Week Six of Extra Ordinary Time

This week please enjoy our service in honor of the prophet Michael P.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for your spirited rendition, it literally made me delerious.  

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 8 page 96 where the prophets say …

Sergeant	Two civilian gentlemen to see you ... sir!
Colonel	Show them in please, sergeant.
Sergeant	Mr Dino Vercotti and Mr Luigi Vercotti.
	The Vercotti brothers enter. They wear Mafia suits and dark glasses.
Dino	Good morning, colonel.
Colonel	Good morning gentlemen. Now what can I do for you.
Luigi	(looking round office casually)You've ... you've got a nice army base here, colonel.
Colonel	Yes.
Luigi	We wouldn't want anything to happen to it.
Colonel	What?
Dino	No, what my brother means is it would be a shame if... (he knocks something off mantel)
Colonel	Oh.
Dino	Oh sorry, colonel.

Open your hymnal to page 18 and join us in singing “I Like Chinese” Verse 1

The world today seems absolutley crackers,  With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.  It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...
I like chinese,  I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,  Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to to please.

I like chinese,  I like chinese,
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today,  You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say.

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 34 page 156 where the prophets say …

Pither	Excuse me. Is this the British Consulate?
Chinaman	Yes yes... si si...that is correctment. Yes... Piccadilly Circus, mini-skirt and Joe Lyons.
Pither	I wish to see the consul, please.
Chinaman	Yes, yes, speakee speakee... me Blitish consul.
Pither	Oh! (he examines his diary.) You are Rear Admiral Sir Dudley Compton?
Chinaman	No. He died. He have heart attack and fell out of window onto exploding bomb, and was killed in a shooting accident. I...I his how you say...succ...sussor.
Pither	Oh, successor.
Chinaman	I'm his successor, Mr Atkinson.
Pither	Oh.
Chinaman	Would you like drinkee? Or game bingo?
Pither	Well.... A drink would be very nice.
	The Chinaman claps his hands and another runs in and bows obsequiously.
Chinaman	Mr. Livingstone. Go and get sake.
Livingstone	Yes, Boss. (goes)
Chinaman	How is Tonblidge Wells? How I long to see again walls of famous Shakespeare-style theatre in Stlatford-on-Avon.
Pither	Oh well, I'm a West Country man myself, Mr. Atkinson.
Chinaman	Oh Texas - Arizona - Kit Carson Super Scout.
Pither	No. No. West of England... Cornwall.
Chinaman	(with difficulty) Coron... worll...
Pither	Cornwall.
Chinaman	Coronworl...oh yes know Coronworl very well. Went to school there, mother and father live there, ah yes. Go many weekend parties and polo playing cards in blidge club. Belong many clubs in Coronworld.

 

Homily:  Parishioners, so I thought it might be a good time to pause all the doom and gloom about the food supply and economy and remind you all of the clown car crash that is the Sleepy Uncle Joe/“Harris” Administration.  As is usual, The Biden/Harris Administration has been doing its best to be the laughing stock of the world. 

First up we have the recent announcement by a U.S. consulate in Mexico which urged staff to stay indoors because of the ongoing gun fights on the streets ( https://www.reuters.com/world/americas/us-consulate-mexico-border-city-urges-staff-stay-indoors-after-gunfight-2022-03-14/ ).  Naturally, this is the same border that the Biden/Harris administration wants to open for immigration! 

The Biden/Harris Administration apparently does not even need to actually open the border.  People from across the border are already getting in for a most Remarkable purpose “Crime Tourists”  (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10619547/Spate-home-burglaries-California-linked-criminal-tourists-target-rich.html )!  Just when you think it can not get worse, the clown car disgorges another astounding turn of events.  It turns out that now people are sneaking across the same border that the Biden/Harris Administration wants to open to steal from Americans and then sneaking back across the border to enjoy their stolen goods.  The criminals now look at America as simply a convenient pile of loot to come and steal from to enrich their lives back home.  These clowns are literally presiding over the ‘redistribution’ of our wealth to criminals in other countries. 

Now, as a final note it turns out that other nations are quite aware of how pathetically the “Adults in the Room” also known as our “Clown Car” Administration are performing.  Saudi Arabia, once upon a time our “friend”, now mocks Biden Harris openly on their TV shows (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/you-know-things-are-bad-when-saudi-state-tv-mocks-biden).  Just think, all these antics in less than 18, these clowns have 30 months more of damage to do to our country. 

 

Amen  

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.