Week Three of Pythonalia

 

All are Welcome to rejoice and enjoy our third week of Pythonalia.  Pythonalia is the six week (in honor of the six holy prophets) celebration of our religion's rich history and impact on civilization.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that Monotone rendition it really fits the air of todays service.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 21 page 286 where the prophets say …

Roy (Eric Idle): (voice over) The mosquito's a clever little bastard. You can track him for days and days until you really get to know him like a friend. He knows you're there, and you know he's there. It's a game of wits. You hate him, then you respect him, then you kill him.

(Cut to Hank Spim who stands peering toward the horizon. Suddenly he points.)

Voice Over: Suddenly Hank spots the mosquito they're after.

(Dramatic music. Crash zoom along Hank's eyeline to as big a close-up as we can get of a patch in a perfectly ordinary field. Cut back to Hank and Roy starting to crawl towards some bushes.)

Voice Over: Now more than ever, they must rely on the skills they have learnt from a lifetime's hunting. (tense music, as they worm their way forward) Hank gauges the wind. (shot of Hank doing complicated wind gauging biz.) Roy examines the mosquito's spoor. (shot of Roy examining the ground intently) Then... (Roy fires a bazooka. Hank fires off a machine gun; a series of almighty explosions in the small patch of field; the gunfire stops and the smoke begins to clear) It's a success. The mosquito now is dead. (Hank and Roy approach the scorched and blackened patch in the field) But Roy must make sure. (Roy points machine gun at head of mosquito and fires off another few rounds)

Roy: There's nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito.

Please open your hymnal to page 13 and join us in singing “Eric the half a Bee”  second Verse

Is this wretched demi-bee,  Half-asleep upon my knee,

Some freak from a menagerie?  No! It's Eric the half a bee!

 Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,  Eric the half a bee.

Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,  Eric the half a bee.

 I love this hive, employee-ee,  Bisected accidentally,

One summer afternoon by me,  I love him carnally.

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 32 page 129 where the prophets say …

Second Interviewer: Hello. I'm sorry about my colleague's rather unconventional behaviour just now, but things haven't been too easy for him recently, trouble at home, rather confidential so I can't give you all the details... interesting though they are... three bottles of rum with his Weetabix, and so on, anyway... apparently the girl wasn't even ... anyway the activity you see behind me... it's the mother I feel sorry for. I'll start again. The activity you see behind me is part of the preparations for the new Naval Expedition to Lake Pahoe. The man in charge of this expedition is Vice Admiral Sir John Cunningham. Sir John, hello there.

Sir John (Graham Chapman): Ah, hello. Well first of all I'd like to apologize for the behaviour of certain of my colleagues you may have seen earlier, but they are from broken homes, circus families and so on and they are in no way representative of the new modern improved British Navy. They are a small vociferous minority; and may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit, but all new ratings are warned that if they wake up in the morning and find any toothmarks at all anywhere on their bodies, they're to tell me immediately so that I can immediately take every measure to hush the whole thing up. And, finally, necrophilia is right out. (the interviewer keeps nodding but looks embarrassed) Now, this expedition is primarily to investigate reports of cannibalism and necrophilia in... this expedition is primarily to investigate reports of unusual marine life in the as yet uncharted Lake Pahoe.

 

Homily  The absolute failure of the “Fifth Estate” to even keep us informed of basic events going on around the world is reaching alarming levels.  Our inability to fix the world’s ills aside, it would be good to know the facts to assist with decisions on local matters, but then again the members of the “Fifth Estate” have decided that we should not be allowed to think for ourselves. 

As a simple example the legacy media continues to prattle on about MAGA “danger to our democracy” which overlooks actual research which shows that Left Wingers like AntiFa is the greater danger (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/domestic-left-wing-extremist-groups-more-dangerous-maga-republicans-experts).  This research is from Rutgers of all sources! 

In an actually shocking failure, our “Fifth Estate” has also neglected to inform us that China has set up more than 50 private police stations in countries around the world (https://safeguarddefenders.com/sites/default/files/pdf/110%20Overseas%20%283%29.pdf).  Astonishingly this list of countries includes the U.S. where the Chinese have a police station in New York City!  No wonder the city is getting overwhelmed by foreigners?

Perhaps the most shocking thing the “Fifth Estate” has failed to inform us of though, has to be that China has been allowed to not only buy property in Florida, but to also open a Primate breeding center on said property (https://www.zerohedge.com/medical/chinese-labs-purchase-us-land-primate-breeding-facility-draws-scrutiny)!  Besides the obvious potential for catastrophe shown by recent history, this action also allows for the potential purposeful release of a catastrophe on our own soil.  Such an abject failure by our “Fifth Estate” raises the question of why anyone would pay attention to them, if anyone still does!

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.