The Sixteenth Week of Ordinary Time

 Welcome to the Sixteenth week of Ordinary Time.  Year Six

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

I do hope you have all been enjoying the string of unseasonably warm days we have been having.  I know I have.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 10 page 130 where the prophets say …

Chairman	Yes, well, that seems to me to be very sensible Mr Phipps. I can't pretend that this library hasn't had its difficulties ... Mr Robertson, your predecessor, an excellent librarian, savaged three people last week and had to be destroyed.
Gorilla	I'm sorry sir.
Chairman	Oh, no, don't be sorry. You see, I don't believe that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, and that's been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.
Vicar	And also, they're much more permissive. Pumas keep Hank Janson on open shelves...
Chairman	Yes. Yes. Yes. (a maniacal look in his eyes) Yes, yes Mr Phipps. I love seeing the customers when they come in to complain about some book being damaged, and ask to see the chief librarian and then ... you should see their faces when the proud beast leaps from his tiny office, snatches the book from their hands and sinks his fangs into their soft er ... (collects himself) Mr Phipps ... Kong! You can be our next librarian - you're proud, majestic and fierce enough ... will you do it?
Gorilla	I ... don't think I can sir.
Vicar	Why not?
Gorilla	I.. I'm not really a gorilla.
Vicar	Eh?
Gorilla	I'm a librarian in a skin.
Chairman	Why this deception?
Gorilla	Well, they said it was the best way to get the job.
Chairman	Get out, Mr Librarian Phipps, seeing as you're not a gorilla, but only dressed up as one, trying to deceive us in order to further your career ... (gorilla leaves) Next. (a dog comes in) Ah. Mr Pattinson ... Sit!

Open the Blue insert in your hymnal page K and join us in singing “Knights of the Round Table” verse 1

We're Knights of the Round Table,  We dance when ere we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes,  With footwork impeccable

We dine well here in Camelot,  We eat ham and jam and spam a lot

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 28 page 70 where the prophets say …

Nazi Fish	Welcome aboard, Britisher pig. Quite a little surprise, ja? But perhaps you would be so kind as to tell us all you know about certain allied shipping routes, ja? Come on, talk!
	The Nazi fish is swallowed by a fish with an RAF emblem.
British Fish	Hello, Fritz. Tables seem to have turned, old chap, let's see how you like a bit of your own medicine, eh? Come on, Fritz, now tell us - tell us about...
	The British fish is swallowed by a Chinese fish.
Chinese Fish	Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic.
Second Voice	Am very sorry, comrade commando, but we have just picked up capitalist ship on ladar scanner.
	The Chinese fish bites the underside of a large ship. Film of big liner sinking in storm. General panic and dramatic music.

Homily Parishioners, last week I thought I had brought out all the Epstein related news, but this “energizer bunny” is the topic that just keeps on giving.  This week produced a deluge of impacts from the dead man.  One major impact was that Larry Summers is now OUT at Harvard (https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2026/2/25/summers-retire-harvard-epstein/).  He has been removed effective immediately.  So much for Harvard’s president.  Earlier this week, Bill Gates attempted to “get ahead” of his connection to Epstein (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/i-did-nothing-illicit-bill-gates-begins-apology-tour-over-his-epstein-ties).  Bill chose to start with an “apology” for his Epstein ties, but he maintained he did “nothing wrong”.  This of course immediately begged the question, if you did nothing wrong, why are you apologizing? 

Naturally the American Media is doing its usual nothing about the story by turning every impact into an attack on Trump.  As an example of their continued professional turpitude The New York Times has recently been shielding Reid Hoffman for his Epstein ties while attempting to say conservative Peter Theil and Elon Musk were “in bed” with Epstein (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/david-sacks-exposes-new-york-times-shielding-reid-hoffman-epstein-files).  This lie is particularly galling because Reid Hoffman actually introduced both conservatives to Epstein in some sick attempt to draw them into the “pedophile elite”. 

Not only did the story grow wings here in the United States this week, but it also took flight over in Europe.  The World Economic Forum’s boss Borge Brende quit due to the pressures of the ongoing Epstein revelations (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/world-economic-forum-boss-borge-brende-quits-epstein-fallout-deepens).  In an even more stunning development, the former Prime Minister of Norway, Thorbjorn Jagland, attempted to commit suicide in response to the police investigation of his dealings with Epstein (https://inyheter.no/24/02/2026/thorbjorn-jagland-forsokte-a-ta-sitt-eget-liv-innlagt-pa-sykehus/).  What do you think the Polymarket odds are that there will another week of such stories next week?  I certainly hope so! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.