The Fourteenth Week of Extra Ordinary Time

Welcome to the Fourteenth Week of Extra Ordinary Time. 

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

This week the chaos of evil swirls all around us, but your calm voices allowed me to ride the dust devil of deceit to the podium.  

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 11 page 146 where the prophets say …

Canning	The stuff of history is indeed woven in the woof. Pearl Harbour. There are pages in history's book which are written on the grand scale. Events so momentous that they dwarf man and time alike. And such is the Battle of Pearl Harbour, re-enacted for us now by the women of Barley Townswomen's Guild.
	Cut to a muddy corner of a field. Miss Rita Fairbanks stands talking straight to camera. Behind her lurk five more pepperpots.
Canning	(voice over) Miss Rita Fairbanks - you organized this reconstruction of the Battle of Pearl Harbour - why?
Rita	Well we've always been extremely interested in modern drama ... we were of course the first Townswomen's Guild to perform 'Camp On Blood Island', and last year we did our extremely popular re-enactment of 'Nazi War Atrocities'. So this year we thought we would like to do something in a lighter vein...
Canning	So you chose the Battle of Pearl Harbour?
Rita	Yes, that's right, we did.
Canning	Well I can see you're all ready to go. So I'll just wish you good luck in your latest venture.

Open your hymnal to page 18 and join us in singing “Oliver Cromwell” Verse 4

Then he smashed Ireland, set up the Commonwealth and more
He crushed the Scots at Worcester and beat the Dutch at sea in 1653
And then he dissolved the rump Parliament
And with Lambert's consent wrote the instrument of Government
Under which Oliver was Protector at last

The end

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 30 page 91 where the prophets say …

CAPTION: 'BLOOD, DEATH, WAR, HORROR'
	Cut to an interviewer in a rather dinky little set. On the wall there is a rather prettily done sign, not too big, saying 'Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror', as if it were a show's title.
Interviewer	Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of Blood, Devastation, Death War and Horror, and later on we'll be meeting a man who does gardening. But first on the show we've got a man who speaks entirely in anagrams.
Man	Taht si crreoct.
Interviewer	Do you enjoy it?
Man	I stom certainly od. Revy chum so.
Interviewer	And what's your name?
Man	Hamrag - Hamrag Yatlerot.

Homily Well Parishioners, some TRULY unbelievable news broke this week, naturally the legacy types were generally trying sweep it all under the rug with the hue and cry of “old news”.  But it turns out that such is not actually the case, as we shall see.  First off, one of the more stunning revelations was actually made by the Wall Street Journal as it makes some attempts to retrieve its tattered reputation.  Turns out that China Spying networks expanded “dramatically” in the last year of the pseudo Biden Presidency (https://www.wsj.com/politics/national-security/china-cuba-suspected-spy-bases-da1d6ec9)!  Imagine what could have been done had they bothered to report it last year! 

In MUCH more startling news Tulsi Gabbard released evidence that the entire “Russian Collusion Hoax” was actually launched by “Bar-of-crack” Obama (https://www.dni.gov/index.php/newsroom/press-releases/press-releases-2025/4086-pr-15-25)!  Turns out it was an actual attempted coup against Trump’s first term of office!  This is of course where the legacy types begin wailing “10 year old News” in a pathetic attempt to sweep the story out of sight, or at least give the “faithful” some rag to hold on to. 

However, the story has continued to grow in the hours since it first broke, and now it turns out that it is NOT 10 years old, but rather pseudoBiden holdovers from the Obama administration were continuing both the “Hoax” as well as trying to cover up their involvement – welcome to “continuation of a crime”, making the whole matter just ending last year (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/treasonous-conspiracy-dni-gabbard-exposes-obama-center-trump-russia-hoax)!  I wonder if “Hopium” will see the followers through the investigation to come?  I for one “Hope” not! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.