The Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Fourteenth week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for those dulcid tones they are always pleasing to the senses, senses that are quite frayed by cold this week.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 12 page 150 where the prophets say …

Hitler	Ach. Good time...good afternoon.
Landlady	Ooh planning a little excursion are we Mr Hilter?
Hitler	Ja, ja. We haff a little... (to others) Was ist rückweise bewegen?
Von Ribbentrop	Hike.
Himmler	Hiking.
Hitler	Ah yes, ve make a little hike for, for Bideford.
Johnson	(leaning over map) Oh well, you'll want the A39 then...no, no, you've got the wrong map there, this is Stalingrad, you want the Ilfracombe and Barnstaple section.
Hitler	Ah! Hein...Reginald you have the wrong map here you silly old leg-before-wicket English person.
Himmler	I'm sorry mein Fuhrer. I did not...(Hitler slaps him) Mein Dickie old chum.

Open your hymnal to page 31 and join us in singing “Anything goes in” 

Anything goes in.  Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas, old bananas,  Mutton! Beef! and Trout!
Anything goes in.  Anything goes out.  (Repeat)

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page 222 where the prophets say …

Second Major	(looking up) Look out!
	SUPERIMPOSED SUBTITLE: 'REGARDEZ LA!'
	They cower as MacDonald flashes through the skylight and lands on the table where he lies rigid with his knees drawn up. He ticks ominously.
Second Major	He hasn't gone off.
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'ZE HABE NICHT GESHPLODEN'
First Major	(speaks in Russian)
	SUBTITLE: 'QUICK! RING THE UNEXPLODED SCOTSMAN SQUAD'
Second Major	Yes my General!
	Superimposed subtitle in Chinese.
	Cut to a phone ringing on the branch of a tree. Pull back to show a Scotsman lying on his back with his knees drawn up in the middle of a field. Two Russian bomb experts are crawling towards him cautiously.
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'UNEXPLODED SCOTSMAN DISPOSAL SQUAD'
	They go to work on him. Tense close ups. They sweat. Finally they remove his head. One of them runs hurriedly and places it in a bucket labelled 'Vodka '.
	SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'WHISKY'
	The sound of drunken gurglings comes from the bucket. Pull back to show that this is on a screen at the back of a panel game set. Fade it out as camera in studio pans down to the presenter.

Homily  Parishioners, this week I thought I would lean into the weather (which is cold) and speak to the nonsense of “Anthropomorphic climate change” more commonly known as “Global Warning”.  In a word the idea is GARBAGE!  Recently, that most excellent news aggregator “Zerohedge” laid out its own take on the concept of Global warming (https://www.zerohedge.com/weather/msm-journos-inadvertently-reveal-shocking-truth-about-global-warming), pointing out that the idea is not supported by actual scientific facts.  Quite literally we are in the coldest era ever! 

Those who insist on clinging to the pabulum of “Global Warming” should look at this time laps graph showing the global temperature over the last few hundred millions of years (https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2024/09/19/earth-temperature-global-warming-planet/).  Once again, we are at the COLDEST era ever! 

The reality can be seen if you look for the real science.  As an example recently it was admitted that the expected ‘lack of ice’ at the north pole has failed to materialize and instead the Artic Ice coverage is increasing (https://www.zerohedge.com/weather/doesnt-fit-msm-narrative-latest-arctic-ice-data-shows-26-larger-2012).  Perhaps all the nonsense of a “northwest passage” will soon be seen to be a pipe dream, as it has always been. 

Finally, I thought it appropriate to remind you all of what things are ACTUALLY headed toward (https://www.visualcapitalist.com/cp/mapped-world-the-last-ice-age/).  Which is the world’s next Ice Age.  The good news is that it will not actually get here for thousands of years and we will all be dead before then, so "Not Our Problem!"  

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.