The Twelfth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Twelfth week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

As I worked on this week's Homily I had quite an eye opening experience, but the alter boys worm dance to the Altar was even more startling, they may need some guidance going forward.  

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 9 page 116 where the prophets say … gumby crooner

Pepperpot	Well I object to all this sex on the television. I mean I keep falling off.
	Shot of battered trophy. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'THAT JOKE WAS BRITAIN'S ENTRY FOR THIS YEAR'S RUBBER MAC OF ZURICH AWARD' ROLLER CAPTION: 'IT CAME LAST' Cut back to Canadian backdrop. In front, a man with a knotted handkerchief on his head, a wooly pullover, and braces. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'PROF. R. J. GUMBY'
Gumby	Well I think television's killed real entertainment. In the old days we used to make our own fun. At Christmas parties I used to strike myself on the head repeatedly with blunt instruments while crooning. (sings) 'Only make believe, I love you, (hits himself on head with bricks) Only make believe that you love me, (hits himself) Others find peace of mind...

Open your hymnal to page 7 and join us in singing “The Ferret Song” Verse 2

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose,  And what is worse it constantly explodes
Ferrets don't explode you say,  But it happened nine times yesterday
And I should know 'cause each time,  I was standing in the way

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose,  I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
How it got there I can't tell,  But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what is more it radically affects,  My sense of smell

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page 223 where the prophets say … spot the looney

Presenter: Yes, you're right. The answer was, of course, number two! (cut to stock film of Women's Institute applauding) I'm afraid there's been an error in our computer. The correct answer should of course have been number four, and not Katy Boyle. Katy Boyle is not a loony, she is a television personality. (fanfare as for historical pageant; a historical-looking shield comes up on screen) And now it's time for 'Spot the Loony, historical adaptation'. (historical music) And this time it's the thrilling medieval romance 'Ivanoe'... a stirring story of love and war, violence and chivalry, set midst the pageantry and splendour of thirteenth-century England. All you have to do is, 'Spot the Loony'.

CAPTION: 'IVANOE'

Homily  Parishioners, I accidentally fell into a research “rabbit hole” this week as I was preparing the Homily which completely changed the message, so please bear with me.  It all started when I discovered a Canadian research organization called “Second Street” had released a paper which pointed out a staggering statistic.  In fiscal 2023-24 more than 15,000 Canadians died waiting for urgent medical care (https://secondstreet.org/2025/01/15/15474-canadians-died-waiting-for-health-care-in-2023-24/)!  The article also pointed out that more that 75,000 Canadians had died under the same circumstances since 2018!  Truly “free stuff” is great, but NOT if you die waiting for it. 

As at least a partial result of this vast failure of Canadian “free health care” about 15,000 further Canadians were Euthanized in 2023 (https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/canadas-euthanasia-horrors-are-accelerating/).  Furthermore, the rate of Euthanasia is ACCELERATING in Canada, so the government of Justin “Truedough” is not just killing its citizens by failure to deliver care, it is also just plain old killing them!

As if this situation were not tragic enough, it turns out that the two statistics are co-related.  One of the common reasons why patients ASKED to be euthanized was because they could NOT get prompt health care for situations like Cancer diagnosis (https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/another-canadian-patient-euthanized-after-inability-to-access-prompt-oncological-care/)!  So, the next time some unknowing idiot spouts the joys of socialized medicine, just be glad you do not attempt to live in such a “state of chaos”. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.