The Eighth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Eighth week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for the effort on that Yacht Rock recital, I have always found those dulcid tones refreshing.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 7 page 85 where the prophets say …

 

American Voice	(very resonant) The Universe consists of a billion, billion galaxies... 77,000,000,000 miles across, and every galaxy is made up of a billion, zillion stars and around these stars circle a billion planets, and of all of these planets the greenest and the pleasantest is the planet Earth, in the system of Sol, in the Galaxy known as the Milky Way ... And it was to this world that creatures of an alien planet came ... to conquer and destroy the very heart of civilization...
	Mix into close-up of railway station sign: 'New Pudsey'. Pull out to mid-shot of a couple walking towards camera. They are middle-aged. He (Graham) wears a cricket blazer and grey flannels and a carrier bag. She (Eric) wears a fussy print dress.
American Voice	(gently) It was a day like any other and Mr and Mrs Samuel Brainsample were a perfectly ordinary couple, leading perfectly ordinary lives - the sort of people to whom nothing extraordinary ever happened, and not the kind of people to be the centre of one of the most astounding incidents in the history of mankind ... So let's forget about them and follow instead the destiny of this man ... (camera pans off them; they both look disappointed; camera picks up instead a smart little business man, in bowler, briefcase and pinstripes) ... Harold Potter, gardener, and tax official, first victim of Creatures from another Planet.
	Weird electronic music. Sinister atmosphere. Follow him out of station. Cut-away to flying saucer, over day skyline. Back to Potter as he walks up suburban road. Back to flying saucer. It bleeps as if it has seen its prey and changes direction. Cut back to Potter just about to open his front gate. Shot from over the other side of the road. Cut to flying saucer sending down ray. Potter freezes . . . shivers and turns into a Scotsman with kilt, and red beard. His hand jerks out in front of him and he spins round and scuttles up road in fast motion, to the accompaniment of bagpipe music. Cut to close-up of newspaper with banner headline: 'Man turns into a Scotsman'.
Newsvendor's Voice	Read all abaht it! Read all abaht it! Man turns into Scotsman!

Open your hymnal to page 15 and join us in singing “Yangtse Song”  Verse 1

We love the Yangtse,  Yangtse Kiang
Flowing from Yushu,  Down to Ching Kiang
Passing though Chung King,  Wuhan and Hoo Kow
3000 miles,,  But it gets there somehow
Oh! Szechuan's the province,  And Shanghai is the port
And Yangtse is the river,  That we all support

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 34 page 157 where the prophets say …

Pither	Excuse me. Is this the British Consulate?
Chinaman	Yes yes... si si...that is correctment. Yes... Piccadilly Circus, mini-skirt and Joe Lyons.
Pither	I wish to see the consul, please.
Chinaman	Yes, yes, speakee speakee... me Blitish consul.
Pither	Oh! (he examines his diary.) You are Rear Admiral Sir Dudley Compton?
Chinaman	No. He died. He have heart attack and fell out of window onto exploding bomb, and was killed in a shooting accident. I...I his how you say...succ...sussor.
Pither	Oh, successor.
Chinaman	I'm his successor, Mr Atkinson.
Pither	Oh.
Chinaman	Would you like drinkee? Or game bingo?
Pither	Well.... A drink would be very nice.
	The Chinaman claps his hands and another runs in and bows obsequiously.
Chinaman	Mr. Livingstone. Go and get sake.
Livingstone	Yes, Boss. (goes)

Homily  Parishioners, this week instead of the usual complaints about some raging form of incompetence by the government or industry, I will bring a very real and scary reality to your attention – our food supply situation.  Basically, RFK jr can not get into his post soon enough!  First off, it turns out that studies show plastics are in all of our food supply, even places like Whole foods food offerings are loaded with plastics (https://www.plasticlist.org/).  So, apparently currently there is no safe place to get your family’s foods. 

Meanwhile, in another recent study it turns out that VERY commonly used oils (Sunflower, Soybean, and Canola), are linked to a rise in colon cancer as well as many other forms of cancer (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-14177541/cooking-oils-colon-cancer-young-people-study.html).  So the very oils we have been told for a generation are the “healthy choices” are actually the “deadly choices”.  For those who worry about such details here is a further details on the connection between these oils and the rise in cancers (https://themindunleashed.com/2024/12/doctors-warn-cooking-oil-used-by-millions-may-be-fueling-explosion-of-colon-cancers-in-young-people.html). 

Just in case the problems with plastics and oils were not enough, there is always the long standing problem with artificial dyes in our food supply.  At least on this front there is some good news.  It appears that the FDA, even before RFK jr arrives, is moving to ban some of the worst dyes (https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/red-dye-no-3-fda-ban-food-artificial-color-rcna183095).  At least we now know that it takes about 50 years to get this stuff banned when the FDA is left to its own devices, lets hope that FRK jr can speed that process along quite a bit for the rest of this stuff! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.