The Sixteenth Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Sixteenth week of Ordinary Time.

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Three years on from the start of the Ukraine War and still it continues.  But Zelensky seems to have tried to Arafat Trump and had the charade blow up in his face.  I think the clock is ticking on his ‘administration’  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 10 page 130 where the prophets say …

Chairman	Yes, well, that seems to me to be very sensible Mr Phipps. I can't pretend that this library hasn't had its difficulties ... Mr Robertson, your predecessor, an excellent librarian, savaged three people last week and had to be destroyed.
Gorilla	I'm sorry sir.
Chairman	Oh, no, don't be sorry. You see, I don't believe that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, and that's been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.
Vicar	And also, they're much more permissive. Pumas keep Hank Janson on open shelves...
Chairman	Yes. Yes. Yes. (a maniacal look in his eyes) Yes, yes Mr Phipps. I love seeing the customers when they come in to complain about some book being damaged, and ask to see the chief librarian and then ... you should see their faces when the proud beast leaps from his tiny office, snatches the book from their hands and sinks his fangs into their soft er ... (collects himself) Mr Phipps ... Kong! You can be our next librarian - you're proud, majestic and fierce enough ... will you do it?
Gorilla	I ... don't think I can sir.
Vicar	Why not?
Gorilla	I.. I'm not really a gorilla.
Vicar	Eh?
Gorilla	I'm a librarian in a skin.
Chairman	Why this deception?
Gorilla	Well, they said it was the best way to get the job.
Chairman	Get out, Mr Librarian Phipps, seeing as you're not a gorilla, but only dressed up as one, trying to deceive us in order to further your career ... (gorilla leaves) Next. (a dog comes in) Ah. Mr Pattinson ... Sit!

Open your hymnal to page 22 and join us in singing “The Money Song” verse 2

There is nothing quite as wonderful as money! 
There is nothing like a newly minted pound!
Everyone must hanker for the butchness of a banker
It's accountancy that makes the world go round!

You can keep your Marxist ways, for it's only just a phase...
Money, money, money makes the world go round!

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 28 page 70 where the prophets say …

Nazi Fish	Welcome aboard, Britisher pig. Quite a little surprise, ja? But perhaps you would be so kind as to tell us all you know about certain allied shipping routes, ja? Come on, talk!
	The Nazi fish is swallowed by a fish with an RAF emblem.
British Fish	Hello, Fritz. Tables seem to have turned, old chap, let's see how you like a bit of your own medicine, eh? Come on, Fritz, now tell us - tell us about...
	The British fish is swallowed by a Chinese fish.
Chinese Fish	Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic.
Second Voice	Am very sorry, comrade commando, but we have just picked up capitalist ship on ladar scanner.
	The Chinese fish bites the underside of a large ship. Film of big liner sinking in storm. General panic and dramatic music.

Homily  Parishioners, I thought as we pass the three year mark of active fighting in Ukraine and the eleventh year of the “troubles” there, I thought it a good time to look at the current situation in the conflict.  Little did I know that current events would make the idea a top of the headline moment. 

This week President Zelensky of Ukraine attempted to pull an Arafat (agree to something in negotiations then try and demand more just before the public signing).  Just as the original stunt by Arafat failed back in the 90’s, Zelensky’s move also failed, but in the most public way imaginable.  During a live press conference Zelensky got into a verbal squabble with V.P J. D. Vance over the failings of the Biden administration (Zelensky tried to defend Biden).  Then Trump jumped in and “clubbed” Zelensky and walked away from the deal (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-meets-zelensky-says-minerals-deal-be-signed-today-will-use-ukraine-rare-earths). The best part of the whole mess was that it played out live on camera instead of behind a window and door so everyone could see. 

Trump commented that Zelensky was “overplaying his hand”.  Last year the New York Times, at the start of its current “back to journalism” kick ran a history of the mess and included the color revolution foisted on Ukraine by Obama as the start of it all (https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/25/world/europe/cia-ukraine-intelligence-russia-war.html).  So Trump’s hammering of Zelensky ring through clearly and resoundingly to anyone who knows the whole sordid history of our e=involvement in the “Maidan” mess. 

Just in case anyone thinks there is a defense of Zelensky and his election canceling regime you might want to make sure that you understand the scope of the corruption that the former comic television actor has unleashed on the helpless people of Ukraine (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/former-german-finmin-admits-corruption-ukraine-rampant-and-large-majority-ukrainians).  You know it is bad when even your own people admit your government is corrupt. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.