The Seventh Week of Ordinary Time
Welcome to the Seventh week of Ordinary Time.
Please
open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional “O Lord
Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please don’t burn us, Don’t grill or
toast your flock,
Don’t put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
Thank you for that slow rendition as I limped to the pulpit I tell you what folks this change of weather is playing havoc with my joints. Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 9 page 116 where the prophets say …
Gumby: Well
I think TV's killed real entertainment. In the old days we used to make our own
fun. At Christmas parties I used to strike myself on the head repeatedly with
blunt instruments while crooning. (sings) 'Only make believe,
I love you, (hits himself on head with bricks) Only make
believe that you love me, (hits himself) Others find peace of
mind...'
(Cut to a
swish nightclub. Compare enters.)
Open your hymnal to page 26 and join us in singing “I’m So
Worried” Verse 3
I'm so worried about modern technology, I'm so
worried about all the things
That they dump in the sea, I'm so worried about it, Worried about
it, worried, worried, worried
I'm so worried about everything that can go wrong,
I'm so worried about whether people like this song,
I'm so worried about this very next verse, It isn't the best that
I've got
Now please
open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 32 page 122 where the prophets say …
(Close up
on a sign saying 'Harley Street'. Stirring music. Mix through to interior of a
smart, plush, ever so expensive Harley Street consulting room. The music swells
and fades. Knocking at door, a short pause, then T.F. Gumby enters, backwards.)
T. F.
Gumby: Doctor!
Doctor! DOCTOR! (he goes up to the antique desk and bangs the bell
violently; he smashes the intercom and generally breaks the desk up) Doctor!
Doctor! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! Doctor! Doctor! Where is the Doctor?
(A pause.
Then another door opens and another Gumby appears.)
Specialist: Hello!
T. F.
Gumby: Are you
the' brain specialist?
Specialist: Hello!
T. F.
Gumby: Are you
the brain specialist?
Specialist: No, no, I am not the brain
specialist. No, no, I am not... Yes. Yes I am.
T. F.
Gumby: My brain
hurts!
Specialist: Well let's take a look at it,
Mr. Gumby.
(Gumby
specialist starts to pull up Gumby's sweater.)
T. F.
Gumby: No, no,
no, my brain in my head. (specialist thumps him on the head)
Specialist: It will have to come out.
T. F.
Gumby: Out? Of
my head?
Specialist: Yes! All the bits of it. Nurse!
Nurse! (a nurse enters) Nurse, take Mr. Gumby to a brain
surgeon.
Homily Parishioners,
here we are at the end of the calendar year so it is time to determine “The
International Twit of the Year”. There
really is no more obvious choice so the judges wasted no time and awarded the
trophy to Lord Keir Starmer. So what
prey tell has Lord Starmer done to deserve this honor you may ask, well allow
me to lay out just his most recent efforts toward the prize.
In a stunningly
stupid move the Starmer government arrested a Yorkshireman for allowing a photo
to be taken showing him holding a shotgun … while he was on vacation … in The
United States ( https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/business/this-is-why-elon-musk-reacts-to-arrest-of-yorkshireman-over-florida-gun-photo-5423724). If
it is illegal to hold a gun does that mean actors are next of Lord Starmer’s
Hit parade? Only time will tell.
Meanwhile, a woman
in Lord Starmer’s Britain had the audacity to speak out on social media and
complain about the massive immigration numbers and their ever increasing effect
on crime. Naturally Lord Starmer had her
thrown in Prison. But not satisfied, the
Starmer land teachers unions have also expelled the woman’s daughter from
school .. for being her daughter ( https://www.zerohedge.com/political/uk-girl-barred-school-over-imprisoned-mothers-racist-tweet)! These
injustices are not alone as now more than 10,000 people have been arrested for social
media posts while knife crimes go unsolved (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/britains-speech-gulag-exposed-10000-arrested-last-year-social-media-posts). Again
all the while murders are walking the streets of Britain.
Needless to say
some people in Britain are staring to feel that they and their family have been
ruined by the media “programming” on BBC and what it is doing to their kids (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/11/19/bbcs-pro-trans-bias-damaged-our-children-ofcom-parents-uk/). Apparently Lord Starmer is NOT satisfied
with destroying on generation of Brits, he has already started in on the next
one.
But the final
reason why Lord Starmer is the hands down winner of this year’s Twit of the
Year competition is because of yet another decision recently made. It seems that Lord Starmer and his cronies in
the “Health Care System” have decided to “withhold” their data on COVID jab
linked excess deaths in order to … wait for it … “Avoid bereaved “distress or
anger” (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2025/11/15/government-withholding-data-covid-jab-link-excess-deaths/)! That
must be some VERY interesting Data, but somehow I doubt that withholding the
info will reduce the “distress or Anger”.
Amen
Please
join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t lightly
poach us, Or Baste us with hot fat,
Don’t fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in
a vat,
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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