The Second Week of "Pythonalia Honoraria"

 

Welcome to the Second week of our SUPER time, “Pythonalia Honoraria” where we will spend four weeks celebrating the four Honorary Pythons.  This week, week two, we will celebrate Carol Cleveland, who appeared in all four seasons of the tele show and in all of the Python Movies as well. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that "riveting" rendition of our Processional, it was very apropos for this week's homily.    Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 5 page 63 where the prophets say …

She	Oh, oh, oh Bevis, should we?
Bevis	Oh Dora. Why not?
She	Be gentle with me.
	Cut to film montage. Collapsing factory chimney in reverse motion; pan up tall soaring poplars in the wind; waves crashing; fish in shallow water fountains; exploding fireworks; volcano erupting with lava; rocket taking off, express train going into a tunnel; dam bursting; battleship broadside; lion leaping through flaming hoop; Richard Nixon smiling; milking a cow; planes refuelling in mid-air; Women's Institute applauding; tossing the caber; plane falling in flames; tree crashing to the ground; the lead shot tower collapsing (normal motion). Cut back to the girl in bed.
She	(smoking) Oh Bevis, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?
	We see Bevis, with small projector.
Bevis	Just one more, dear.
She	Oh.

Open your hymnal to page 9 and join us in singing “The Philosopher Song” verse 2

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away,  Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, And Hobbes was fond of his dram.

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 36 page 181 where the prophets say …

Second Assistant	There's a 'Bridget - Queen of the Whip'.
Nid	Yes...
Second Assistant	Or 'Naughty Nora'... or there's this one: 'Doug, Bob and Gordon Visit the Ark Royal'. Or there's 'Sister Teresa - The Spanking Nun'.
Nid	Mmmm... I see ... you don't have anything specially about Devon and Cornwall?
Second Assistant	No. I'm afraid not, sir.
Nid	The one I was really after was Arthur Hotchkiss's 'Devonshire Country Churches'.
Second Assistant	Well how about this, sir: 'Bum Biters'.
Nid	No ... not really ... I don't suppose you have any general surveys of English Church architecture?
Second Assistant	No, it's not really our line, sir.
Nid	No, I see. Well, never mind I'll just take the 'Lord Lieutenant in Nylons' then, and these two copies of 'Piggie Parade'. Thank you.
Second Assistant	Right, sir.

Homily  Parishioners, this week I though it wise to return to the Border Crisis while the flow in has ceased, there are still literally millions of illegals “in country”.  I thought we should start with New York City where there has been some positive news of late.  The current mayor of New York City (Adams) has recently recognized that the Illegals are causing a massive crime wave in the City and has called for state and Federal assistance in combatting the problem (https://nypost.com/2024/09/02/us-news/migrants-flooding-nycs-justice-system-making-up-75-of-arrests-in-midtown-as-pathetic-sanctuary-city-laws-handcuff-cops/).  Naturally Mayor Adams fellow Democans are calling for his removal from office. 

Meanwhile, Mayor Adams continues to try whatever he can think of to alleviate the problem.  In one of his interesting moves Mayor Adams has begun using “funds” to offer illegals free bus rides anywhere else in the country they would like to go (https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-10-23/nyc-is-paying-for-migrants-to-leave-and-texas-is-top-destination).  Interestingly, the number one destination choice for these illegals is Texas as at least some of the illegals continue to “self deport”. 

Finally, in an example of the vast omnipresent danger illegals pose in America we have but to turn to that bastion of Illegals “Kalifornia”.  It turns out that recently a group of 20 Illegals tried to force their way aboard a school bus trying to pick up kids for school (https://nypost.com/2024/08/29/us-news/group-of-20-migrants-attempted-to-enter-california-school-bus-picking-up-students-officials/).  Furthermore, another incident with another dozen Illegals three days prior, also tried a “boarding action” on a school bus picking up kids.  So apparently for the Illegals this is some sort of “plan of action”.  Perhaps though it is only natural that Illegal “border” crossers would then become illegal school bus “boarders”.  It is not like they follow any of the other rules. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.