Week Three of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Third week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spirited rendition on a cold day like this every little bit helps warm the altar area.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 17 page 222 where the prophets say: 

Second City Gent	Quite agree. Quite agree.
Mr Leavey	Thank you very much. Thank you. (he shakes hands with them in an extraordinary way)
Mr Wiggin	(at door) It opens doors, I'm telling you.
Voice Over	Let's have a look at that handshake again in slow motion.
	CAPTION: 'BBC TV ACTION REPLAY' They do the handshake again, only slowly.
First Voice Over	What other ways are there of recognizing a mason?
	Shot from camera concealed in a car so we get reactions of passers-by. A busy city street - i.e. Threadneedle Street. In amongst the throng four city gents are leaping along with their trousers round their ankles. They are wearing bowler hats and pinstripes. Another city street or another part of the same street. Two city gents, with trousers rolled up to the knee, approach each other and go into the most extraordinary handshake which involves rolling on the floor etc.
Second Voice Over	Having once identified a mason immediate steps must be taken to isolate him from the general public. Having accomplished that it is now possible to cure him of these unfortunate masonic tendencies through the use of behavioural psychotherapy. (we see a cartoon city gent locked into a cell) In this treatment the patient is rewarded for the correct response and punished for the wrong one. Let us begin. Would you like to give up being a mason? Think carefully. Think. Think.
Cartoon City Gent	No.
	A large hammer attacks the city gent.
Voice	No? That's wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! No! No! No! Bad! Bad!

 

Open the Blue insert in your hymnal page K and join us in singing “Knights of the Round Table” verse 1

We're Knights of the Round Table,  We dance when ere we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes,  With footwork impeccable

We dine well here in Camelot,  We eat ham and jam and spam a lot

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 42 page 285 where the prophets say …

Mrs Elizabeth III: (Terry J.) Yes, repeats or war films. It really makes you want to micturate.

Mrs Mock Tudor: People on television treat the general public like idiots.

Mrs Elizabeth III: Well we are idiots.

Mrs Mock Tudor: Oh no we are not!

Mrs Elizabeth III: Well I am.

Mrs Mock Tudor: How do you know you're an idiot?

Mrs Elizabeth III: Oh, I can show you!

Mrs Mock Tudor: How?

Mrs Elizabeth III: Look!

Chief Executive (Terry J.): You see the public are idiots ... (he has a conference tag on his lapel which reads `Chief TV Planner'; he turns from the window to a conference table, piled with drinks) Yes ... you might just as well show them the last five miles of the M2 ... they'd watch it, eh?

 

Homily  Parishioners, as “Bidenflation” tears family budgets apart, some look to recent gains made by unionized workers in their pay checks.  While 25% over the course of a contract is indeed a fine increase, the scope and scale of price increases dwarfs even these respectable gains. 

To start this reflection of food prices let me look at the staple of most of the world’s population - Rice.   As a commodity, Rice has been “limiting up” for some time.  This term refers to the maximum limit a price can rise or fall in a given trading session (https://www.cnbc.com/2023/04/19/global-rice-shortage-is-set-to-be-the-largest-in-20-years-heres-why.html?taid=644e5849e664fc0001f7a1d5&utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter).  Since all of Asia and much of Africa all depend on Rice as their staple these prices place more than half of the world in danger of not being able to afford their basic food stuff. 

Meanwhile, it is not just rice that is in short supply.  Due to both “Green” imbeciles who think specific animals are bad for the environment and general shortages caused by high prices, protein is also pricing out of sight for most people.  Into this situation some companies see an opportunity and have begun creating lab grown protein and now this “Frankenmeat” has received permission for use (https://www.zerohedge.com/technology/lab-grown-meat-gets-green-light-us-menus)!  Expect some “clever” marketing name and to see this at your local restaurants soon.   

Of course for the truly desperate you can always simply swing by your favorite restaurant or grocer and check around back for your meal options.  It seems that “dumpster diving” is become a regular element in many people’s (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/cash-strapped-consumers-resort-dumpster-dining-save-grocery-bill) larder stocking options.  That is of course until such activity is declared illegal in your next of the woods. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.