The Second Week of our SUPER time, "Pythonalia Honoraria" Carol Cleveland

 

Welcome to the Second week of our SUPER time, “Pythonalia Honoraria” where we will spend four weeks celebrating the four Honorary Pythons.  This week, week two, we will celebrate Carol Cleveland, who appeared in all four seasons of the tele show and in all of the Python Movies as well.    Year Six

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 5 page 63 where the prophets say …

She	Oh, oh, oh Bevis, should we?
Bevis	Oh Dora. Why not?
She	Be gentle with me.
	Cut to film montage. Collapsing factory chimney in reverse motion; pan up tall soaring poplars in the wind; waves crashing; fish in shallow water fountains; exploding fireworks; volcano erupting with lava; rocket taking off, express train going into a tunnel; dam bursting; battleship broadside; lion leaping through flaming hoop; Richard Nixon smiling; milking a cow; planes refuelling in mid-air; Women's Institute applauding; tossing the caber; plane falling in flames; tree crashing to the ground; the lead shot tower collapsing (normal motion). Cut back to the girl in bed.
She	(smoking) Oh Bevis, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?
	We see Bevis, with small projector.
Bevis	Just one more, dear.
She	Oh.

Open your hymnal to page 9 and join us in singing “The Philosopher Song” verse 2

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away,  Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, And Hobbes was fond of his dram.

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 36 page 181 where the prophets say …

Second Assistant	There's a 'Bridget - Queen of the Whip'.
Nid	Yes...
Second Assistant	Or 'Naughty Nora'... or there's this one: 'Doug, Bob and Gordon Visit the Ark Royal'. Or there's 'Sister Teresa - The Spanking Nun'.
Nid	Mmmm... I see ... you don't have anything specially about Devon and Cornwall?
Second Assistant	No. I'm afraid not, sir.
Nid	The one I was really after was Arthur Hotchkiss's 'Devonshire Country Churches'.
Second Assistant	Well how about this, sir: 'Bum Biters'.
Nid	No ... not really ... I don't suppose you have any general surveys of English Church architecture?
Second Assistant	No, it's not really our line, sir.
Nid	No, I see. Well, never mind I'll just take the 'Lord Lieutenant in Nylons' then, and these two copies of 'Piggie Parade'. Thank you.
Second Assistant	Right, sir.

Homily Parishioners, recently European governments have been oppressing good Christians for the basest and most insipid reasons.  I thought it high time to bring these atrocities to your attention.  Starting with the ridiculous, in Padua Italy, local Muslim leaders have taken to demanding that a local deli remove a plastic pig display in their store window (https://www.ilgiornale.it/news/attualit/laicit-sotto-tiro-oggi-maiale-domani-cos-altro-2600961.html).  Their call is based on their religious beliefs concerning the animal and they claim that seeing an obviously fake pig in a window of a store is an afront to their religion.  However, it turns out that there are several Muslim employees of the Deli and they oppose such calls countering that it has nothing to do with their ability to practice their own religion! 

Meanwhile, in a more serious note up in Sweden, the government has decided to remove two daughters from a family (https://adfinternational.org/campaign/bring-girls-home).  The problem started when the older daughter (12) wanted a cell phone and the parents said no.  So the child called the police and claimed that she and her younger sister were being “abused”.  The police responded and the children were taken into protected custody.  The elder daughter immediately recanted her claim and explained that she was just upset and wanted a phone.  But now the “authorities” were involved so they decided to investigate.  In the end it was determined that the parents exhibited “religious extremism” and the kids removed more permanently.  The reason the family was classified as “extremists” was that they went to church three times a week.  So apparently the state is now counting and there is trouble if you make them count too high! 

Finally, no discussion of the messed up nature of Europe would be complete without looking at Britain.  Here Parishioners we have an actual real call to religious action (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/no-laughing-matter-john-cleese-declares-im-afraid-they-are-going-have-arrest-me)!  The Prophet John Cleese, one of our own beloved religious founders, is in danger of being arrested by Lord Starmer and his government for daring to comment about the mangled state of affairs that Britain has become under Lord Starmer’s mismanagement.  So while 12 years olds get arrested for protecting their younger sisters from migrant attacks and the migrants allowed to walk free, John Cleese has to fear being arrested for pointing out the ludicrous nature of Britain under Lord Starmer, Prime Minister Gumby at his finest!

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.