The Seventeenth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Seventeenth week of Ordinary Time. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

After this week, I thank you for soothing my rattled nerves from the events of this week, with that dulcet rendition.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 8 page 96 where the prophets say …

Watkins	I'd like to leave the army please, sir.
Colonel	Good heavens man, why?
Watkins	It's dangerous.
Colonel	What?
Watkins	There are people with guns out there, sir.
Colonel	What?
Watkins	Real guns, sir. Not toy ones, sir. Proper ones, sir. They've all got 'em. All of 'em, sir. And some of 'em have got tanks.
Colonel	Watkins, they are on our side.
Watkins	And grenades, sir. And machine guns, sir. So I'd like to leave, sir, before I get killed, please.
Colonel	Watkins, you've only been in the army a day.
Watkins	I know sir but people get killed, properly dead, sir, no barley cross fingers, sir. A bloke was telling me, if you're in the army and there's a war you have to go and fight.
Colonel	That's true.
Watkins	Well I mean, blimey, I mean if it was a big war somebody could be hurt.
Colonel	Watkins why did you join the army?
Watkins	For the water-skiing and for the travel, sir. And not for the killing, sir. I asked them to put it on my form, sir - no killing.
Colonel	Watkins are you a pacifist?
Watkins	No sir, I'm not a pacifist, sir. I'm a coward.

Open your hymnal to page 23 and join us in singing “Philosopher’s Song” verse 2

Plato, they say, could stick it away,  Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,  And Hobbes was fond of his dram

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,  "I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,  A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 42 page 278 where the prophets say … RAF banter

Bovril	How was it?
Squadron Leader	Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
Bovril	Er, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you, Squadron Leader.
Squadron Leader	It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry...pranged his kite right in the how's yer father...hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
Bovril	No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower.
Squadron Leader	Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy.

 

Homily:  As the war in Ukraine continues and the escalations inch ever closer to a confrontation between Russia and NATO I thought it would be a good time to remind all of the state of military affairs in the arena.  First off, just in case we forgot that the whole world is lost its mind, recently a gold convoy from a Canadian Company mine in Burkina Faso was attacked by rebels in a vast increase of the violence in the region (https://www.reuters.com/world/canadian-mining-firm-iamgold-convoy-attacked-burkina-faso-several-missing-2021-10-29/).  Naturally, the Legacy Media ignored this story, but as Gold reaches a new all time high price, the level of such violence will only escalate. 

Closer to America, this last week what is described as an “Extermination Site” was found in Northern Mexico (https://apnews.com/article/europe-mexico-caribbean-forensics-4248edf042a13cce16801d58ee6ffea2 ).  The officials investigating the site cannot even begin to estimate how many people’s remains are present, but it is running into the tens of thousands.  That southern border is certainly looking in need of more attention every day. 

America’s Confidence in the direction our current leadership is taking is at an all time low, and that is not just in relationship to the endless opinion polls.  Recently the state of Oklahoma decided to stop following Federal regulations regarding COVID (https://www.oklahoman.com/story/news/2021/11/12/newly-oklahoma-national-guard-leader-changes-covid-vaccine-policy/8586292002/).  Today it is COVID regulations and border regulations (both Texas and Arizona have decided to patrol the border themselves).  Tomorrow, expect that to get broader, 

Meanwhile, what has the Biden Administration been working on - Racial Equity.  In particular, in the name of Racial Equity the Biden Administration has decided to hand out FREE Crack Pipes (https://freebeacon.com/biden-administration/biden-admin-to-fund-crack-pipe-distribution-to-advance-racial-equity/)!  While the entire continent of Africa descends into Civil War, The Nation of Mexico descends into Hell itself, And American States begin taking international policy into their own hands because the Federal Government will not.  Our Federal Government is going to hand out Crack pipes.  I am unsure how taking more drugs makes any of these problems better, but I do see how drug addicts will not notice the problems.  Hopefully they will also forget to vote. 

Amen  

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.