The Twelfth week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Twelfth week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that bright rendition to go along with this week’s balmy weather.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 6 page 71 where the prophets say …

Praline	(to camera) Hello. (he walks in followed by Superintendent Parrot and goes to desk) Mr Milton? You are sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?
Milton	I am.
Praline	Superintendent Parrot and I are from the hygiene squad.We want to have a word with you about your box of chocolates entitled the Whizzo Quality Assortment.
Milton	Ah, yes.
Praline	(producing box of chocolate) If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the Cherry Fondue. This is extremely nasty, but we can't prosecute you for that.
Milton	Agreed.
Praline	Next we have number four, 'Crunchy Frog'.
Milton	An, yes.
Praline	Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in here?
Milton	Yes. A little one.
Praline	What sort of frog?
Milton	A dead frog.
Praline	Is it cooked?
Milton	No.
Praline	What, a raw frog?
	Superintendent Parrot looks increasingly queasy.
Milton	We use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.

Open your hymnal to page 2 and join us in singing “Spam”  Verse 2

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!)

Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce
Served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines
Garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 25 page 27 where the prophets say …

Mr Bun	What have you got, then?
Waitress	Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Mrs Bun	Have you got anything without spam in it?
Waitress	Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Mrs Bun	I don't want ANY spam!

 

Homily  Parishioners, as a new “freedom convoy” invades arrives at our southern extremity I though that this would be a good week to put some perspective on the situation the Biden maladministration is allowing.  I thought I would start in Europe which has already been over run.  Recently, in Sweden, a (Kangaroo)court ruled that the police officers who arrested a Muslim rioter during protests about a cartoon the Muslims objected to in a different country (Denmark), would now have to pay that Muslim rioters court costs (https://www.dn.se/sverige/poliser-skadades-i-paskupploppen-tvingas-betala-garningsmannens-kostnader/)!  I am sure that will do nothing but improve the sterling Swedish Police performance.  Even more recently in London, an Afghan “asylum seeker” and convicted child molester, decided to launch a series of acid attacks against his domestic partner, children, bystanders and police officers; 12 people in total were injured (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/fugitive-wanted-london-acid-attack-injured-12-afghan-asylum-seeker-convicted-sex).  I certainly hope they did not infringe any of his rights! 

Lest you think that only European politicians are the only ones running their country into a dumpster fire.  Just this week, three quarters of House “Democans” voted against deporting illegals who get caught committing Social Security Fraud (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/75-house-democrats-voted-against-deporting-criminal-migrants-who-commit-social-security).  I am sure that the senior citizens whose money is being stolen will not mind!  Meanwhile, four of the five illegals who attacked and injured police officers in New York City after being caught were released with no bail and immediately given bus passes (with false identities) to go to Kalifornia (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/migrants-who-beat-nypd-cops-released-no-bail-given-free-tickets-california-under-fake).  There the government will just give them free housing and food, so I am sure they will have no reason to attack anyone any more. 

Of course, those illegals going to Kalifornia could be seen as a positive for New York, which is currently considering laying off 4,00 legal workers to give illegals work (https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-01-30/new-york-eyes-rule-changes-to-hire-thousands-amid-migrant-crisis?sref=6uww027M)!  The fact that they are thinking about is both a sign of some small hope as it is only at the “thinking” stage.  But also a sign of terror as they are even thinking about such insanity! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.