Week Two of Extra Ordinary Time

 

Welcome all to the second week of Extra Ordinary Time.   

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 20 page 269 where the prophets say …

Assistant	Professor! What is it? What have you seen?
Professor	Look - there, in the doorway.
	Cut to doorway: through it is animation of a huge sheep with an eye patch.
Assistant	Urghhh! Arthur X! Leader of the Pennine Gang!
	ANIMATION: perhaps even mixed with stock film - as the fevered mind of Gilliam takes it - sheep armed to the teeth, sheep executing dangerous raids, Basil Cassidy and the Sundance Sheep, sheep with machine gun coming out of its arse etc. At the end of the animation, cut to studio. A narrator sitting in what could be a news set at a desk.
Narrator	But soon the killer sheep began to infect other animals with its startling intelligence. Pussy cats began to arrange mortgages, cocker spaniels began to design supermarkets...

Open your hymnal to page 2 and join us in singing “Spam” verse 1

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!,  Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 25 page 27 where the prophets say …

Mr Bun	Morning
Waitress	Morning
Mr Bun	What have you got, then?
Waitress	Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Mrs Bun	Have you got anything without spam in it?
Waitress	Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Mrs Bun	I don't want ANY spam!
Mr Bun	Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
Mrs Bun	That's got spam in it!
Mr Bun	Not as much as spam, egg, sausage and spam.
Mrs Bun	Look, could I have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
Waitress	Uuuuuuggggh!

Homily  Parishioners, based on the reaction to last week’s environmentally themed Homily I decided since the week offered the opportunity to pay some more attention to science this week. 

Starting with some further info on the troubling off shore wind farms.  This week courtesy of the United States Navy (https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-04-17/pentagon-calls-biden-wind-farm-plans-problematic-for-us-military?leadSource=uverify%20wall)!  It turns out that the Navy also has a problem with the off shore windmills as they mess up the use of hydrophones.  So now not only are the off shore windmills killing birds, Bat and whales, but also undermining our national defense.  Obviously, we “need” these windmills! 

Next up, BBC news has put out a video guide for children to “help’ them put pressure on their parents to make greater sacrifices for the environment (https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-65339214).  Naturally there will be no chance of this turning into some sort of “rat your parents out” scheme, as we all know that neither the BBC, nor governments want such things going on?   

Finally, in a slightly more “tangential” science reality.  It turns out that rather than focusing on the murder of three children and three educators, by a transgender person.  The media pond scum has chosen to focus on some reporters use of the shooters “dead name” and “misgendering” as a violation of the life, memory and rights of the murderer (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/leftists-complain-about-transgender-shooter-being-misgendered)!  Because obviously “misgendering” a murderer, or use of the murder’s “dead name” which the murder went by for a longer period of time than their “name of choice”, are “more” serious, or at the very least just as serious, as murdering six people!  Right?

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.