The Fourth Week of Extra Ordinary Time.

 

Welcome all to the Fourth week of Extra Ordinary Time. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 16 page 214 where the prophets say …

Milkman	Now then, madam. I'm going to show you three numbers, and I want you to tell me if you see any similarity between them. (holds up a card saying '3' three times)
Lady	They're all number three.
Milkman	No. Try again.
Lady	They're all number three?
Milkman	No. They're all number three. (he ticks his board again) Right. Now. I'm going to say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that comes into your head. How many pints do you want?
Lady	(narrowing her eyes, suspecting a trap) Er, three?
Milkman	Yogurt?
Lady	Er... no.
Milkman	Cream?
Lady	No.
Milkman	Eggs?
Lady	No.
Milkman	(does some adding up and whistling) Right. Well, you're quite clearly suffering from a repressive libido complex, probably the product of an unhappy childhood, coupled with acute insecurity in adolescence, which has resulted in an attenuation of the libido complex.

 

Open your hymnal to page 26 and join us in singing “I’m So Worried”  Verse 3

I'm so worried about modern technology,  I'm so worried about all the things
That they dump in the sea, I'm so worried about it,  Worried about it, worried, worried, worried

I'm so worried about everything that can go wrong, 
I'm so worried about whether people like this song,
I'm so worried about this very next verse,  It isn't the best that I've got

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 27 page 52 where the prophets say …

Mrs Conclusion	We're going to have our budgie put down.
Mrs Premise	Really? Is it very old?
Mrs Conclusion	No. We just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow.
Mrs Premise	Tell me, how do they put budgies down then?
Mrs Conclusion	Well it's funny you should ask that, but I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or, you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.
Mrs Premise	Just there!
Mrs Conclusion	Yes.
Mrs Premise	Well well well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo.
Mrs Conclusion	Ooh! No! You shouldn't do that - no that's dangerous. Yes, they breed in the sewers, and eventually you get evil-smelling flocks of huge soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories infringing their personal freedom. (life-size cut-out of woman at end of last animation goes by) Good morning Mrs Cut-out.
Mrs Premise	It's a funny thing freedom. I mean how can any of us be really free when we still have personal possessions.
Mrs Conclusion	You can't. You can't. I mean, how can I go off and join Frelimo when I've got nine more installments to pay on the fridge.
Mrs Premise	No, you can't. You can't. Well this is the whole crux of Jean-Paul Sartre's 'Roads to Freedom'.

 

Homily  Parishioners, it seems that our already topsy-turvy world is not trying to twist itself inside out as well.  Recently the growing body of Illegals in America have begun to make some rather strained and strange demands.  New York City is where many of the problems are so I will start there.  In a case of the simply bizarre, recently Illegals in the ‘Big Apple’ have been complaining that New Yorkers do not learn the illegals African languages (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/watch-migrants-complain-new-yorkers-dont-learn-african-languages).  An odd complaint as the New Yorkers have to learn English First? 

Such outlandish complaints aside, the situation is also deteriorating rapidly as the illegals attacks on New York Police officers evidence.  However, recently the illegals have started showing a complete disregard for New York’s finest.  Looking for something to do illegals recently began congregating on a city soccer field.  As the evening approached and a scheduled children’s match time approached the illegals refused to yield a field (https://nypost.com/2024/04/20/us-news/nyc-high-school-soccer-game-canceled-after-group-of-about-30-migrants-refuse-to-leave-the-field-even-after-cops-showed-up/).  Eventually the police were called, but even their presence was not enough to get the illegals off the field.  In the end the Police recommended that the children’s match be cancelled our of “an abundance of caution”, and in the end the match was cancelled – the illegals still holding the field!

Apparently, these problems are not confined to our “rotten big apple”.  Libtard bastion Denver Colorado has received a list of 13 demands by a squatter camp of illegals (https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/denver-sweep-migrant-encampment-wednesday/73-761497f7-5afd-4943-918d-32e593417865).  The list was ‘crafted’ with the assistance of local lawyers and pronounced as ‘completely reasonable”.  However, the list is being demanded in order for the illegals to “consider” moving out of the tents and into “indoor” facilities!  States are paying people to house illegals now, how long til they just come for our homes?   

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.