The Ninth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Ninth week of Ordinary Time.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that rollicking rendition it was calming in troubled waters.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 12 page 151 where the prophets say …

Himmler

How do you do there squire, also I am not Minehead lad but I in Peterborough, Lincolnshire was given birth to, but stay in Peterborough Lincolnshire house all during war, owing to nasty running sores, and was unable to go in the streets play football or go to Nürnberg. I am retired vindow cleaner and pacifist, without doing war crimes (hurriedly corrects himself) tch tch tch, and am glad England win World Cup - Bobby Charlton, Martin Peters - and eating lots of chips and fish and hole in the toads, and Dundee cakes on Piccadilly line. Don't you know old chap I was head of Gestapo for ten years. Five years! No, no, nein, I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke.

Landlady

Oooh, Mr Bimmler, you do have us on. (A telephone rings) Oh excuse me I must go and answer that. (leaves the room)

Open your hymnal to page 4 and join us in singing “Holzfaller Song”  Verse 1

Ich wollte... ein Holzfäller sein! Ja, ein Holzfäller! Der von Baum zu Baum hüpft, die auf den mächtigen Wassern von Südtirol hinabschwimmen.

 Die gigantische Rotbuche! Die Lärche! Die Tanne! Die kräftige Kiefer! Der Duft von frisch gefälltem Holz!

 Das Geräusch der stürzenden mächtigen Bäume! An meiner Seite, mein liebes Mädel... Und wir würden singen, singen, singen...

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 34 page 155 where the prophets say …

Gulliver	I have seen an agent in the town. My life is in danger.
Pither	Danger, Clodagh?
Gulliver	Stalin has always hated me.
Pither	No one hates you, Clodagh.
Gulliver	I will not let myself fall into the hands of these scum.
Pither	I think you should go and have a little lie down, my dear. There is a busy day tomorrow of concerts and promotional tours.
Gulliver	I. One of the founders of the greatest nation on earth. I! Whom Lenin has called his greatest friend.

Homily Hello Parishioners, I thought that this week we should look at a bit science that has been in the news of late.  Recently here in America in the realm of “Criminal Science” it was discovered that many of the crime stats in America were skewed by officials officially classifying people of other races as “whites” in order to make the results appear as if more crimes were being committed by “whites” and less by other races (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/down-racist-rabbit-hole-why-are-so-many-arrested-minorities-booked-white).  In the vein of “What Will they think of next?”  Perhaps they can classify males as females to reduce the bad reputation males receive for committing most crimes. 

Our Next story comes from the realm of genetics … maybe, or is it “Political Science”?  Recently Danish state TV ran a commercial on a “science” show telling “whites” to date other races (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/danish-commercial-warns-white-citizens-about-breeding-other-whites).  In particular the commercial warns against “inbreeding” and extolls the virtues of “expanding the gene pool”.  I know that Denmark is a small population country, but its not that small.  Perhaps this is some campaign to try and “integrate” the “migrants” into Danish Society.  If so there must be a better way than lying to your youth. 

Our final story will turn to Archeology.  Over in Britain a couple of years ago British Archeologists were quite excited to declare that a recent archeological find, and potentially the oldest ever found in Britain, was determined to be a woman of “Sub Saharan Origin”, the so called “Beachy Head Woman”.  Unfortunately for the attention seeking Archeologists it turns out that the only “determination” going on was in their heads.  When the remains were analyzed for their DNA, it was determined that “Beachy Head Woman” was actually a blonde haired, blue eyed Celtic female (https://archaeologymag.com/2025/12/mystery-of-the-beachy-head-woman-resolved/).  I am certain that it will not be long before some new “interpretation” will decide that Blonde Hair and Blue eyes themselves are of “Sub Saharan” origin.  If they can not be correct, they will scientifically redefine “right”. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.