Week Three of Silly Time

 

Welcome to the Third Week of “Silly Time”, The six week period between when the gifts of the prophets were bestowed upon Britain and when the same gifts were poured out upon the colonies.  This is a time of solemn introspection and reflection on our lives and their direction. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spiritual rendition I appreciated the drone as I contemplated my bad habits.  

Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode19 page 254 where the prophets say …

Host: Excuse me a moment.

Man: Dung, sir.

Host: What?

Man: We've got your dung.

Host: What dung?

Man: Your dung. Three hundredweight of heavy droppings. Where do you want it? 

Host: I didn't order any dung.

Man: Yes you did, sir. You ordered it through the Book of the Month Club.

Host: Book of the Month Club?

Man: That's right, sir. You get 'Gone with the Wind', 'Les Miserables' by Victor Hugo, 'The French Lieutenant's Woman' and with every third book you get dung.

Host: I didn't know that when I signed the form.

Man: Well, no, no. It wasn't on the form - they found it wasn't good for business. Anyway, we've got three hundredweight of dung in the van. Where do you want it?

Host: Well, I don't think we do. We've no garden.

Man: Well, it'll all fit in here - it's top-class excrement.

Host: You can't put it in here, we've having a dinner party!

Man: 'Salright. I'll put it on the telly.

Please open your hymnal to page 8 and join us in singing “The Money Song verse 1”. 

I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pajamas
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge
I've got lots of lovely lira
Now the deutschmark's getting dearer
And my dollar bills could buy the Brooklyn Bridge
There is ...  nothing quite as wonderful as money!
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash!
Some people say it's folly, but I'd rather have the lolly
With money you can make a splash!

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 24 page 9 where the prophets say …

Crackpot	This is an example of the sort of abuse we get all the time from ignorant people. I inherited this religion from my father, an ex-used-car salesman and part-time window-box, and I am very proud to be in charge of the first religion with free gifts. You get this luxury tea-trolley with every new enrollment. (pictures of this and the subsequent gifts) In addition to this you can win a three-piece lounge suite, this luxury caravan, a weekend for two with Peter Bonetti and tonights star prize, the entire Norwich City Council.
	Curtains go up to reveal the council. Terrific 'ooh' from an audience. Bad organ chords played by a nude man.
Crackpot	And remember with only eight scoring draws you can win a bishopric in a see of your own choice. You see we have a much more modern approach to religion.
	Cut to a person in church. They are walking past a pillar. They take out some money and put it in a collecting box. A sign on the box says 'For the rich'. We hear the money going in, then it moves off, along pipes, falling down; eventually it comes down a small pipe and lands with a tinkle in Crackpot's ashtray. He tries the money with his teeth, pops it into his pocket, and finishes reading...
Crackpot	Blessed is Arthur Crackpot and all his subsidiaries Ltd. You see, in our Church we have a lot more fun.

Homily  Parishioners, In what appeared at first to be a growing trend of Legacy Media  starting to buck the Democans “water carrier” role this past week several of the Legacy types started actually discussing the great replacement of Americans that the Democans and their international masters have been performing these last four years.  By way of a recap here is an article from Zerohedge that explains how the “replacement” took place (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/great-replacement-job-shock-13-million-native-born-americans-just-lost-their-jobs-replaced).  The article includes the current “Legacy” false narrative that the Illegals are the only thing “saving” us from even further inflation, so we can pick either illegal immigrants or even worse inflation. 

Unfortunately, upon investigating the “coverage” of the replacement by these legacy types it becomes clear that their lying ways continue as always.  The better of the two is a piece by Bloomberg which admits that the natural born Americans are losing jobs and the illegals are gaining, but this is “OK” as otherwise the U.S.  working Age population would decline (https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2024-04-11/without-immigrants-us-working-age-population-would-shrink).  Meanwhile the Wall Street Journal took an even less honest stand on how “immigrants” ‘remade’ the U. S. work force (https://www.wsj.com/economy/how-immigration-remade-the-u-s-labor-force-716c18ee?mod=us-news_lead_story).  Perhaps when these legacy types start losing their jobs to the illegals then the remainder will realize the problem. 

Finally, in what at first I thought was a positive event a Federal Appeals court decision determined that Illegal immigrants do NOT have the 2^nd Amendment Rights of a citizen (https://www.foxnews.com/us/illegal-migrants-do-not-have-gun-rights-protected-2nd-amendment-federal-appeals-court).   However, upon reflection perhaps the “Leftards” who so desperately want to disarm America have finally hit upon a way to do so.  As the “Leftards” replace legal Americans with illegal, they are also replacing people with a legal right to arm and defend themselves with people who do not have that right.  Literally, “two birds” with “one stone”, perhaps a brilliant, if evil and treasonous, plan. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.