The Eleventh Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Eleventh week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spirited rendition it cannot compare to my child’s cheer team, but was a nice effort.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 12 page 160 where the prophets say …

Minister	Good evening. We in the Wood Party feel very strongly that the present weak drafting of the Local Government Bill leaves a lot to be desired, and we intend to fight.
	He thumps on the desk and he falls through the floor. (Yes Mr Director you did read that right: he fell through the floor and added a fortune to the budget). As he falls he emits a long scream, fading away slowly. Another man comes and looks down into the pit.
Man	Hello Helllllllllloooooooooo! (to camera) Er I, I'm afraid the minister's fallen through the Earth's crust. Er... excuse me a moment. (goes and looks at pit) Helloooo.
Minister	(unseen, a long way down) Helloooooo.
Man	Are you all right minister?
Minister	I appear to have landed on this kind of ledge thing.
Man	Shall we lower down one of the BBC ropes?
Minister	If you'd be so kind.
Man	What length of BBC rope will we be likely to need?

Open your hymnal to page 13 and join us in singing “Rhubard Tart”  Verse 2

The principles of modern philosophy
Were postulated by Descartes
Discarding everything he wasn't certain of
He said, "I think therefore I am rhubarb tart"
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart
Rene who? Rene Descartes
Poor mutt, he thought he was a rhubarb tart

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 32 page 128 where the prophets say …

Voice Over

(and CAPTION:) 'WE WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAY IN WHICH POLITICIANS ARE REPRESENTED IN THIS PROGRAMME. IT WAS NEVER OUR INTENTION TO IMPLY THAT POLITICIANS ARE WEAK-KNEED, POLITICAL TIME-SERVERS WHO ARE CONCERNED MORE WITH THEIR PERSONAL VENDETTAS AND PRIVATE POWER STRUGGLES THAN THE PROBLEMS OF GOVERNMENT, NOR TO SUGGEST AT ANY POINT THAT THEY SACRIFICE THEIR CREDIBILITY BY DENYING FREE DEBATE ON VITAL MATTERS IN THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT PARTY UNITY COMES BEFORE THE WELL-BEING OF THE PEOPLE THEY SUPPOSEDLY REPRESENT NOR TO IMPLY AT ANY STAGE THAT THEY ARE SQUABBLING LITTLE TOADIES WITHOUT AN OUNCE OF CONCERN FOR THE VITAL SOCIAL PROBLEMS OF TODAY. NOR INDEED DO WE INTEND THAT VIEWERS SHOULD CONSIDER THEM AS CRABBY ULCEROUS LITTLE SELF-SEEKING VERMIN WITH FURRY LEGS AND AN EXCESSIVE ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND CERTAIN EXPLICIT SEXUAL PRACTICES WHICH SOME PEOPLE MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE. WE ARE SORRY IF THIS IMPRESSION HAS COME ACROSS.

Homily  Parishioners, while some decry the “plight” of illegals in the United States as the Trump 2.0 administration begins the arduous process of removing the criminal illegals across the country.  Just in case you need a refresher on the situation the “new kids on the block”, Tren de Aragua, started off taking over apartment complexes in Denver suburbs.  The moved on the a building on Times Square in New York City (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/nypd-admits-armed-migrant-kids-govt-funded-roosevelt-hotel-terrorizing-times-square).  With 20 members committing 50 crimes and none getting arrested.  Additionally, the gang has also expanded its apartment “acquisitions” to San Antonio Texas (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/texas/article-13958241/texas-gang-tren-aragua-apartment-complex-raid.html).  In the Texas case multiple buildings have been “taken”. 

South American gangs that have invaded the U.S. have even started ‘specializing’ in their form of crime to avoid having to fight among themselves over turf, targets, or territory (https://www.jckonline.com/editorial-article/jewelers-oceans-eleven-burglaries/).   One group even drawing inspiration from the “Danny Ocean” series of movies. 

Lest anyone think that Trump was not needed for this unfolding calamity just remember the Biden administrations answer to the problem, reclassify the criminals as “White” (https://www.dailywire.com/news/black-illegal-immigrant-arrested-for-killing-entire-family-recorded-as-white-in-crime-stats)!  Obviously the Biden/Harris admin though it was a great solution, to just “White Wash” away the problem.  Fortunately Trump 2.0 has a better idea!

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.