Welcome to the
Third week of our SUPER time, “Pythonalia Honoraria” where we will spend four
weeks celebrating the four Honorary Pythons. This week as we
celebrate the man who wrote most of the Monty Python musical elements, please
enjoy not only his musical efforts but remember he also played in some of the
best sketches of the Prophets ministry.
Please
open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional “O Lord
Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please don’t burn us, Don’t grill or
toast your flock,
Don’t put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
|
2nd Bruce |
Goodday,
Bruce! |
|
1st Bruce |
Oh, Hello
Bruce! |
|
3rd Bruce |
How are yer
Bruce? |
|
1st Bruce |
Bit crook,
Bruce. |
|
2nd Bruce |
Where's
Bruce? |
|
1st Bruce |
He's not
here, Bruce. |
|
3rd Bruce |
Blimey,
s'hot in here, Bruce. |
|
1st Bruce |
S'hot enough
to boil a monkey's bum! |
|
2nd Bruce |
That's a
strange expression, Bruce. |
|
1st Bruce |
Well Bruce,
I heard the Prime Minister use it. S'hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in
'ere, your Majesty,' he said and she smiled quietly to herself. |
|
3rd Bruce |
She's a good
Sheila, Bruce and not at all stuck up. |
When does a dream begin? Does
it start with a goodnight kiss?
Is it conceived or simply achieved, When does a dream begin?
Is it born in a moment of bliss? Or is it begun when two hearts are
one
When does a dream exist? The vision of you appears somehow
Impossible to resist, But I'm not imagining seeing you
For who could have dreamed of this? When does a dream begin?
When reality is dismissed? Or does it commence when we lose all
pretence
When does a dream begin?
Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 29 page 80
where the prophets say …
|
Woman |
There's another dead bishop on the landing. |
|
Church Policeman |
Suffragan or diocesan? |
|
Woman |
How should I know? |
|
Church Policeman |
It's tatooed on the back of their neck. Ere! Is that rat
tart? |
|
Woman |
Yes. |
|
Church Policeman |
Disgusting! Right! The hunt is on. (kneels) Oh
Lord we beseech thee tell us who croaked Leicester. |
|
Organ music. A huge hand descends and points at the
man. |
|
|
Man |
All right, it's a fair cop, but society is to blame. |
|
Church Policeman |
Agreed. |
|
Man |
I would like the three by the bin to be taken into
consideration. |
|
Church Policeman |
Right. And now, I'd like to conclude this arrest with a
hymn. |
Homily Parishioners, this week I thought I would take
a look at some intriguing news from the realm of “Science” that has recently
broken through the clutter of lies usually bombarding us from the media. First off, I thought it appropriate to start “out
of this world”, literally, on the Moon.
It turns out that scientists have discovered a huge heat radiating mass
under the moon’s surface (https://www.zerohedge.com/technology/heat-radiating-huge-mass-under-moon-0).
Naturally no one knows for sure what it is or what it does, or how it
does it, but it is a very interesting discovery. The scientists are guessing it a some sort of
radioactive reaction going on. However,
I prefer to think that perhaps the old Police song is the truth and we have
finally found the “Invisible Sun”.
Turning our
attention to our own spheroid.
Scientists have determined that our core has not only slowed down, but
actually gone into reverse (https://www.yahoo.com/news/scientists-ve-confirmed-slowdown-earth-100054337.html)!
Once again no one knows what this means, what it will do, or how it
happened, but it is an interesting development.
Scientists think it could have something to do with the process of pole
reversal, but that is just one of many ideas floated. Continuing my musical musings for this week,
perhaps it is just Gloria Estefan finally managing to “turn the beat around”?
Lest you worry too
much about either of these developments in science I will close for this week
by pointing our that Scientists have determined that they previously severely miscalculated
the Earth human population ( https://www.yahoo.com/news/oops-scientists-may-severely-miscalculated-143000821.html)! It
turns out that because they have screwed up counting rural areas they have
badly undercounted the human population on the planet. They now argue that there are more than a
billion MORE humans that determined previously, or over 9 Billion souls. So just remember that all of these stories
depend on our scientists counting properly, and apparently they simply can not
do that!
Amen
Please
join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t lightly poach us, Or Baste us with hot
fat,
Don’t fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in
a vat,
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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