The Ninth Week of Extra Ordinary Time

 

Welcome all to the Ninth week of Extra Ordinary Time.   

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for your sonorious rendition, it literally was invaluable in navigating my way to the altar.

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 19 page 252 where the prophets say …

Interviewer	Mr L. F. Dibley's 'Finian's Rainbow'. And now over to me. (close-up of interviewer) Exclusively on the programme today we have the Foreign Secretary, who has just returned from the bitter fighting in the Gulf of Amman. He's going to tell us about canoeing.
	On the bank of a river seen from the other side. There is a canoe on the bank a man in a pinstripe suit stands beside it. SUPERIMPOSEN CAPTION: 'THE FOREIGN SECRETARY' He gives a little cough and gets in. Two Arabs run in from other side of frame, lift up the canoe and throw it and the Foreign Secretary into the water. Cut back to the interviewer.
Interviewer	That gives you just some idea of what's going on out there. Today saw the long-awaited publication of the Portman Committee's Report on Industrial Reorganization...

 

Open your hymnal to page 31 and join us in singing “Anything goes In”

 Anything goes in,  Anything goes out
Fish, bananas, old pyjamas,  Mutton, beef and trout

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page 223 where the prophets say …

Presenter	And welcome to 'Spot the Loony', where once again we invite you to come with us all over the world to meet all kinds of people in all kinds of places, and ask you to . .. Spot the Loony! (crescendo of music)
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'ALL ANSWERS VERIFIED BY ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA'
Presenter	Our panel this evening... Gurt Svensson, the Swedish mammal abuser and part-time radiator.
	Cut to Svensson. He is standing on his head on the desk with his legs crossed in a yoga position. He wears a loincloth and high-heeled shoes. He talks through a megaphone which is strapped to his head.
Svensson	Good evening.
	Cut back to the presenter.
Presenter	Dame Elsie Occluded, historian, wit, bon viveur, and rear half of the Johnson brothers...
	Cut to another section of the panel's desk. Dame Elsie. Her bottom half is encased in the side of a block of concrete which is also on top of the desk. Dame Elsie is thus parallel to the ground. She has fairy wings on her back, a striped t-shirt, flying gloves, goggles and a green wig.
Dame Elsie	Good evening.
	Cut back to the presenter.
Presenter	And Miles Yellowbird, up high in banana tree, the golfer and inventor of Catholicism.
	Cut to final section of the desk. A man dressed as a rabbit, with a megaphone strapped to one eye.
Miles	Good evening.
Presenter	And we'll be inviting them to... Spot the Loony. (a phone rings on the desk; he picks it up) Yes? Quite right ... A viewer from Preston there who's pointed out correctly that the entire panel are loonies. Five points to Preston there, and on to our first piece of film. It's about mountaineering and remember you have to... Spot the Loony!

 

Homily  Well Parishioners, this week I thought I would take a look at our eventual replacements flooding across all our borders these days thanks to the “efforts” of Sleepy/Trippy Uncle Joe.  To start the discussion I will point out that STUJ (pronounced Stooge) has finally gotten his way and removed all the impediments to illegals crossing the borders.  In the first partial week after the removal of the last legal protections 83,000 illegals crossed into America (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/record-setting-83000-migrants-illegally-crossed-us-border-week 83,000).  That was only a partial week total mind you, and only represented those “caught” after entry. 

It was also recently announced that more than 800,000 illegals will be allow in permanently this year on “Humanitarian” grounds (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/dhs-faces-backlash-over-app-used-grant-would-be-illegal-immigrants-entry-us).  Naturally the burden for all these “Humanitarian” cases will be covered by … the taxpayers! 

And how are our tax dollars being spent on these new residents?  Well in Minnesota the Dumbocrats have decided to give illegals free college (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/infuriating-college-tuition-made-free-illegal-immigrants-minnesota).  Because illegals are noted for valuing a college education based on their experiences with college in the “origin” countries.  Just in case such insipid waste of tax dollars was not enough, the American Red Cross has also stepped in to offer its own waste of tax payer money (https://dailycaller.com/2023/03/09/red-cross-southern-border-federal-emergency-management-agency/)!  Namely, the Red Cross is handing out maps to show Illegals how and where to cross into America, and where and how to get contraceptives and free “medical” care once they are in America! 

Just in case all this is not progress enough for STUJ, it turns out that the illegals have also apparently discovered the “back door” into America, no doubt with considerable assistance from the black/brown face in Chief Justin Trudeau (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/northern-us-border-encounters-illegals-more-double-7-months).  So now we need TWO WALLS! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.