The Twelfth Week Of Extra Ordinary Time
Welcome to the
Twelfth Week of Extra Ordinary Time.
Please
open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional “O Lord
Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please don’t burn us, Don’t grill or
toast your flock,
Don’t put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
|
Pepperpot |
Well I
object to all this sex on the television. I mean I keep falling off. |
|
Shot of
battered trophy. SUPERIMPOSED
CAPTION: 'THAT JOKE WAS BRITAIN'S ENTRY FOR THIS YEAR'S RUBBER MAC OF ZURICH
AWARD' Cut back to
Canadian backdrop. In front, a man with a knotted handkerchief on his head, a
wooly pullover, and braces. SUPERIMPOSED
CAPTION: 'PROF. R. J. GUMBY' |
|
|
Gumby |
Well I think
television's killed real entertainment. In the old days we used to make our
own fun. At Christmas parties I used to strike myself on the head repeatedly
with blunt instruments while crooning. (sings) 'Only make
believe, I love you, (hits himself on head with bricks) Only
make believe that you love me, (hits himself) Others find
peace of mind... |
I've got a ferret sticking
up my nose, And what is worse it constantly explodes
Ferrets don't explode you say, But it happened nine times yesterday
And I should know 'cause each time, I was standing in the way
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose, I've got a ferret sticking up
my nose
How it got there I can't tell, But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what is more it radically affects, My sense of smell
Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page
223 where the prophets say … spot the looney
Presenter: Yes, you're right. The answer was, of course,
number two! (cut to stock film of Women's Institute applauding) I'm
afraid there's been an error in our computer. The correct answer should of
course have been number four, and not Katy Boyle. Katy Boyle is not a loony,
she is a television personality. (fanfare as for historical pageant; a
historical-looking shield comes up on screen) And now it's time for
'Spot the Loony, historical adaptation'. (historical music) And
this time it's the thrilling medieval romance 'Ivanoe'... a stirring story of
love and war, violence and chivalry, set midst the pageantry and splendour of
thirteenth-century England. All you have to do is, 'Spot the Loony'.
CAPTION: 'IVANOE'
(Cut to a butcher shop. A loony stands in the
middle (this is the same loony from 'Silly Election' with enormous
trousers and arms inside them and green fright wig). Another loony in a long
vest down to his knees with a little frilly tutu starting at the knees and bare
feet is dancing with a side of beef also wearing a tutu. Another loony in
oilskins with waders and sou 'water ard fairy wings is flying across the top of
picture. Another man dressed us a bee is standing on the counter. Another loony
is dressed as a carrot leaning against the counter going: 'pretty boy, pretty
boy'. A cocophony of noise. We see this sight for approximately five seconds.
Fantastic loud buzzes.)
Presenter: Yes, well done, Mrs L of Leicester, Mrs B of
Buxton and Mrs G of Gotwick, the loony was of course the writer, Sir Walter
Scott.
Homily Parishioners,
this week we have that rarest of homilies, one with good news. I always quite excited as I reach that
tipping point in information to allow one of these weeks. I thought I would start off with the simple
revelation of there still being some decent human beings on the planet, and the
discovery of a potential retirement spot for myself, if I ever do so. Turns out that the reason the people of Greenland
are not so keen on joining the United States, and REALLY not interested in
deals with the Chinese is that they do not want to tear the Island apart in the
quest for mining “wealth” (https://www.zerohedge.com/energy/why-greenland-isnt-chasing-dream-becoming-mining-superpower).
The Greenlanders are more interested in stewardship of their island than
in getting rich in fiat currency. BRAVO!
Next up, there has
been a definite turn since last November in the direction of the climate change
narrative. Perhaps it was when some
imbecile “scientists”, sponsored by Bill the Gates, announced they were
proceeding with an experiment to “dim the sun” to prevent “climate change” (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/04/22/experiments-to-dim-the-sun-get-green-light/).
Only “Climate Change Kool-Aide drinkers” could be stupid enough to make the
movie Highlander II into something useful.
But now there is a growing body of scientists who are speaking out
against the foolishness climate change being caused by Carbob Di-Oxide (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/1900-scientists-say-climate-change-not-caused-co2-real-environment-movement-was). Nineteen
Hundred strong already with more people still signing up. The sooner we realize this is a natural thing
and thus we can not stop, influence, or control it, the sooner we can start
turning science to mitigating real problems.
Finally, despite
all the “expert” predictions that Trump’s illegals removal campaign would
derail the economy, the evidence just keeps piling up to the contrary. This week it was announced in the labor
statistics that the removal of illegals has resulted in an increase in jobs for
native born Americans (https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/trump-sparks-domestic-labor-renaissance-native-born-workers-surge-record-high-foreign-born).
What was the old Democratic Party line “a chicken in every pot and a
job for every American”. The current
Democratic Party is currently fighting against this idea, but a healthier and
stronger America appears to be in the near future.
Amen
Please
join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t lightly poach us, Or Baste us with hot
fat,
Don’t fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in
a vat,
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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