Week One of Pythonalia Honoraria
This week begins the Celebration of the Four Honorary Pythons who
assisted the Prophets in bringing the Saving Grace of Pythonalia to the
world.
Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our
processional “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please
don’t burn us, Don’t grill or toast
your flock,
Don’t put us on
the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or
bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
Now please open The Holy
Text volume 1 to episode 16 page 218 where the prophets say …
|
First
Hermit |
Still there's one thing about being a hermit, at least you
meet people. |
|
Second
Hermit |
Oh yes, I wouldn't go back to public relations. |
|
First
Hermit |
Oh well, bye for now Frank, must toddle. |
|
Colonel |
(coming on) Right,
you two hermits, stop that sketch. I think it's silly. |
|
Second
Hermit |
What? |
|
Colonel |
It's silly. |
|
Second
Hermit |
What do you mean, you can't stop it - it's on film. |
|
Colonel |
That doesn't make any difference to the viewer at home, does
it? Come on, get out. Out. Come on out, all of you. Get off, go on, all of
you. Go on, move, move. Go on, get out. Come on, get out, move, move. |
|
He shoos them and the film crew off the hillside. |
Open your hymnal to page
5 and join us in singing “Dennis Moore” verse 1
Dennis Moore, Dennis
Moore, Galloping through the sward
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, And his horse Concorde
He steals from the rich, And gives to the poor
Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore
Now please open The Holy
Text volume 2 to episode 26 page 30 where the prophets say … Dennis Moore
|
Voice
Over |
Our first contestant is a hairdresser from... |
|
A shot rings out and the contestant falls to the floor.
Applause. |
|
|
Highwayman |
I never did like that kind of person... ! |
|
A shot rings out. He dies. Cut to Dennis Moore on a horse
blowing smoke from gun and putting it in his holster. He gallops off. We see
him swooping down, after a couple of riding shots, on another stagecoach. |
|
|
Moore |
Halt! Halt! (the stage comes to a halt and the occupants get out rapidly, their
hands held high) Gentlemen,
ladies, bring out your valuables please. Come along sir, come along. Come
along, madam, come along. Oh, is that all you've got ... well, he's got much
more than you ... so you'd better have some of his ... (transfers money from one passenger to
another, dropping some)...
sorry... pick them up in a moment... there's about oh, what, nine down
there... so you must have about... oh, he's still got lots... oh you've got
what? ... you've got more than he started with... so if I give you some of
those (transferring more
coins) ... well now,
look ... have you got a bit of jewellery? If I give you that one and you have
some of his coins (the
credits start, superimposed) ... is that another box? Were you trying to hide it?
Well, that's nice! Right! Now. I've got a tiara ... you've got one... you've
got one of the boxes... you've got one... anyone else got a tiara? Take your
hat off! (passenger does so to
reveal a tiara)... Oh, honestly,
it's absolutely pointless trying to do this if you're going to cheat. It
really is awful of you;.. (fade out) |
Homily: Parishioners,
As Sleepy Joe guides our ship of state into World War III in slow motion I
thought I would use Pythonalia Honoraria this year to remind you all of what we
might do to attempt to prepare for the approaching cataclysm. This week I will start with food, the basic
of life.
The current problems in our Milk supply are brought on by
too few cows to make milk. Thus, the
decline in supply continues even as prices rise. The recent USDA Milk Report ( https://www.nmpf.org/dairy-market-report-january-2022/ ) shows
just how bad the situation is already. So perhaps powdered milk and wheels of
cheeses still in the wax casing would be in order before the masses move on the
supply as they did when the Pandemic first hit.
I guess Milk does NOT do a “Biden” good!
Next, Eggs
have also gone into an inflationary collapse.
In case you did not know Avian Bird Flu has reached America and has
already led to the destruction of millions of birds across the U.S. as well as
damage done to many other parts of the world.
When this is combined with the pernicious and evil effects of Bidenflation
we end up with skyrocketing Egg prices as supplies rapidly dwindle ( https://www.zerohedge.com/commodities/egg-prices-soar-highly-pathogenic-bird-flu-spreads-ahead-easter ).
So while literally all of Sleepy Joe’s economic “idea’s” lay eggs, it
seems there may not be any real eggs being laid soon enough.
While of
course here in America the Media continues to lie in a pathetic attempt to
paper over Biden’s manifest failures ( https://www.zerohedge.com/political/tk-mashup-media-campaign-protect-joe-biden-passes-point-absurdity
), not all countries media are lying to their readers/listeners/viewers. In particular, in Britain the media (which is
state run!) warns Brits to prepare for a
DRAMATIC down turn in their standard of living at least is offering a
refreshing breath of honesty ( https://www.reuters.com/world/uk/inflation-hits-30-year-high-uk-households-start-buckle-2022-02-22/ ).
The one good
thing about having our country run by a senile sex offender is that every so
often the lunatic will utter the truth ( https://finance.yahoo.com/news/biden-says-expect-real-food-175308088.html
) even while all his media lackies are lying.
So at least we can have these rare moments of reality interjecting into
the insanity that is our current state of affairs.
Amen
Please join us in our recessional
on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t
lightly poach us, Or Baste us with hot
fat,
Don’t fricassee
or roast us, Or boil us in a vat,
And please don’t
stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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