The Seventeenth week of Ordinary Time

Welcome to the Seventeenth week of Ordinary Time.  Year Six

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

After this week I thank you for that energetic rendition as it supercharged me for todays service in defense of religious liberty.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 8 page 96 where the prophets say …

Watkins	I'd like to leave the army please, sir.
Colonel	Good heavens man, why?
Watkins	It's dangerous.
Colonel	What?
Watkins	There are people with guns out there, sir.
Colonel	What?
Watkins	Real guns, sir. Not toy ones, sir. Proper ones, sir. They've all got 'em. All of 'em, sir. And some of 'em have got tanks.
Colonel	Watkins, they are on our side.
Watkins	And grenades, sir. And machine guns, sir. So I'd like to leave, sir, before I get killed, please.
Colonel	Watkins, you've only been in the army a day.
Watkins	I know sir but people get killed, properly dead, sir, no barley cross fingers, sir. A bloke was telling me, if you're in the army and there's a war you have to go and fight.
Colonel	That's true.
Watkins	Well I mean, blimey, I mean if it was a big war somebody could be hurt.
Colonel	Watkins why did you join the army?
Watkins	For the water-skiing and for the travel, sir. And not for the killing, sir. I asked them to put it on my form, sir - no killing.
Colonel	Watkins are you a pacifist?
Watkins	No sir, I'm not a pacifist, sir. I'm a coward.

Open your hymnal to page 23 and join us in singing “Philosopher’s Song” verse 2

Plato, they say, could stick it away,  Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,  And Hobbes was fond of his dram

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,  "I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,  A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 42 page 278 where the prophets say … RAF banter

Bovril	How was it?
Squadron Leader	Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
Bovril	Er, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you, Squadron Leader.
Squadron Leader	It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry...pranged his kite right in the how's yer father...hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
Bovril	No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower.
Squadron Leader	Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy.

Homily Parishioners, Religious attacks from Leftards have been increasing around the globe, and now these religious “fifth columnist’s” ideas are starting to spread into non western areas.  We are all familiar with the increasing attacks against Christians in West Africa, but the root of the problem started and continues in Western Culture itself.  Recently in Quebec, the Quebecois and Liberals combined to remove religious exemptions from their profligate “hate speech” laws (https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/government-bill-religious-exemption-hate-speech-9.7009646).  The result will shortly be the jailing of ministers who do not “kowtow” to the continued extirpation of religion from Western society. 

Meanwhile, over in Europe, in what can only be described as a blatant act of idiocy, that bastion of lies “Politihole” launched a stunningly stupid article after the religious holiday of Christmas (https://www.politico.eu/article/how-far-right-stole-christmas-culture-war-christian-civilization/).  According to these self anointed defenders of “truth” the “far right” is stealing Christmas by declaring it to be … “Christian”!  In these ignoramuses’ minds the birth of “Christ” celebration is somehow not “Christian”!  I would try to explain their lack of thinking but such an effort would make “my brain hurt”, and as the prophets in their “gumby” guise demonstrated many times this should be avoided.   

The continued poisoned brew against religion leads to predictable results in places that such practices are rare.  Recently Hindu extremists in India began threaten genocide against Christians in India (https://www.genocidewatch.com/single-post/hindu-extremists-threaten-genocide-against-christians).  If Western nations continue to belittle, reduce and marginalize their own religions, then such talk and the actions that are associated must be expected. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.