The Eighth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Eighth week of Ordinary Time.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that soothing recital it was good for my nerves after this week.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 7 page 85 where the prophets say …

American Voice	(very resonant) The Universe consists of a billion, billion galaxies... 77,000,000,000 miles across, and every galaxy is made up of a billion, zillion stars and around these stars circle a billion planets, and of all of these planets the greenest and the pleasantest is the planet Earth, in the system of Sol, in the Galaxy known as the Milky Way ... And it was to this world that creatures of an alien planet came ... to conquer and destroy the very heart of civilization...
	Mix into close-up of railway station sign: 'New Pudsey'. Pull out to mid-shot of a couple walking towards camera. They are middle-aged. He (Graham) wears a cricket blazer and grey flannels and a carrier bag. She (Eric) wears a fussy print dress.
American Voice	(gently) It was a day like any other and Mr and Mrs Samuel Brainsample were a perfectly ordinary couple, leading perfectly ordinary lives - the sort of people to whom nothing extraordinary ever happened, and not the kind of people to be the centre of one of the most astounding incidents in the history of mankind ... So let's forget about them and follow instead the destiny of this man ... (camera pans off them; they both look disappointed; camera picks up instead a smart little business man, in bowler, briefcase and pinstripes) ... Harold Potter, gardener, and tax official, first victim of Creatures from another Planet.
	Weird electronic music. Sinister atmosphere. Follow him out of station. Cut-away to flying saucer, over day skyline. Back to Potter as he walks up suburban road. Back to flying saucer. It bleeps as if it has seen its prey and changes direction. Cut back to Potter just about to open his front gate. Shot from over the other side of the road. Cut to flying saucer sending down ray. Potter freezes . . . shivers and turns into a Scotsman with kilt, and red beard. His hand jerks out in front of him and he spins round and scuttles up road in fast motion, to the accompaniment of bagpipe music. Cut to close-up of newspaper with banner headline: 'Man turns into a Scotsman'.
Newsvendor's Voice	Read all abaht it! Read all abaht it! Man turns into Scotsman!

Open your hymnal to page 15 and join us in singing “Yangtse Song”  Verse 1

We love the Yangtse,  Yangtse Kiang
Flowing from Yushu,  Down to Ching Kiang
Passing though Chung King,  Wuhan and Hoo Kow
3000 miles,,  But it gets there somehow
Oh! Szechuan's the province,  And Shanghai is the port
And Yangtse is the river,  That we all support

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 32 page 126 where the prophets say …

Newsreader	The Minister for not listening to people toured Batley today to investigate allegations of victimization in home-loan improvement grants, made last week (photo behind changes to close up of another faceless minister) by the Shadow Minister for judging people at first sight to be marginally worse than they actually are. (photo changes to exterior of the Home Office) At the Home Office, the Minister for inserting himself in between chairs and walls in men's clubs, was at his desk after a short illness. He spent the morning dealing with the Irish situation and later in the day had long discussions with the Minister for running upstairs two at a time, flinging the door open and saying 'Ha, ha! Caught you, Mildred'. (photo of the Houses of Parliament) In the Commons there was another day of heated debate on the third reading of the Trade Practices Bill. Mr Roland Penrose, the Under-Secretary for making deep growling noises grrr, launched a bitter personal attack on the ex-Minister for delving deep into a black satin bag and producing a tube of Euthymol toothpaste. Later in the debate the Junior Minister for being frightened by any kind of farm machinery, challenged the Under-Secretary of State for hiding from Terence Rattigan to produce the current year's trading figures, as supplied by the Department of stealing packets of bandages from the self-service counter at Timothy Whites and selling them again at a considerable profit. Parliament rose at 11:30, and, crawling along a dark passageway into the old rectory (the camera starts to track slowly into the newsreader's face so that it is eventually filling the screen) broke down the door to the serving hatch, painted the spare room and next weekend I think they'll be able to make a start on the boy's bedroom, while Amy and Roger, up in London for a few days, go to see the mysterious Mr Grenville.
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'TODAY IN PARLIAMENT HAS NOW BECOME THE CLASSIC SERIAL'
Newsreader	He in turn has been revealed by D'Arcy as something less than an honest man. Sybil feels once again a resurgence of her old affection and she and Balreau return to her little house in Clermont-Ferrand, the kind of two-up, two-down house that most French workers throughout the European Community are living in today.
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'THE CLASSIC SERIAL HAS NOW BECOME THE TUESDAY DOCUMENTARY'

Homily My apologies parishioners, due to a complicated and long weekend I failed to post this week’s service on time.  Here is the belated Homily. 

Fraud has become a serious issue now that the reckoning has begun from the four years of internationalists running wild so I thought that it would be a good time to highlight some of the more intriguing criminality by illegals in various countries. 

I thought we should start with the personal level so a story recently broke where Lord Starmer’s Britain has been caught creating “reeducation camps” for misogyny practicing high school students in schools (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c9qednjzwv1o).  No open border issues here right, but when your teachers start complaining even the leftists have to act. 

Continuing the theme of odd problems from the presence of illegals we move over to Kalifornia where their community colleges are having a serious problem, namely that student aid fraud is becoming a major problem (https://edsource.org/2024/financial-aid-fraud-is-growing-at-californias-community-colleges/721409).  Just wait until the Trump administration gets wind of this and starts sending in the accountants! 

Finally, it has recently been discovered that the pseudo Biden administration chose to betray actual Americans and illegally gave FHA loans to Illegal immigrants (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/generational-betrayal-hud-reveals-biden-gave-illegal-aliens-fha-backed-mortgages)!  So I guess all the millennials and Gen Z’s that can not afford to buy a home can thank Pseudo Biden for prioritizing Illegals instead of Americans.  The Democans must REALLY be planning to allow the illegals to vote in future elections. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.