Week Two, Silly time: Revelations abound

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join us in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” First Verse

O LORD, please don’t burn us,

Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,

Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,

Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spiritual rendition it warmed my heart as I walked to the pulpit.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode13 page 176 where the prophets say …

Surgeon  Brr brr (picks up phone) No, no wrong number I’m a colleague of his, a surgeon, who specializes in these kind of things.  Yes thank you very much.  (replaces phone).  Next please.  Come in.  Ah come in, please take a seat.  My colleague who has a similar office has explained your case to mif you’ll just step through here I’ll slit you up a treat.  Mr. Notlob, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television.  I’m afraid I’m going to have to operate.  It’s nothing to worry about although it is extremely dangerous.  I shall be juggling with your life, I shall be playing ducks and drakes with your very existence, I shall be running me mits over the pith of your marrow.  Yea!  These hands, these fingers, these sophisticated organs of touch, these bunches of five, these maulers, these German bands that have pulled many a moribund unfortunate back from the very brink of Lazarus’s box.  No, it was Pandora’s box wasn’t it?  Well anyway these mits have earned yours truly a lot of bread. 

Notlob   What?

Surgeon   Mr Notlob, there’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.    

Please open your hymnal to page 16 and join us in singing “Bing Tidde Tiddle Bong”. 

Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bang,    Bung Tiddle Tiddle Bang,

Bung Tiddle Tiddle Tiddle Tiddle Tiddle,

Bung Tiddle Tiddle Bong,    Bung Tiddle Tiddle Bing,

Bung Tiddle Tiddle Bang,

Bing Tiddle Tiddle,    Bang Tiddle Tiddle,    Bong Tiddle Tiddle,

Bing Tiddley Ding Ding Bang Bong.

Please recite with me from memory the birth scene from Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life”. 

Obstetrician 1: Get the EEG, the BP monitor, and the AVV.

Obstetrician 2: And get the machine that goes 'ping!'.

Obstetrician 1: And get the most expensive machine - in case the Administrator comes.

---

Patient: What do I do?

Obstetrician: Nothing, dear, you're not qualified.

---

Hospital Administrator: Ah, I see you have the machine that goes 'ping!'. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to - that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

[The doctors and onlookers applaud.]

Hospital Administrator: Thank you, thank you. We try to do our best. Well, do carry on.

---

[As the doctors drop the baby into an incubator, the mother looks up.]

Patient: Is it a boy or a girl?

Obstetrician: Now, I think it's a little early to start imposing roles on it, don't you? Now, a word of advice. You may find that you suffer for some time a totally irrational feeling of depression. PND is what we doctors call it. So it's lots of happy pills for you, and you can find out all about the birth when you get home. It's available on Betamax, VHS, and Super 8.

Homily:  As the COVID-19 Pandemic rolls along its merry way, facts finally start to become clear.  Once again it is all about the money.  By assigning the COVID Patients to Nursing Homes, more money is made by the state in forced sell downs , estate taxes and confiscation of property.  Nice loot pile there governors Cuomo, Murphy and Whitmer.  The Teacher’s Unions scream all summer that it is not safe to reopen the schools, until they get “Hazard Pay” stipends to increase their salaries.  The police Chief of Detroit does a marvelous job of preparing the city’s police force for an emergency and when DETROIT gets through this summer looking like an organized place with its act together, the loonies come out and demand that the chief resign and the mayor as well.  Because the cranky have not gotten their desired Looting in the city of Detroit.  Yes, my parishoners, it is truly all about the money.  As the stocks of the pharmaceutical companies continue to soar ever higher on rumors of vaccines on the way, and the pharmaceutical company execs sell their shares to the SAPs who think a one time profit is a sign of perpetual income.  It is amazing to see the “little piggies” chasing their poor quality “toilet paper” fiat money.  If it really is all about the money, with the U.S. Debt at 26 trillion, 718 Billion as I write this, how truly pathetic it all really is.  And since the rest of the world is parasiting off the U.S. economy, the further from the source of the fiat paper you are, the worse it will all get, not that it will go well here.   

Amen  

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,

Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.