Second Week of Pythonalia, Year Seven

 

Welcome to the Second week of “Pythonalia”. Year Seven

All are Welcome to rejoice and enjoy our second week of Pythonalia.  Pythonalia is the six week (in honor of the six holy prophets) celebration of our religion's rich history and impact on civilization.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

 

Thank you for that spiritual rendition it warmed my heart as I walked to the pulpit.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode5 page 62 where the prophets say: 

(Scene : A news studio with a large screen behind newsreader.)

Newsreader: (ERIC) ... and several butchers aprons. In Fulham this morning a jeweller's shop was broken into and jewellery to the value of £2,000 stolen. Police have issued this picture of a man they wish to interview. (on the screen behind, him, there appears an identical picture of him, sitting at his newsreader desk) The man is in his late twenties wearing a grey suit, a white shirt and a floral tie. (on the screen behind, police come in and remove the newsreader) Will anyone who sees this man or can give any information about his whereabouts contact their nearest policestation. (he is handed a piece of paper) Ah! Oh. We've just heard that police have detained the man they wished to interview in connection with the jewel robbery. Ah, but after questioning police have ruled him out of their enquiries and released him. (the other newsreader appears back on the screen and sits down) Sport. (he is handed another piece of paper) Ah, they say, however, that acting on his information they now wish to interview a newsreader in the central London area. Ah, police are concentrating their enquiries on the British Broadcasting Corp ... (a policeman comes in, and removes newsreader in the foreground) Excuse me a minute...

(The newsreader on the screen behind continues.)

Other Newsreader: We understand a man is now helping police with their enquiries. And that is the end of the news. (he clips a piece of jewellery on to his ear) And now, 'Match of the Day'.

Please open your hymnal to page 18 and join us in singing “Yangtse Song”  First Verse

We love the Yangtse,  Yangtse Kiang
Flowing from Yushu,  Down to Ching Kiang
Passing though Chung King,  Wuhan and Hoo Kow
3000 miles,,  But it gets there somehow
Oh! Szechuan's the province,  And Shanghai is the port
And Yangtse is the river,  That we all support

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page 211 where the prophets say …

CAPTION: 'A PARTY POLITICAL BROADCAST ON BEHALF OF THE CONSERVATIVE AND UNIONIST PARTY'

Voice Over: There now follows a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Conservative and Unionist Party.

(Cut to a politician sitting on a chair. He is in fact in a rehearsal room, unseen for six lines.)

Politician: Good evening. Figures talk. We have already fulfilled over three of our election pledges before the end of our second year of good Conservative rule. And, what is more (gets up and starts to do dancing movements as he speaks) We hope ... that in the aut-tumn we shall int-ro-duce leg-is-lat-tion in the House to bene-fit all those in low-er in-come groups. And fur-ther-more we hope...

(Enter a choreographer.)

Choreographer: No, no, no, no... look, luv, it's and... (does the movements) one and two and three and four, and five and six and seven and down.

Politician: (trying the last bit) ... five and six and seven and down... it's so much harder with the words.

Homily: Parishioners, of late stories of the decrepit state of western civilization have been emerging so I thought this week apropos to examine some of them.  I thought I would start internationally.  In Germany this week it came out that the former chief “spy” of Germany has been arrested for spying for a foreign state (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/germanys-former-spy-chief-arrested-biggest-espionage-scandal-century).  One of the many confusing things about this story and it attention is that the ‘former’ part of the story is pretty serious, the man retired more than 20 years ago and this spying is decades older than that.  Why is this story getting international headlines?  Whatever damage he did has long since been resolved.  Oh wait a minute, he was spying for Israel.  Ah yes, the German Israel hate rises again. 

Meanwhile in New York, the city has been experiencing a problem with “moles”, as in “Mole Men” (https://www.zerohedge.com/personal-finance/mole-men-return-weird-manhattan-manhole-crew-spotted-4am).  This was the first time the MSM deigned to admit this was going on but the videos have been circulating for months.  The police quickly caught these idiots and their official response to what they were doing was looking for lost items in the sewer system.  Naturally they were “migrants”.  Speaking of imbeciles looking for “treasure”, it was also recently admitted that when the F.B.I. raided Mar-a-Lago back in the Biden daze, it was decided that as a mission parameter for the raid, they had to ”account” for Melania (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/fbi-tracked-trump-aides-phone-monitored-melania-trump-mar-lago-raid-declassified-memos).  Never let it be said that the F.B.I loses sight of what their initials stand for “Female Body Inspectors! 

Finally, in what is hopefully NOT a foreshadow of how this year’s election is going to go, apparently Americans are turning to AI chatbots for voting advice (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/americans-are-turning-ai-chatbots-voting-advice-midterm-elections)!  Apparently far too many Americans are TRYING to live in “Idiocracy”.  I am certain that the Chat Bots will improve their results. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.