The Sixth and final week of Pythonalia

 

All are Welcome to rejoice and enjoy our Sixth and Final week of Pythonalia.  Pythonalia is the six week (in honor of the six holy prophets) celebration of our religion's rich history and impact on civilization.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spiritual rendition it warmed my heart as I walked to the pulpit.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 12 page 148 where the prophets say: 

Host (Michael Palin): Good evening. Tonight 'Spectrum' looks at one of the major problems in the world today - the whole vexed question of what is going on. Is there still time to confront it, let alone solve it, or is it too late? What are the figures, what are the facts, what do people mean when they talk about things? Alexander Hardacre of the Economic Affairs Bureau.

(Cut to equally intense pundit in front of a graph with three different coloured columns with percentages at the top. He talks with great authority)

Hardacre (Graham Chapman): In this graph, this column represents 23% of the population. This column represents 28% of the population, and this column represents 43% of the population.

(Cut back to presenter.)

Host: Telling figures indeed, but what do they mean to you, what do they mean to me, what do they mean to the average man in the street? With me now is Professor Tiddles of Leeds University.

(Pull out to reveal bearded professor sitting next to presenter.)

Host: Professor, you've spent many years researching into things, what do you think?

Professor (John Cleese): I think it's too early to tell.

Please open your hymnal to page 30 and join us in singing “All Things Dull & Ugly”  Verses 3 & 4

All things sick and cancerous,   All evil great and small,

All things foul and dangerous,   The Lord God made them all.

 

Each nasty little hornet,   Each beastly little squid,

Who made the spikey urchin?   Who made the (Democrats)? He did!

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 32 page 126 where the prophets say …

(Cut to a 'Nine O'clock News' set. A newsreader is at a desk. Photos come up on inlay screen behind him. An anonymous minister's photo is on screen.)

Newsreader (Michael Palin): The Minister for not listening to people toured Batley today to investigate allegations of victimization in home-loan improvement grants, made last week (photo behind changes to close up of another faceless minister) by the Shadow Minister for judging people at first sight to be marginally worse than they actually are. (photo changes to exterior of the Home Office) At the Home Office, the Minister for inserting himself in between chairs and walls in men's dubs, was at his desk after a short illness. He spent the morning dealing with the Irish situation and later in the day had long discussions with the Minister for running upstairs two at a time, flinging the door open and saying 'Ha, ha! Caught you, Mildred'.  …

Homily  There seems to be some confusion in some quarters about the dangers posed by illegal immigration, so in the light of the once and future president Donald Trump’s victory this week I thought we should examine some facts.  We will start with the easiest “fact” to debunk, Illegals do not cause crime because they commit crimes at a lower rate than native born people (https://nij.ojp.gov/topics/articles/undocumented-immigrant-offending-rate-lower-us-born-citizen-rate).  However one glance at the actual statistics listed shows that Illegals are only “CONVICTED”  of crimes at a rate of 400 per 100,000.  Legal immigrants are “CONVICTED” at a rate of 800 per 100,000.  Meanwhile, Native born Americans are convicted at just over 1,000 per 100,000.  So on the surface it can be said that the date indicates that the immigrants are committing crimes at less than the native born rate.  However, a bit of thought illuminates two things.  First, that these stats only count those convicted not those who actually commit crimes.  Second, that if you add the Legal and Illegal crime numbers together, immigration s is more than doubling our crime rate! 

Of more importance than the current crime rate is the growing threat the illegals are bringing – Namely violent gangs!  By way of example I would start by pointing to an MS-13 gang member showing up in a Baltimore High School (https://foxbaltimore.com/news/project-baltimore/reprehensible-maryland-parents-not-informed-of-ms-13-student-arrested-for-murder-rape-walter-martinez-bob-cassilly-nino-mangione-harford-county-baltimore-county-kayla-hamilton).  This Gang member is currently charged with rape and murder and the parents of the kids in the school were not told about the situation.  Meanwhile, in neighboring Virginia yet another MS-13 gang member was charged with bringing a gun to school (https://www.wjla.com/news/local/loudoun-county-schools-lcps-public-comment-parent-concerns-ms-13-student-safety-loudoun-valley-high-school-immigration-weapon-gun-possession-parents).  At least he had not hurt anyone in the school – YET!  Of course the School board is worried about … The gang member’s rights (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/loudoun-parents-sue-school-board-for-halting-public-comment-about-student-with-ms-13-ties/ar-AA1sVuJw?ocid=BingNewsSerp).  So the school board is shutting down open comments to silence parents complaints!  If no one can complain they must think that no one minds.  And in yet another example of the threat Tren de Aragua is recruiting kids in a middle school in Texas (https://www.foxnews.com/us/venezuelan-tren-de-aragua-gang-recruiting-kids-out-texas-middle-schools).  Obviously the illegals are not the problem. 

As a post script to the danger of illegal immigrants, I would also point out that illegals are driving a spike in the incidence of Tuberculosis (https://www.fairus.org/issue/tuberculosis-mass-migration-drives-its-prevalence-united-states). Obviously these illegals have a lot to “give” us!   

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat. 

Comments

Popular Posts