The First Week of Extra Ordinary Time.
Having now
completed our annual celebration of those who assisted the Prophets we return
to the second half of our standard year, Extra Ordinary Time which will run for
the next eighteen weeks.
Please
open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional “O Lord
Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please don’t burn us, Don’t grill or
toast your flock,
Don’t put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
Now please
open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 5 page 62 where the prophets
say …
|
Newsreader |
(as if it's
the fourth item)) ... and several butchers aprons. In Fulham this morning a
jeweller's shop was broken into and jewellery to the value of £2,000 stolen.
Police have issued this picture of a man they wish to interview. (on
the screen behind, him, there appears an identical picture of him, sitting at
his newsreader desk) The man is in his late twenties wearing a grey
suit, a white shirt and a floral tie. (on the screen behind, police
come in and remove the newsreader) Will anyone who sees this man or
can give any information about his whereabouts contact their nearest
policestation. (he is handed a piece of paper) Ah! Oh. We've
just heard that police have detained the man they wished to interview in
connection with the jewel robbery. Ah, but after questioning police have
ruled him out of their enquiries and released him. (the other
newsreader appears back on the screen and sits down) Sport. (he
is handed another piece of paper) Ah, they say, however, that acting
on his information they now wish to interview a newsreader in the central
London area. Ah, police are concentrating their enquiries on the British
Broadcasting Corp ... (a policeman comes in, and removes newsreader
in the foreground) Excuse me a minute... |
|
The
newsreader on the screen behind continues. |
|
|
Other
Newsreader |
We
understand a man is now helping police with their enquiries. And that is the
end of the news. (he clips a piece of jewellery on to his ear) And
now, 'Match of the Day'. |
Finland , Finland ,
Finland, The country where I want to be
Eating breakfast or dinner, Or snack lunch in the hall
Finland , Finland , Finland, Finland has it all
You're so sadly
neglected, And often ignored
A poor second to Belgium, When going abroad
Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 37 page
196 where the prophets say …
|
Mrs O |
What do the stars say? |
|
Mrs Trepidatious |
Well, Petula Clark says burst them early, but David
Frost... |
|
Mrs O |
No, the stars in the paper, you cloth-eared heap of
anteater's catarrh, the zodiacal signs, the horoscopic fates, the
astrological portents, the omens, the genethliac prognostications, the
mantalogical harbingers, the vaticinal utterances, the fatidical premonitory
uttering of the mantalogical omens - what do the bleeding stars in the paper
predict, forecast, prophesy, foretell, prognosticate... |
|
A big sheet is lowered with the words on. |
|
|
Voice Over |
And this is where you at home can join in. |
|
Mrs O |
... forebode, bode, augur, spell, foretoken, (the
audience joins in) presage, portend, foreshow, foreshadow, forerun,
herald, point to, betoken, indicate! |
|
Mrs Trepidatious |
I don't know. |
Homily Parishioners, Britain, the land of the
Prophets (most of them anyway) under “Lord Starmer” has already descended
rapidly into oblivion. Apparently the source
for the “Dark Lord’s” ideas is dystopian works of fiction like Philip K Dick’s Minority
Report (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/apr/08/uk-creating-prediction-tool-to-identify-people-most-likely-to-kill#:~:text=The%20UK%20government%20is%20developing,most%20likely%20to%20become%20killers.). These
ideas seem to go straight from the author’s page to the work room of Number 10
Downing Street without even an attempt to disguise them. His most recent idea being to create an AI
pre-crime detection program, because we all know how well that turned out!
Even such blatant bad
ideas is not enough for the “Dark Lord” as now he is removing classical art
from the walls of Number 10, as apparently looking at people who actually cared
for Britain ‘creeps him out” (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14603461/majestic-paintings-royalty-Churchill-Shakespeare-ditched-No10-wokerati-art.html). Instead
what amounts to DEI crayon drawings now hangs in place of Queen Elizabeth I and
Winston Churchill.
Meanwhile
conditions on the ground continue to deteriorate for the common citizens of
Britain. As an example it was recently
decided that a convicted Pedophile originally from Pakistan can NOT be exiled
because it would be “too traumatic” since he is also an Alcoholic and he would
face problems getting that addiction satisfied in his home Muslim country (https://www.gbnews.com/news/migrant-crisis-pakistani-allowed-stay-britain-preying-young-girls-wife).
In an even more staggering judicial farce a different Starmer (Star
Chamber) judge ordered that an illegal immigrant should NOT be deported as it
would be “too stressful” for the criminal (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/04/11/deporting-migrant-would-stress-him-out-judge-rules/)! Imagine
being a parent in such a country?
In case you need a
vision of what is ahead for Britain you have but to look a little further into
the abyss that Europe has become to Austria.
It was just reported that the largest religious group attending Vienna’s
public schools is now Muslims (https://exxpress.at/politik/schock-erhebung-muslime-mit-412-prozent-groesste-gruppe-in-wiens-volks-und-mittelschulen/)! At
over 40% of the student population, and rising year on year, some alarming
problems are being noticed with Anti Semitism, Misogyny and general discipline
problems all rampant. Needless to say
teachers, especially female teachers are quitting at catastrophic levels. And just think in a few years they will be
out of school and on the streets. I
wonder how that will turn out?
Amen
Please
join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t lightly poach us, Or Baste us with hot
fat,
Don’t fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in
a vat,
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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