The fourth an Final Week of Pythonalia Honoraria

 

Welcome to the Final week of our SUPER time, “Pythonalia Honoraria”.  This, our final week, will celebrate Connie Booth, who appeared in two seasons of the tele show and in all of the Python Movies as well.  Additionally, she also co-wrote Faulty Towers with John Cleese. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that cheery rendition of our processional, this week with people making ever larger mistakes your positivity was appreciated.  Now please open the Holy Text volume 1 to episode 9 page 115 where the prophets say …

Mounties Choir	He's a lumberjack, and he's OK, He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Barber	I chop down trees, I wear high heels, Suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie Just like my dear Mama.
Mounties Choir	He cuts down trees, he wears high heels (spoken rather than sung)Suspenders and a .... a Bra????
	They all mumble. Music runs down. The girl looks horrified and bursts into tears.
Barber	...just like my dear Mama.
Girl (Connie Booth)	Oh Bevis! And I thought you were so rugged.
	Cut to hand-written letter.
Voice Over	Dear Sir, I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the song which you have just broadcast, about the lumberjack who wears women's clothes. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks and only a few of them are transvestites. Yours faithfully, Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.) PS I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times.

Open your hymnal to page 3 and join us in reciting “The Lumberjack Song opening” verse 1

I wanted to be,  A lumberjack!
Leaping from tree to tree,  As they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia
The giant redwood,  The larch
The fir,  The mighty Scots pine
The lofty flowering cherry,  The plucky little aspen
The limping Roo tree of Nigeria,  The towering Wattle of Aldershot
The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant,  The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak

Now let us recite from memory the words of the prophets when they say …

Villager: We have found a witch, may we burn her?

Crowd: BURN!! BUUUURN HER!

Bedevere: But how do you *know* she is a witch?

Villager: She looks like one!

Other Villagers: Yeah!  She looks like one!!!

Bedevere: Bring her forward.

 (a young woman is pushed through the crowd of villagers to the platform.  She is dressed all in black, has a carrot tied around her face on top of her nose, and a black paper hat on her head.  She talks funny because her nose is closed by the carrot.)

 Witch: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!

Bedevere: Er,...but you are dressed as one.

Witch: THEY dressed me up like this.

Villagers: No! nooo!  We didn't!  We didn't!

Witch: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one!

 (Bedevere lifts up the carrot to reveal the woman's real nose, which is in fact rather small.)

Homily  Parishioners, this week I thought it appropriate to look at the doubling down stupidity of the “Democan” party which despite being clearly told by the American People in last years election that “they were naughty” and should cease immediately have decided to increase their idiocy to the best of their meagre abilities.   

Naturally, any examination of continued “Democan” stupidity starts in Kalifornication.  In the continued effort to make life in “Kali” completely impossible they have determined that cooking food creates ozone, and ozone is “bad” (even though it is a primary block on ultraviolent rays from the sun) so now they want to reduce the cooking of food (https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2025/03/13/cooking-ozone/4191741900746/)  Never mind that uncooked food is hazardous to health!  Lets hope that idea does not spread. 

Unfortunately, some states seem to seek to outdo “Kali” in libtard stupidity and “Hairy-backed Mary Land” is a primary proponent of such shenanigans.  In a state whose economy is literally imploding, the legislature and Governor have decided to try and tax people’s sleep, well at least their mattresses (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/far-left-maryland-democrats-just-passed-sleep-tax-next-thinking-tax).  Of course the idea has absolutely zero chance of working as a money raiser because the citizenry has simply to meander over to Delaware, or New Jersey, or Pennsylvania, or Virginia, where the tax is NOT enacted and buy their mattresses elsewhere and thus avoid the tax.  Oh and also further depress the state economy by moving sales to other states.  Typical Democan “thought” lets raise money by moving sales out of our state! 

Finally, in a larger study it was discovered that nine of the ten states with the highest number of criminals walking around in them, because of the lowest crime solving rates are run by Democans (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/these-are-us-states-most-criminals-still-large).  The only Republicrat run state in the top ten is Florida.  On a personal interest note, our own state of Michigan ranks as the second worst state, just eight years ago were in top ten for the LEAST number of criminals on the loose, isn’t it amazing what just eight years of Dana Nessel as your attorney general can accomplish, but then what can you expect from a lawyer with “the skills needed to defend adults accused of criminal behavior by minors”! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.