Fifth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Fifth week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that non groveling rendition it warmed my heart as I "boom tubed" to the pulpit.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 22 page 303 where the prophets say: 

Radio Announcer: And now the BBC is proud to present a brand new radio drama series, "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots." Part One: The Beginning.

Man's voice: Yoo arrr Mary, Queen of Scots?

Woman's voice: I am!

(sound of violent blows being dealt, things being smashed, awful crunching noises, bones being broken, and other bodily harm being inflicted. All of this accompanied by screaming from the woman.)

Announcer: Stay tuned for part two of the Radio Four Production of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", coming up...almost immediately.

(music then sound of saw cutting, and other violent sounds as before, with the woman screaming. Suddenly it is silent.)

Man's voice: I think she's dead.

Woman's voice: No I'm not!

(sounds of physical harm and screaming start again. then music fades up and out)

Open your hymnal to page 36 and join us in singing “Always look on the Bright Side of Life”  Verse 3

 So always look on the bright side of death,  (Whistle)

A-Just before you draw your terminal breath,  (Whistle)

Life's a piece of shit (Oooh),  When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true (Oooh)
You'll see it's all a show (Oooh),  Keep 'em laughin' as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you (Oooh)

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 45 page 334 where the prophets say …

Nurse	Oh doctor, I've just shot another patient. I don't think there's any point in your seeing him.
Doctor	You didn't kill him, did you?
Nurse	'Fraid so.
Doctor	You mustn't kill them, nurse.
Nurse	Oh, I'm sorry doctor. It was just on the spur of the moment. Rather silly really.
	She exits, taking a sword from the wall. Through the next bit of the scene we hear screams off.
Williams	I'm sorry about the carpet, doctor.
Doctor	Mr Williams, I'm afraid I can't give you any marks, so I won't be able to recommend you for hospital. Tell you what - I'll stop the bleeding - but strictly speaking I shouldn't even do that on marks like these...
	The nurse enters covered in blood.
Nurse	There are no more patients now, doctor.
Doctor	Oh well, let's go and have lunch, then.

 

Homily  Recently our politicians belief in the common citizens stupidity has been on full display.  Here in America, The Biden Harris Administration has been figuring out a new ways to waste money because apparently they do not believe that Inflation exists, let alone is a problem.  One of the more astonishingly stupid ideas they have cooked up involves paying reparations (https://www.sfexaminer.com/news/politics/city-reparations-office-on-hold-due-to-breed-budget-cuts/article_43e3bf8c-939a-11ee-8576-5710e9ed4db9.html) over “systemic racism” in America.  However, in Kalifornia their massive budget woes have placed such plans on hold, apparently you can give other people’s money away too fast!

Meanwhile, over in Germany, their current government is discovering the problems left by Angela Merkel, namely unfettered immigration and now many people are openly talking about “Replacement Theory” (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/germany-after-berlin-pool-closes-over-sexual-assaults-migrants-lifeguard-association) Unfortunately for them, now that the illegals are in, getting them under control (or out) is proving impossible.  Who could have thought such possible? 

Finally, the pre-eminent living Historian points out how the current administration are in the process of turning America into a Third World country (https://amgreatness.com/2023/04/10/fiddling-america-away/ ).  The “Dumbocrats” desire to destroy the idea that America is exceptional in any way is proceeding well.  The next 11 months can not pass quickly enough. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.