The Fifth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Fifth week of Ordinary Time.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that non groveling rendition it warmed my heart as I "boom tubed" to the pulpit.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 22 page 303 where the prophets say: 

Radio Announcer: And now the BBC is proud to present a brand new radio drama series, "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots." Part One: The Beginning.

Man's voice: Yoo arrr Mary, Queen of Scots?

Woman's voice: I am!

(sound of violent blows being dealt, things being smashed, awful crunching noises, bones being broken, and other bodily harm being inflicted. All of this accompanied by screaming from the woman.)

Announcer: Stay tuned for part two of the Radio Four Production of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", coming up...almost immediately.

(music then sound of saw cutting, and other violent sounds as before, with the woman screaming. Suddenly it is silent.)

Man's voice: I think she's dead.

Woman's voice: No I'm not!

(sounds of physical harm and screaming start again. then music fades up and out)

Open your hymnal to page 36 and join us in singing “Always look on the Bright Side of Life”  Verse 3

 So always look on the bright side of death,  (Whistle)

A-Just before you draw your terminal breath,  (Whistle)

Life's a piece of shit (Oooh),  When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true (Oooh)
You'll see it's all a show (Oooh),  Keep 'em laughin' as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you (Oooh)

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 45 page 334 where the prophets say …

Nurse	Oh doctor, I've just shot another patient. I don't think there's any point in your seeing him.
Doctor	You didn't kill him, did you?
Nurse	'Fraid so.
Doctor	You mustn't kill them, nurse.
Nurse	Oh, I'm sorry doctor. It was just on the spur of the moment. Rather silly really.
	She exits, taking a sword from the wall. Through the next bit of the scene we hear screams off.
Williams	I'm sorry about the carpet, doctor.
Doctor	Mr Williams, I'm afraid I can't give you any marks, so I won't be able to recommend you for hospital. Tell you what - I'll stop the bleeding - but strictly speaking I shouldn't even do that on marks like these...
	The nurse enters covered in blood.
Nurse	There are no more patients now, doctor.
Doctor	Oh well, let's go and have lunch, then.

 

Homily Parishioners, once again the clamor rises of the “drum beat to war”.  All around the world voices are crying out to prepare for war.  Unfortunately none of these voices know what they are talking about, or plan to fight this looming war themselves. The current chief of NATO, Mark Rutte claims that Europe must prepare for wars like their parents and Grand Parents fought, those would be the World Wars for those who are generationally challenged (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/prepare-coming-world-war-nato-chief-says).  The only problem with this line of “thought” is that everyone in Europe LOST those wars, requiring the United States to bail them out to a sort of victory! 

The most ridiculous nation prattling on about this near war is France.  Their government is so incompetent that they can not even keep their lying straight.  As Macron promises French 18 and 19 year olds that they will NOT have to serve in Ukraine if they join the French military (https://apnews.com/article/france-macron-voluntary-military-service-russia-war-b4e718e8f3ddd4f807c503e5425fc018).  His top generalissimo is whining that France must be ready to “lose its children” in a war with Russia (https://archive.ph/08enG)!  There seems to be a contradiction in statements here.  More importantly is this the NEW “Great Replacement Theory” as if France “lose(s) its children” in a war with Russia, then that would only leave the children of the MENA “migrants” to inherit whatever will remain of the nation of France.  Perhaps “The Ultimate Replacement” is a more accurate name? 

While the Europeans are certainly much further down this rabbit hole of insanity, they are unfortunately not alone, as even here in the United States there are voices of insanity as well.  The New York Times in a VIDEO statement is calling for the United States to prepare for a fight with China, and generally prepare for “future war”, what ever that means (https://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000010573151/america-must-prepare-for-the-future-of-war.html).  I guess two things we can tell for certain are that the New York Times does understand that they are literally DEAD, since they are now releasing videos.  And that the New York Times REALLY does not understand MATH.  If we drafted every single human being that officially lives in the United States that would get us 330 Million people (we will need those 300 year olds recently found to be receiving social security).  Then we would only be outnumbered by the Chinese four to 1!  I am not sure they understand what they are asking for.   

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.