Week Four of Silly Time

Welcome to the Four Week of “Silly Time”, The six week period between when the gifts of the prophets were bestowed upon Britain and when the same gifts were poured out upon the colonies.  This is a time of solemn introspection and reflection on our lives and their direction. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spiritual rendition I appreciated the drone as I contemplated my bad habits.  

Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode19 page 254 where the prophets say …

Host: Excuse me a moment.

Man: Dung, sir.

Host: What?

Man: We've got your dung.

Host: What dung?

Man: Your dung. Three hundredweight of heavy droppings. Where do you want it? 

Host: I didn't order any dung.

Man: Yes you did, sir. You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club.

Host: Book of the Month Club?

Man: That's right, sir. You get 'Gone with the Wind', 'Les Miserables' by Victor Hugo, 'The French Lieutenant's Woman' and with every third book you get dung.

Host: I didn't know that when I signed the form.

Man: Well, no, no. It wasn't on the form - they found it wasn't good for business. Anyway, we've got three hundredweight of dung in the van. Where do you want it?

Host: Well, I don't think we do. We've no garden.

Man: Well, it'll all fit in here - it's top-class excrement.

Host: You can't put it in here, we've having a dinner party!

Man: 'Salright. I'll put it on the telly.

Please open your hymnal to page 8 and join us in singing “The Money Song verse 1”. 

I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pajamas
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge
I've got lots of lovely lira
Now the deutschmark's getting dearer
And my dollar bills could buy the Brooklyn Bridge
There is ...  nothing quite as wonderful as money!
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash!
Some people say it's folly, but I'd rather have the lolly
With money you can make a splash!

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 29 page 76 where the prophets say …

Idle: Good evening, and welcome to The Money Programme. Tonight on The Money Programme, we're going to look at money. Lots of it. On film, and in the studio. Some of it in nice piles, others in lovely clanky bits of loose change. Some of it neatly counted into fat little hundreds, delicate fivers stuffed into bulging wallets, nice crisp clean checks, pert pieces of copper coinage thrust deep into trouser pockets, romantic foreign money rolling against the thigh with rough familiarity, beautiful wayward curlicued banknotes, filigreed copper plating cheek by jowl with tumbly rubbing gently against the terse leather of beautifully balanced bank books!!

Idle: I'm sorry.

Idle: But I love money.

 

Homily  Parishioners, this week we got to see the economic incompetence of world leaders on full display.  And the suffering that the common people must endure for their elected leaders failings.  Here in America we are told the “Rootin-Tootin Putin” is responsible for all energy issues we and our friends face.  However, in China, which is profiting on the low Russian energy they can buy we still see massive energy shortages causing rationing (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/tesla-nio-ev-charging-stations-go-dark-china-rations-power).  If the western media bothered to report such things I wonder how they would spin it? 

Meanwhile in Germany the consumers are furious about their skyrocketing fuel costs.  Naturally their politicians are cowering in their bunkers making protestations that complaining is “Fascism”.  So the lowly ruled have only the call centers for the energy companies to vent their frustrations on (https://www.reuters.com/markets/europe/energy-company-call-centres-bear-brunt-germans-fury-soaring-bills-2022-09-16/).  Unfortunately the call center drones are unable to do anything and are stuck paying the same rates at their own homes. 

Finally, this week the magnificent people at Statista produced a graphic demonstration of the United Kingdom’s cost of living crisis (https://www.zerohedge.com/personal-finance/breaking-down-uks-cost-living-crisis).  As usual Statista does its customary high quality and in depth work allowing anyone with eyes to see where all of Europe is headed as this crisis plays out.  Britain is just further down the drain than places like Germany. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.