The Fifteenth Week of Ordinary Time
Welcome to the Fifteenth
week of Ordinary Time.
Please
open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional “O Lord
Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please don’t burn us, Don’t grill or
toast your flock,
Don’t put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
Thank you all
for that Falsetto rendition of our entrance music. It was
appreciated with the frigid temperatures this week. Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode
11 page 146 where the prophets say …
|
Canning |
The stuff of
history is indeed woven in the woof. Pearl Harbour. There are pages in
history's book which are written on the grand scale. Events so momentous that
they dwarf man and time alike. And such is the Battle of Pearl Harbour,
re-enacted for us now by the women of Barley Townswomen's Guild. |
|
Cut to a
muddy corner of a field. Miss Rita Fairbanks stands talking straight to
camera. Behind her lurk five more pepperpots. |
|
|
Canning |
(voice over) Miss
Rita Fairbanks - you organized this reconstruction of the Battle of Pearl
Harbour - why? |
|
Rita |
Well we've
always been extremely interested in modern drama ... we were of course the
first Townswomen's Guild to perform 'Camp On Blood Island', and last year we
did our extremely popular re-enactment of 'Nazi War Atrocities'. So this year
we thought we would like to do something in a lighter vein... |
|
Canning |
So you chose
the Battle of Pearl Harbour? |
|
Rita |
Yes, that's
right, we did. |
|
Canning |
Well I can
see you're all ready to go. So I'll just wish you good luck in your latest
venture. |
Then he smashed Ireland,
set up the Commonwealth and more
He crushed the Scots at Worcester and beat the Dutch at sea in 1653
And then he dissolved the rump Parliament
And with Lambert's consent wrote the instrument of Government
Under which Oliver was Protector at last
The end
Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 30 page 91
where the prophets say …
|
|
|
|
Cut to an interviewer in a rather dinky little set. On
the wall there is a rather prettily done sign, not too big, saying 'Blood,
Devastation, Death, War and Horror', as if it were a show's title. |
|
|
Interviewer |
Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of
Blood, Devastation, Death War and Horror, and later on we'll be meeting a man
who does gardening. But first on the show we've got a man who speaks entirely
in anagrams. |
|
Man |
Taht si crreoct. |
|
Interviewer |
Do you enjoy it? |
|
Man |
I stom certainly od. Revy chum so. |
|
Interviewer |
And what's your name? |
|
Man |
Hamrag - Hamrag Yatlerot. |
Homily Parishioners, this week I thought it time to
focus on some good news for a change. I
thought I would start in Kalifornia where voters finally decided to roll back
the Soros evil “crimeless society” ideas (https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-voter-revolt-grows-in-california-arrest-felony-ea392d13?mod=hp_opin_pos_1).
Repealing past initiatives and recalling elected officials who allow
criminals a free pass out of jail, are a fine start. Here is hoping that with continued wiser
steps things may slowly move toward normal.
Meanwhile, in
Oregon, another state which has allowed itself to walk down the path of self
destruction, The state has decided to recriminalize the hard drugs that cost
them an entire generation as the allowed their children to slow motion die from
predictable overdoses (https://nypost.com/2024/09/04/us-news/oregon-lost-a-generation-of-people-due-to-now-reversed-liberal-drug-law-says-gop-leader/).
Apparently one generation lost to addiction and drug overdoses was
enough for them to learn the lesson.
Finally, nationwide
even Starbucks has decided to close their restrooms which had been overrun by “junkies”
since the company decided to allow anyone to use their rest rooms in a DEI
fueled reaction to liberal idealogues (https://www.wsj.com/business/hospitality/starbucks-new-cafe-policy-dining-room-e9ab07bf). However,
in this case it turns out that the deciding factor was the overwhelming amounts
of drug paraphernalia that was left in the rest rooms by the “junkies” that
brought about the change in the “popular” policy. Whatever, gets the right thing done.
Amen
Please
join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t lightly poach us, Or Baste us with hot
fat,
Don’t fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in
a vat,
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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