The Second Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the second week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that roaring rendition it warmed my heart like a spiritual bonfire as I walked to the pulpit.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 22 page 304 where the prophets say: 

Second Pepperpot	No it wouldn't. They don't stamp animals 'property of the zoo'. You can't stamp a huge lion.
First Pepperpot	They stamp them when they're small.
Second Pepperpot	What happens when they moult?
First Pepperpot	Lions don't moult.
Second Pepperpot	No, but penguins do. There, I've run rings around you logically.
First Pepperpot	Oh, intercourse the penguin.
	On the TV screen there now appears an announcer.
TV Announcer	It's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.
	The penguin on top of the set now explodes.
First Pepperpot	How did he know that was going to happen?!
TV Announcer	It was an inspired guess. And now...

Please open your hymnal to page 23 and join us in singing “Henry Kissinger”  Verse 2

Henry Kissinger How I'm missing yer,  You're the Doctor of my dreams

With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare

And your machiavellian schemes,  I know they say that you are very vain

And short and fat and pushy but at least you're not insane

Henry Kissinger,  How I'm missing yer  And wishing you were here

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page 221 where the prophets say …

SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DR PEACHES BARTKOWICZ'

Peaches (Michael Palin): For a penguin to have the same size of brain as a man the penguin would have to be over sixty-six feet high.

(She moves to the left and comes upon a cubout of the lower visible part of a sixty-six feet high penguin. She looks up at it. Cut back to the scientist.)

Scientist: This theory has become known as the waste of time theory and was abandoned in 1956. (slight edit with jump visible) Hello again. Standard IQ tests gave the following results. The penguins scored badly when compared with primitive human sub-groups like the bushmen of the Kalahari but better than BBC program planners. (he refers to graph decorated with little racquets which shows bushmen with 23, penguins with 13 and BBC planners' with 8) The BBC program planners surprisingly high total here can be explained away as being within the ordinary limits of statistical error. One particularly dim program planner can cock the whole thing up.

CAPTION: 'YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN'

Homily  With all the Tensions rampant around the world, and the Biden administration seemingly intent on starting World War III before he leaves office, I thought it would be a good idea to look at a different simmering tempest that is being ignored.  So this problem began when Germany decided that despite Poland deciding they would NOT take in the endless “migrants” flooding Europe, Germany decided that Poland had no say in the matter and the Germans started dumping “migrants” in Poland anyway (https://rmx.news/afghanistan/germany-has-begun-dumping-migrants-in-poland/).  Meanwhile the Poles started arresting and deporting the “migrants” back the Germany. 

The government of Belarus then decided that they would also start dumping “migrants” into Poland, causing the Poles to call up reservists and reinforce their Eastern border.  The “migrants” demonstrated their respect for law and order by stealing metal and forging their own crude spears.  Which the “migrants” then use to hurl over the border fences at Polish border guards to try and drive them away so the “migrants” can enter Poland (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/poland-authorizes-deadly-force-border-after-spear-throwing-migrants-murder-guard).  Then one of the spears impaled a Polish border guard and killed him.  Now the Polish government has decided to issue weapons to their border guards taking the next step toward a real war. 

Meanwhile, the back draft of “migrants” to Germany caused their crime rate to skyrocket (https://www.tagesspiegel.de/berlin/java'script:console.deb%20ug%20(%7B%20userId:%20%22%22,%20verifiedBot:%20%22false%22,%20botCategory:%20%22%22%20%7D)/).  So now tensions are rising in Germany, especially, with an election in a few weeks.  The German government is terrified of the skyrocketing popularity of the ANTI immigrant party the AfD.  And just in case there is not enough tension in all this now the police commissioner of Berlin has announced that things are getting so bad in Berlin that there are now areas where it is not safe for some people to travel – literally “NOGO” zones (https://www.berliner-zeitung.de/mensch-metropole/polizeichefin-barbara-slowik-im-interview-so-sicher-ist-berlin-wirklich-li.2272408)!  In particular the danger applies to people of Jewish or LGBTQIA+ backgrounds, or the Police.  That last is standard in all of the NOGO zones in Europe. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.