The Third Week of Pythonalia Honoraria, the Ministry of Neal Innes

 

This, the Third week of Pythonalia Honoraria, we celebrate the man who wrote most of the Monty Python musical elements, Neal Innes, please enjoy not only his musical efforts but remember he also played in some of the best sketches of the Prophets ministry.  Year Six

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for noting the “Laconic” directions for this weeks entrance hymn to match the late great Neil in song.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 22 page 295 where the prophets say …

2nd Bruce	Goodday, Bruce!
1st Bruce	Oh, Hello Bruce!
3rd Bruce	How are yer Bruce?
1st Bruce	Bit crook, Bruce.
2nd Bruce	Where's Bruce?
1st Bruce	He's not here, Bruce.
3rd Bruce	Blimey, s'hot in here, Bruce.
1st Bruce	S'hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!
2nd Bruce	That's a strange expression, Bruce.
1st Bruce	Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. S'hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in 'ere, your Majesty,' he said and she smiled quietly to herself.
3rd Bruce	She's a good Sheila, Bruce and not at all stuck up.

Open your hymnal to the blue insert page C and join us in singing “When does a Dream begin” verse 1

When does a dream begin?  Does it start with a goodnight kiss?
Is it conceived or simply achieved,  When does a dream begin?
Is it born in a moment of bliss?  Or is it begun when two hearts are one
When does a dream exist?  The vision of you appears somehow
Impossible to resist,  But I'm not imagining seeing you
For who could have dreamed of this?  When does a dream begin?
When reality is dismissed?  Or does it commence when we lose all pretence
When does a dream begin?

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 29 page 80 where the prophets say …

Woman	There's another dead bishop on the landing.
Church Policeman	Suffragan or diocesan?
Woman	How should I know?
Church Policeman	It's tatooed on the back of their neck. Ere! Is that rat tart?
Woman	Yes.
Church Policeman	Disgusting! Right! The hunt is on. (kneels) Oh Lord we beseech thee tell us who croaked Leicester.
	Organ music. A huge hand descends and points at the man.
Man	All right, it's a fair cop, but society is to blame.
Church Policeman	Agreed.
Man	I would like the three by the bin to be taken into consideration.
Church Policeman	Right. And now, I'd like to conclude this arrest with a hymn.

 

Homily Parishioners, The rate at which Europe is spiraling out of control makes keeping up with the developments problematical to say the least.  But I thought we should look in once again on their descent into madness.  This week, Spain decided to block their airspace to American usage for the ongoing fight against barbarity going on in the Mid East.  However it turns out that this is just a distraction from the actual problem Spain is getting deluged with, a tidal wave of illegal migrants!  The situation, brought on by Madrid’s suicidal decision last month to mass legalize half a million illegals in their country, it took them 800 years to reclaim their country the last time they were invaded from Morocco so one would hope they would have learned the lesson, but obviously not.  Now it turns out that the legalization has led to a predictable deluge of further illegals expecting the same result (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/month-after-mass-amnesty-illegals-spain-urges-brussels-take-migrants-its-hands).  Now Madrid has gone cap in hand to Brussels to beg that the new swarm be hauled off to anywhere else in Europe in a problem redistribution scheme.  Perhaps it would be in America’s best interests to sever their ties now, before this really brews up? 

Meanwhile in Britain Sadiq Khan got caught lying about the massive scope of the Pakistani “Grooming Gang” problem in his London, Sadiq being of Pakistani descent of course always minimizes the threat (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/london-mayor-khan-under-fire-bbc-exposes-scale-grooming-gangs).  The most amazing part of this bit of actual journalism by a Legacy channel is that none other than the BBC was the outlet that ran the story!  Things must be truly bad for the BBC to be actually catching out Sadiq Khan on a major scandal! 

Finally, in a story that sounds like it came from the Onion, the new government of Syria has officially asked the German government NOT to deport Syrian refugees back to Syria (https://signin.auth.welt.de/account-completion?returnTo=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.welt.de%2Fpolitik%2Fdeutschland%2Farticle69974bce6e900962941aa7c2%2Fabschiebungen-bleiberechte-richten-sich-nicht-nach-wuenschen-der-herkunftslaender-union-erteilt-syrien-abfuhr.html&flow=31525cdd-a8c4-434d-8dca-32516e205f30).  While many potential reasons could be behind such a request, the actual stated reason is most startling and telling.  The new government of Syria cites security concerns IN Syria, if the refugees are sent back.  The Syrian regime is afraid that the refugees will cause trouble back home!  But of course it is OK to have them cause trouble in Germany! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.