The Second Week of Extra Ordinary Time

 

Welcome all to the second week of Extra Ordinary Time. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that staunch rendition of the Processional, the support is appreciated.  Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 20 page 269 where the prophets say …

Assistant	Professor! What is it? What have you seen?
Professor	Look - there, in the doorway.
	Cut to doorway: through it is animation of a huge sheep with an eye patch.
Assistant	Urghhh! Arthur X! Leader of the Pennine Gang!
	ANIMATION: perhaps even mixed with stock film - as the fevered mind of Gilliam takes it - sheep armed to the teeth, sheep executing dangerous raids, Basil Cassidy and the Sundance Sheep, sheep with machine gun coming out of its arse etc. At the end of the animation, cut to studio. A narrator sitting in what could be a news set at a desk.
Narrator	But soon the killer sheep began to infect other animals with its startling intelligence. Pussy cats began to arrange mortgages, cocker spaniels began to design supermarkets...

 

Open your hymnal to page 2 and join us in singing “Spam” verse 1

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!,  Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 25 page 27 where the prophets say …

Mr Bun	Morning
Waitress	Morning
Mr Bun	What have you got, then?
Waitress	Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Mrs Bun	Have you got anything without spam in it?
Waitress	Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Mrs Bun	I don't want ANY spam!
Mr Bun	Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
Mrs Bun	That's got spam in it!
Mr Bun	Not as much as spam, egg, sausage and spam.
Mrs Bun	Look, could I have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
Waitress	Uuuuuuggggh!

 

Homily  As “Shufflin Uncle Joe” continually demonstrates that blades of grass are a more effective obstacle than our southern border, I though that this week I would look at some of the things the Illegals and our “defenders” have been up to lately. 

Starting Ohio, last week an amazing scene saw as a man who could not speak English used a translator app to try and rob a bank (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/watch-non-english-speaking-military-aged-venezuelan-male-attempts-rob-bank-ohio-using)!  After being arrested by police it was determined that the would be bank robber was an illegal from Venezuela and was putting his Biden provided cell phone to an interesting new use. 

Also recently a story that the current administration and its media clown supporters managed to initially sweep under the rug broke out free once again.  It turns out that an Afghan Terrorist managed to cross though our southern border and got caught by the C&BP people.  Naturally, they released him and he disappeared.  This first part was successfully ignored by the media.  However, last week our new “friend” from Afghanistan got caught again by C&BP and this time brought before a judge as a terrorist.  So naturally the judge released him on his own recognizance (https://www.nbcnews.com/investigations/man-terror-watchlist-remains-us-released-border-patrol-rcna147192) again!  The adults are in the room. 

Finally, the S.U.J. misadministration spent over 320 Million dollars on Border walls in: Oman, Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt, and Tunisia (https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2024/03/27/joe-biden-funds-border-security-in-foreign-countries-as-u-s-mexico-border-crossings-hit-7-4-million/)!  So when they do realize there may be a need for some walls apparently they decided to try out the design in foreign countries BEFORE putting up walls here.  Such clear logic. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.