The Tenth Week of Extra Ordinary Time

 

Welcome all to the Tenth week of Extra Ordinary Time. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you all for that cool Islands breezes rendition, after a week of power outages and 100 degree heat indicies, any attempt at “cool” is appreciated.   

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 20 page 272 where the prophets say …

Voice Over	Arthur Figgis is an idiot. A village idiot. Tonight we look at the idiot in society.
	Cut to close-up of Figgis talking to camera. Very big close-up losing the top and bottom of his head.
Figgis	(educated voice) Well I feel very keenly that the idiot is a part of the old village system, and as such has a vital role to play in a modern rural society, because you see ... (suddenly switches to rural accent) ooh ar ooh ar before the crops go gey are in the medley crun and the birds slides nightly on the oor ar ... (vicar passes and gives him sixpence) Ooh ar thankee, Vicar ... (educated voice) There is this very real need in society for someone whom almost anyone can look down on and ridicule. And this is the role that ... ooh ar naggy gamly rangle tandie oogly noogle Goblie oog ... (passing lady gives him sixpence) Thank you, Mrs Thompson... this is the role that I and members of my family have fulfilled in this village for the past four hundred years... Good morning, Mr Jenkins, ICI have increased their half-yearly dividend, I see.
	We see Mr Jenkins pass, he is also an idiot, identically dressed.
Mr Jenkins	Yes, splendid.
Figgis	That's Mr Jenkins - he's another idiot. And so you see the idiot does provide a vital psycho-social service for this community. Oh, excuse me, a coach party has just arrived. I shall have to fall off the wall, I'm afraid.

Open your hymnal to page 22 and join us in singing “Henry Kissinger?”  Verse 1

Henry Kissinger,  How I'm missing yer
You're the Doctor of my dreams,  With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare

And your machiavellian schemes,  I know they say that you are very vain
And short and fat and pushy but at least you're not insane,  Henry Kissinger

How I'm missing yer,  And wishing you were here

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 27 page 52 where the prophets say …

Mrs Conclusion	We're going to have our budgie put down.
Mrs Premise	Really? Is it very old?
Mrs Conclusion	No. We just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow.
Mrs Premise	Tell me, how do they put budgies down then?
Mrs Conclusion	Well it's funny you should ask that, but I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or, you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.
Mrs Premise	Just there!
Mrs Conclusion	Yes.
Mrs Premise	Well well well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo.
Mrs Conclusion	Ooh! No! You shouldn't do that - no that's dangerous. Yes, they breed in the sewers, and eventually you get evil-smelling flocks of huge soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories infringing their personal freedom. (life-size cut-out of woman at end of last animation goes by) Good morning Mrs Cut-out.
Mrs Premise	It's a funny thing freedom. I mean how can any of us be really free when we still have personal possessions.
Mrs Conclusion	You can't. You can't. I mean, how can I go off and join Frelimo when I've got nine more installments to pay on the fridge.
Mrs Premise	No, you can't. You can't. Well this is the whole crux of Jean-Paul Sartre's 'Roads to Freedom'.

Homily  So, our would be “rulers” are determined that we should be eating bugs as well as other foul nastiness.  To this end they continue to pursue their “fake meat” agenda despite the fact that all forms are money losing efforts.  These efforts know no end as this recent example shows (https://www.weforum.org/publications/creating-a-vibrant-food-innovation-ecosystem-through-alternative-proteins/#:~:text=Creating%20a%20Vibrant%20Food%20Innovation%20Ecosystem%20through%20Alternative%20Proteins,-Download%20PDF&text=This%20white%20paper%20highlights%20the,dynamic%20food%2Dtech%20innovation%20ecosystem).  However, simple propaganda attempting to bolster the non meat is not enough. 

Recently our government has decided that the military will be forced to eat non meat as part of their service to our country (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/alt-protein-pentagon-contractor-wants-feed-us-troops-lab-grown-meat-reduce-co2-footprint).  Naturally such a diet change will also “benefit the environment” by reducing the amount of CO2, that those filthy animals produce. 

Unfortunately, that “evil right wing conspiracy theory wragg”, The Lancet just released a study which shows that consumption of fake meat is linked to heart disease and Early death (https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanepe/article/PIIS2666-7762(24)00115-7/fulltext)!  Apparently the Sleepy Uncle Joe administration has decided to try a new means of “caring” for our veterans, I am sure this will offer some “serious cost savings”. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.