Week Eleven Ordinary Time
Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our
processional “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please
don’t burn us, Don’t grill or toast
your flock,
Don’t put us on
the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a wok.
|
Minister |
Good evening. We in
the Wood Party feel very strongly that the present weak drafting of the Local
Government Bill leaves a lot to be desired, and we intend to fight. |
|
He thumps on the desk
and he falls through the floor. (Yes Mr Director you did read that right: he
fell through the floor and added a fortune to the budget). As he falls he
emits a long scream, fading away slowly. Another man comes and looks down
into the pit. |
|
|
Man |
Hello
Helllllllllloooooooooo! (to camera) Er
I, I'm afraid the minister's fallen through the Earth's crust. Er... excuse
me a moment. (goes and looks at
pit) Helloooo. |
|
Minister |
(unseen, a long way
down) Helloooooo. |
|
Man |
Are you all right
minister? |
|
Minister |
I appear to have
landed on this kind of ledge thing. |
|
Man |
Shall we lower down
one of the BBC ropes? |
|
Minister |
If you'd be so kind. |
|
Man |
What length of BBC
rope will we be likely to need? |
Open your hymnal to page 13 and join us in singing “Rhubard Tart” Verse 2
The principles of modern philosophy
Were postulated by Descartes
Discarding everything he wasn't certain of
He said, "I think therefore I am rhubarb tart"
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart
Rene who? Rene Descartes
Poor mutt, he thought he was a rhubarb tart
Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to
episode 32 page 128 where the prophets say …
|
(and CAPTION:) 'WE WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE
WAY IN WHICH POLITICIANS ARE REPRESENTED IN THIS PROGRAMME. IT WAS NEVER OUR
INTENTION TO IMPLY THAT POLITICIANS ARE WEAK-KNEED, POLITICAL TIME-SERVERS
WHO ARE CONCERNED MORE WITH THEIR PERSONAL VENDETTAS AND PRIVATE POWER
STRUGGLES THAN THE PROBLEMS OF GOVERNMENT, NOR TO SUGGEST AT ANY POINT THAT
THEY SACRIFICE THEIR CREDIBILITY BY DENYING FREE DEBATE ON VITAL MATTERS IN
THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT PARTY UNITY COMES BEFORE THE WELL-BEING OF THE
PEOPLE THEY SUPPOSEDLY REPRESENT NOR TO IMPLY AT ANY STAGE THAT THEY ARE
SQUABBLING LITTLE TOADIES WITHOUT AN OUNCE OF CONCERN FOR THE VITAL SOCIAL
PROBLEMS OF TODAY. NOR INDEED DO WE INTEND THAT VIEWERS SHOULD CONSIDER THEM
AS CRABBY ULCEROUS LITTLE SELF-SEEKING VERMIN WITH FURRY LEGS AND AN
EXCESSIVE ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND CERTAIN EXPLICIT SEXUAL PRACTICES WHICH
SOME PEOPLE MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE. WE ARE SORRY IF THIS
IMPRESSION HAS COME ACROSS. |
Homily: So Sleepy Uncle Joe announced during the campaign that Only a Dictator rules by Presidential Orders. So naturally we would expect him to use the primary tool of “Dictators” very rarely. In case you do not believe me please see him say it here ( https://twitter.com/tomselliott/status/1354035368211984390?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1354035368211984390%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theblaze.com%2Fnews%2Fbiden-executive-orders-actions-hypocrisy ). However, Sleepy Uncle Joe seems to be deciding that he DOES want to be a Dictator as he has signed 37 Executive orders as of January 29, the 9th day of his Presidency ( https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2021/01/29/all-executive-orders-president-joe-biden-has-signed/4308740001/ ). Remember that if you rule by Executive Order you are a Dictator, according to Sleepy Uncle Joe.
In particular, on January 26th
Sleepy Uncle Joe signed an order “Recommitting the government to respecting
Tribal Sovereignty.” Of course on day
one of his administration he banned new
drilling on federal lands, which Multiple tribal entities have already launched
law suits against him for violating their tribal rights ( http://www.keweenawreport.com/news/indian-tribes-push-back-against-biden-administration/
). It is good to see that he is already demonstrating
his senility as he apparently can not remember what he has ordered five days
after he ordered it.
Amen
Oh Please don’t
lightly poach us, Or Baste us with hot
fat,
Don’t fricassee
or roast us, Or boil us in a vat,
And please don’t
stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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