The Ninth Week of Extra Ordinary Time

 

Welcome all to the Ninth week of Extra Ordinary Time. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

As the heat index rises, I appreciate the “cool jazz” approach to this week’s processional, even though I still dislike jazz.

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 19 page 252 where the prophets say …

Interviewer	Mr L. F. Dibley's 'Finian's Rainbow'. And now over to me. (close-up of interviewer) Exclusively on the programme today we have the Foreign Secretary, who has just returned from the bitter fighting in the Gulf of Amman. He's going to tell us about canoeing.
	On the bank of a river seen from the other side. There is a canoe on the bank a man in a pinstripe suit stands beside it. SUPERIMPOSEN CAPTION: 'THE FOREIGN SECRETARY' He gives a little cough and gets in. Two Arabs run in from other side of frame, lift up the canoe and throw it and the Foreign Secretary into the water. Cut back to the interviewer.
Interviewer	That gives you just some idea of what's going on out there. Today saw the long-awaited publication of the Portman Committee's Report on Industrial Reorganization...

Open your hymnal to page 4 and join us in singing “Holzfaller Song”  Verse 1

Ich wollte... ein Holzfäller sein! Ja, ein Holzfäller! Der von Baum zu Baum hüpft, die auf den mächtigen Wassern von Südtirol hinabschwimmen.

 Die gigantische Rotbuche! Die Lärche! Die Tanne! Die kräftige Kiefer! Der Duft von frisch gefälltem Holz!

 Das Geräusch der stürzenden mächtigen Bäume! An meiner Seite, mein liebes Mädel... Und wir würden singen, singen, singen...

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page 223 where the prophets say …

Presenter	And welcome to 'Spot the Loony', where once again we invite you to come with us all over the world to meet all kinds of people in all kinds of places, and ask you to . .. Spot the Loony! (crescendo of music)
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'ALL ANSWERS VERIFIED BY ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA'
Presenter	Our panel this evening... Gurt Svensson, the Swedish mammal abuser and part-time radiator.
	Cut to Svensson. He is standing on his head on the desk with his legs crossed in a yoga position. He wears a loincloth and high-heeled shoes. He talks through a megaphone which is strapped to his head.
Svensson	Good evening.
	Cut back to the presenter.
Presenter	Dame Elsie Occluded, historian, wit, bon viveur, and rear half of the Johnson brothers...
	Cut to another section of the panel's desk. Dame Elsie. Her bottom half is encased in the side of a block of concrete which is also on top of the desk. Dame Elsie is thus parallel to the ground. She has fairy wings on her back, a striped t-shirt, flying gloves, goggles and a green wig.
Dame Elsie	Good evening.
	Cut back to the presenter.
Presenter	And Miles Yellowbird, up high in banana tree, the golfer and inventor of Catholicism.
	Cut to final section of the desk. A man dressed as a rabbit, with a megaphone strapped to one eye.
Miles	Good evening.
Presenter	And we'll be inviting them to... Spot the Loony. (a phone rings on the desk; he picks it up) Yes? Quite right ... A viewer from Preston there who's pointed out correctly that the entire panel are loonies. Five points to Preston there, and on to our first piece of film. It's about mountaineering and remember you have to... Spot the Loony!

Homily  In a typical week of “spot the Loony” in the American Government and ever expanding war in the Middle East I decided to combine the two in our Homily, Our “war” will be sports though.  To start with America’s official “news sour(ce), NPR, recently determined that there is “limited evidence” that men are stronger than women (https://www.npr.org/2023/03/24/1165795462/transgender-track-and-field-athletes-cant-compete-in-womens-international-events?utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social).  I expect that if you have limited enough experience with women this could make sense. 

But in the real world when women who have spent most of their lives preparing to compete in sports come face to face with the reality of trying to compete with males who have also been preparing most of their lives only to find out they do not measure up against other men and now are more interested in “taking” trophies than EARNING trophies and now want to compete against women to do so (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/girls-basketball-team-withdraws-state-tournament-protest-against-transgender-player-who).  The sinking reaction is truly sad to witness. 

Such reactions are not restricted to high school students.  Due to the physical threat that male athletes pose to females in contact sports even professional athletes are unwilling to risk their future in these once upon a time male’s demand for accolades (https://www.zerohedge.com/medical/20-women-soccer-players-withdraw-league-over-transgender-players).  Perhaps these would be champions should just save up their money and buy themselves a few championships, at least there would be some sort of “earned” involved! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.