Week Two of Pythonalia Honoraria

 

Welcome to the Second week of our SUPER time, “Pythonalia Honoraria” where we will spend four weeks celebrating the four Honorary Pythons.  This week, week two, we will celebrate Carol Cleveland, who appeared in all four seasons of the tele show and in all of the Python Movies as well.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 5 page 63 where the prophets say …

She	Oh, oh, oh Bevis, should we?
Bevis	Oh Dora. Why not?
She	Be gentle with me.
	Cut to film montage. Collapsing factory chimney in reverse motion; pan up tall soaring poplars in the wind; waves crashing; fish in shallow water fountains; exploding fireworks; volcano erupting with lava; rocket taking off, express train going into a tunnel; dam bursting; battleship broadside; lion leaping through flaming hoop; Richard Nixon smiling; milking a cow; planes refuelling in mid-air; Women's Institute applauding; tossing the caber; plane falling in flames; tree crashing to the ground; the lead shot tower collapsing (normal motion). Cut back to the girl in bed.
She	(smoking) Oh Bevis, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?
	We see Bevis, with small projector.
Bevis	Just one more, dear.
She	Oh.

Open your hymnal to page 9 and join us in singing “The Philosopher Song” verse 2

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away,  Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, And Hobbes was fond of his dram.

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 36 page 181 where the prophets say …

Second Assistant	There's a 'Bridget - Queen of the Whip'.
Nid	Yes...
Second Assistant	Or 'Naughty Nora'... or there's this one: 'Doug, Bob and Gordon Visit the Ark Royal'. Or there's 'Sister Teresa - The Spanking Nun'.
Nid	Mmmm... I see ... you don't have anything specially about Devon and Cornwall?
Second Assistant	No. I'm afraid not, sir.
Nid	The one I was really after was Arthur Hotchkiss's 'Devonshire Country Churches'.
Second Assistant	Well how about this, sir: 'Bum Biters'.
Nid	No ... not really ... I don't suppose you have any general surveys of English Church architecture?
Second Assistant	No, it's not really our line, sir.
Nid	No, I see. Well, never mind I'll just take the 'Lord Lieutenant in Nylons' then, and these two copies of 'Piggie Parade'. Thank you.
Second Assistant	Right, sir.

 

Homily  Parishioners, the saying “the dumbing down of America” has been around for many years, but it seems to be intensifying from the current “leaders” of our country.  Recently the Biden/Harris Administration decided to remove an older rule that barred hiring people in a country from working in our intelligence agencies ON that country.  In the past considerable concerns about the potential of spying against America drove this rule.  But now this rule is being tossed out (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/us-state-department-lifts-assignment-restrictions-used-discourage-foreign-recruiting).  Naturally the change is in the name of “diversity”!  Hmm, let me think “diversity” or “National Security” which needs attention?

Of course the idiocy not only continues, but expands.  The U.S. Intelligence Chief recently ordered that future hiring  at the various intelligence agencies needs to focus on … wait for it … “diversity, equity, and inclusion” (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/us-intel-agencies-need-focus-intensely-diversity-equity-inclusion-intelligence-chief-says)!  Not quality applicants.  Not experienced applicants.  The intelligence agencies require “diverse applicants”.  I am sure that there will be NO impact on our intelligence services from this directive – and by “NO” I mean “MASSIVE”! 

Just in case the “D. E. I.” wagon had not gone off the track with the above stories we can also add the following.  “D.E.I.” ‘kool aide drinkers” are now calling for the “Culling” of diversity critics (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/take-them-slaughterhouse-trustee-calls-culling-dei-critics).  Before anyone tries to defend this sort of “hate speech” please note that the cretin specifically calls for taking such critics to the “slaughterhouse”, so this is not ‘hyperbole’, it is a call to murder! 

SO how does all this tie into “the Dumbing down of America” you might ask?  The recent story of the cancellation of the National Geographic Geographic Bee in the name of “Equity” should make the matter “easy peasy Japanesey” to understand (https://support.nationalgeographic.org/s/article/National-Geographic-GeoBee).  So now we can literally replace facts (Geography), with personally feelings (Equity).  I am sure that this will cascade to larger problems as the years roll along.  Good luck finding our way throurgh this mess. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.