The Third Week of Silly Time, Year Six/Seven
Welcome to the Third week of “Silly Time”. Year Six/Seven
Please
open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional “O Lord
Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please don’t burn us, Don’t grill or
toast your flock,
Don’t put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
Welcome to the Third Week of “Silly Time”, The six week period between when the gifts of the prophets were bestowed upon Britain and when the same gifts were poured out upon the colonies. This is a time of solemn introspection and reflection on our lives and their direction.
Thank you for that spiritual rendition I appreciated the
drone as I contemplated my bad habits.
Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode19 page 254
where the prophets say …
Host: Excuse me a moment.
Man: Dung,
sir.
Man:
Your dung. Three hundredweight of heavy droppings. Where do you want it?
Host: I didn't order any dung.
Man: Yes you did, sir. You ordered it through the Book of
the Month Club.
Host: Book of the Month Club?
Man: That's right, sir. You get 'Gone with the Wind', 'Les
Miserables' by Victor Hugo, 'The French Lieutenant's Woman' and with
every third book you get dung.
Host:
I didn't know that when I signed the form.
Man:
Well, no, no. It wasn't on the form - they found it wasn't good for business. Anyway,
we've got three hundredweight of dung in the van. Where do you want it?
Host: Well, I don't think we do. We've no garden.
Man: Well, it'll all fit in here - it's top-class excrement.
Host: You can't put it in here, we've having a dinner party!
Man: 'Salright. I'll put it on the telly.
Please open your hymnal to page 8 and join us in singing “The Money Song verse 1”.
I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pajamas
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge
I've got lots of lovely lira
Now the deutschmark's getting dearer
And my dollar bills could buy the Brooklyn Bridge
There is ... nothing quite as wonderful as money!
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash!
Some people say it's folly, but I'd rather have the lolly
With money you can make a splash!
Now please
open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 24 page 9 where the prophets say …
|
Crackpot |
This is an
example of the sort of abuse we get all the time from ignorant people. I
inherited this religion from my father, an ex-used-car salesman and part-time
window-box, and I am very proud to be in charge of the first religion with
free gifts. You get this luxury tea-trolley with every new enrollment. (pictures
of this and the subsequent gifts) In addition to this you can win a
three-piece lounge suite, this luxury caravan, a weekend for two with Peter
Bonetti and tonights star prize, the entire Norwich City Council. |
|
Curtains
go up to reveal the council. Terrific 'ooh' from an audience. Bad organ
chords played by a nude man. |
|
|
Crackpot |
And
remember with only eight scoring draws you can win a bishopric in a see of
your own choice. You see we have a much more modern approach to religion. |
|
Cut to
a person in church. They are walking past a pillar. They take out some money
and put it in a collecting box. A sign on the box says 'For the rich'. We
hear the money going in, then it moves off, along pipes, falling down;
eventually it comes down a small pipe and lands with a tinkle in Crackpot's
ashtray. He tries the money with his teeth, pops it into his pocket, and
finishes reading... |
|
|
Crackpot |
Blessed is
Arthur Crackpot and all his subsidiaries Ltd. You see, in our Church we have
a lot more fun. |
Homily: Parishioners,
further news has broken regarding the situation in old “blighty” so I decided
to give it another week of coverage.
Those areas of England already completely over run by migrants continue
their downward spiral toward complete collapse.
In Birmingham for example flying the Union Jack or Cross of St George
will get you sent to jail, but the city flies that flags of: Pakistan, Somalia
and Palestine (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/fly-british-flags-uk-and-face-jail-pakistan-and-palestine-flags-get-pass).
As things spiral out of control the Labor Government continues to try
and cover up or deny the reality. This
week it was proven that ministers are literally fighting in court to try and
suppress migrant crime stats (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/they-know-it-would-trigger-mass-unrest). As the vermin know it would trigger wide
spread mass unrest. Lets see how long
they can hide the truth, or maybe the migrants will suddenly stop the
crimes?
Meanwhile, back in
the “occupied territories” of Britain, it turns out that the migrants are
bringing their third world ‘habits’ with them to “blighty”. Now teachers are discovering as students come
back from summer break that children as young as FIVE have been forced into
MARRIAGE during the “holiday” (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/barbaric-children-under-five-being-subjected-forced-marriage-britain).
NOW the teachers are afraid what will happen over future breaks. Unfortunately we already know the answer to
that fear.
Finally, it was
leaked this week that the BBC offered “solidarity” to its foreign born workers
after the recent attempted beheading of a Brit by an African migrant caught on
camera (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/illegal-migrant-tried-saw-mans-head-you-wont-believe-what-bbc-did-next)! Too
bad they could not find any “solidarity”, or even “support” for that matter, to
the native born workers at the BBC for having to watch a fellow Brit almost get
decapitated. But then again, when you
have decided to “replace” the original population, I guess there is not
sympathy for their concerns or feelings to be shown.
Amen
Please
join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t lightly
poach us, Or Baste us with hot fat,
Don’t fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in
a vat,
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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