The Eleventh Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Eleventh week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spirited rendition it cannot compare to my child’s cheer team, but was a nice effort.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 12 page 160 where the prophets say …

Minister	Good evening. We in the Wood Party feel very strongly that the present weak drafting of the Local Government Bill leaves a lot to be desired, and we intend to fight.
	He thumps on the desk and he falls through the floor. (Yes Mr Director you did read that right: he fell through the floor and added a fortune to the budget). As he falls he emits a long scream, fading away slowly. Another man comes and looks down into the pit.
Man	Hello Helllllllllloooooooooo! (to camera) Er I, I'm afraid the minister's fallen through the Earth's crust. Er... excuse me a moment. (goes and looks at pit) Helloooo.
Minister	(unseen, a long way down) Helloooooo.
Man	Are you all right minister?
Minister	I appear to have landed on this kind of ledge thing.
Man	Shall we lower down one of the BBC ropes?
Minister	If you'd be so kind.
Man	What length of BBC rope will we be likely to need?

Open your hymnal to page 13 and join us in singing “Rhubard Tart”  Verse 2

The principles of modern philosophy
Were postulated by Descartes
Discarding everything he wasn't certain of
He said, "I think therefore I am rhubarb tart"
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart
Rene who? Rene Descartes
Poor mutt, he thought he was a rhubarb tart

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 32 page 128 where the prophets say …

Voice Over

(and CAPTION:) 'WE WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAY IN WHICH POLITICIANS ARE REPRESENTED IN THIS PROGRAMME. IT WAS NEVER OUR INTENTION TO IMPLY THAT POLITICIANS ARE WEAK-KNEED, POLITICAL TIME-SERVERS WHO ARE CONCERNED MORE WITH THEIR PERSONAL VENDETTAS AND PRIVATE POWER STRUGGLES THAN THE PROBLEMS OF GOVERNMENT, NOR TO SUGGEST AT ANY POINT THAT THEY SACRIFICE THEIR CREDIBILITY BY DENYING FREE DEBATE ON VITAL MATTERS IN THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT PARTY UNITY COMES BEFORE THE WELL-BEING OF THE PEOPLE THEY SUPPOSEDLY REPRESENT NOR TO IMPLY AT ANY STAGE THAT THEY ARE SQUABBLING LITTLE TOADIES WITHOUT AN OUNCE OF CONCERN FOR THE VITAL SOCIAL PROBLEMS OF TODAY. NOR INDEED DO WE INTEND THAT VIEWERS SHOULD CONSIDER THEM AS CRABBY ULCEROUS LITTLE SELF-SEEKING VERMIN WITH FURRY LEGS AND AN EXCESSIVE ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND CERTAIN EXPLICIT SEXUAL PRACTICES WHICH SOME PEOPLE MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE. WE ARE SORRY IF THIS IMPRESSION HAS COME ACROSS.

 

Homily  The “Dumbocrats” desire to control our lives is truly dizzying to see in effect.  They manage to “talk” out of both ends at the same time and seriously expect us to still follow the obviously detached from reality commands anyway.  This week the Biden/Harris Administration started off vomiting out the idea that they were going to ban natural gas stoves (https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-01-09/us-safety-agency-to-consider-ban-on-gas-stoves-amid-health-fears?sref=6uww027M).  Naturally this is for both our own “safety” and of course for the ever present “climate change”.  It can not be simply an attempt to deny freedom because “they” know what is good for us. 

Next, the Biden/Harris dietary “expert” announced the obvious “science based” notion that “willpower does not exist, and obesity is a brain disease” (https://www.zerohedge.com/medical/biden-dietary-expert-claims-willpower-doesnt-exist-and-obesity-brain-disease).  Of course having defined basically all of America as “Obese” and now working toward determining that Obesity is a “brain disease” just think of all the basic freedoms guaranteed under the constitution that can be denied to someone because their “brain” is “diseased”. 

Finally, just in case ANYONE is still inclined to trust anything the “Dumbocrats” say, the Libtard Dumbocrats of Martha’s Vinyard have launched legal challenges against the building of low cost housing in Nantucket because it is dangerous and damages property values (https://www.thedailybeast.com/nantucket-roiled-by-surfside-crossing-affordable-housing-plan?ref=scroll).  The poor people “NEED” housing, they just “NEED” it as far away from the “Elites” as possible. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.