First Week Of Extra Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the First week of Extra Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Having now completed our annual celebration of those who assisted the Prophets we return to the second half of our standard year, Extra Ordinary Time which will run for the next eighteen weeks.

Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 5 page 62 where the prophets say … 

Newsreader	(as if it's the fourth item)) ... and several butchers aprons. In Fulham this morning a jeweller's shop was broken into and jewellery to the value of £2,000 stolen. Police have issued this picture of a man they wish to interview. (on the screen behind, him, there appears an identical picture of him, sitting at his newsreader desk) The man is in his late twenties wearing a grey suit, a white shirt and a floral tie. (on the screen behind, police come in and remove the newsreader) Will anyone who sees this man or can give any information about his whereabouts contact their nearest policestation. (he is handed a piece of paper) Ah! Oh. We've just heard that police have detained the man they wished to interview in connection with the jewel robbery. Ah, but after questioning police have ruled him out of their enquiries and released him. (the other newsreader appears back on the screen and sits down) Sport. (he is handed another piece of paper) Ah, they say, however, that acting on his information they now wish to interview a newsreader in the central London area. Ah, police are concentrating their enquiries on the British Broadcasting Corp ... (a policeman comes in, and removes newsreader in the foreground) Excuse me a minute...
	The newsreader on the screen behind continues.
Other Newsreader	We understand a man is now helping police with their enquiries. And that is the end of the news. (he clips a piece of jewellery on to his ear) And now, 'Match of the Day'.

 

Open your hymnal to page 28 and join us in singing “Finland” verse 2

Finland , Finland , Finland,  The country where I want to be
Eating breakfast or dinner,  Or snack lunch in the hall
Finland , Finland , Finland,  Finland has it all

You're so sadly neglected,  And often ignored
A poor second to Belgium,  When going abroad

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 37 page 196 where the prophets say … 

Mrs O	What do the stars say?
Mrs Trepidatious	Well, Petula Clark says burst them early, but David Frost...
Mrs O	No, the stars in the paper, you cloth-eared heap of anteater's catarrh, the zodiacal signs, the horoscopic fates, the astrological portents, the omens, the genethliac prognostications, the mantalogical harbingers, the vaticinal utterances, the fatidical premonitory uttering of the mantalogical omens - what do the bleeding stars in the paper predict, forecast, prophesy, foretell, prognosticate...
	A big sheet is lowered with the words on.
Voice Over	And this is where you at home can join in.
Mrs O	... forebode, bode, augur, spell, foretoken, (the audience joins in) presage, portend, foreshow, foreshadow, forerun, herald, point to, betoken, indicate!
Mrs Trepidatious	I don't know.

 

Homily  Another week, another example of Lying Joe Biden.  This week as Lying Joe incoherently babbled at Steel workers in Pittsburgh, he claimed that one of his Uncles had been “shot down” in WWII and then eaten by Cannibals (https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/04/17/remarks-by-president-biden-on-new-actions-to-protect-u-s-steel-and-shipbuilding-industry-from-chinas-unfair-practices-pittsburgh-pa/).  As is usual with Biden claims, both elements of the story are false, the plane went down at sea due to engine trouble, and Lying Joe’s Uncle never got off the plane according to a survivor. 

In a more bizarre twist of the story it now turns out that New Guinea Cannibals are “offended” by such a blatant lie as they would never eat just any White Guy who fell from the sky (https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/apr/19/joe-biden-uncle-bosie-cannibals-eaten-papua-new-guinea)!  I am certainly glad that we have that part of this lie straight!

Unfortunately, the lies of Joe Biden are not all quite so harmless.  It also turns out that recently, one of Joe Biden Administration’s personally selected for resettlement illegals from Haiti got into a bit of trouble.  After being flown from Haiti to Boston at U.S. tax payer expense.  Then, put up in a hotel, once again at Tax payer expense.  This illegal decided to rape a fourteen year old girl in the same tax payer supplied hotel room (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/haitian-national-arraigned-rape-14-year-old-girl-massachusetts-hotel)!  As the Lying Biden Administration tells us that these “immigrants” are “good for America”  please remember that little girl and pray for her well being.   

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.