The Third Week of Pythonalia

 

All are Welcome to rejoice and enjoy our Third week of Pythonalia.  Pythonalia is the six week (in honor of the six holy prophets) celebration of our religion's rich history and impact on civilization.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that Metronome rendition it really fits the air of todays service.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 21 page 286 where the prophets say …

Roy (Eric Idle): (voice over) The mosquito's a clever little bastard. You can track him for days and days until you really get to know him like a friend. He knows you're there, and you know he's there. It's a game of wits. You hate him, then you respect him, then you kill him.

(Cut to Hank Spim who stands peering toward the horizon. Suddenly he points.)

Voice Over: Suddenly Hank spots the mosquito they're after.

(Dramatic music. Crash zoom along Hank's eyeline to as big a close-up as we can get of a patch in a perfectly ordinary field. Cut back to Hank and Roy starting to crawl towards some bushes.)

Voice Over: Now more than ever, they must rely on the skills they have learnt from a lifetime's hunting. (tense music, as they worm their way forward) Hank gauges the wind. (shot of Hank doing complicated wind gauging biz.) Roy examines the mosquito's spoor. (shot of Roy examining the ground intently) Then... (Roy fires a bazooka. Hank fires off a machine gun; a series of almighty explosions in the small patch of field; the gunfire stops and the smoke begins to clear) It's a success. The mosquito now is dead. (Hank and Roy approach the scorched and blackened patch in the field) But Roy must make sure. (Roy points machine gun at head of mosquito and fires off another few rounds)

Roy: There's nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito.

 Please open your hymnal to page 13 and join us in singing “Eric the half a Bee”  second Verse

Is this wretched demi-bee,  Half-asleep upon my knee,

Some freak from a menagerie?  No! It's Eric the half a bee!

 Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,  Eric the half a bee.

Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,  Eric the half a bee.

 I love this hive, employee-ee,  Bisected accidentally,

One summer afternoon by me,  I love him carnally.

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 32 page 129 where the prophets say …

Second Interviewer: Hello. I'm sorry about my colleague's rather unconventional behaviour just now, but things haven't been too easy for him recently, trouble at home, rather confidential so I can't give you all the details... interesting though they are... three bottles of rum with his Weetabix, and so on, anyway... apparently the girl wasn't even ... anyway the activity you see behind me... it's the mother I feel sorry for. I'll start again. The activity you see behind me is part of the preparations for the new Naval Expedition to Lake Pahoe. The man in charge of this expedition is Vice Admiral Sir John Cunningham. Sir John, hello there.

Sir John (Graham Chapman): Ah, hello. Well first of all I'd like to apologize for the behaviour of certain of my colleagues you may have seen earlier, but they are from broken homes, circus families and so on and they are in no way representative of the new modern improved British Navy. They are a small vociferous minority; and may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit, but all new ratings are warned that if they wake up in the morning and find any toothmarks at all anywhere on their bodies, they're to tell me immediately so that I can immediately take every measure to hush the whole thing up. And, finally, necrophilia is right out. (the interviewer keeps nodding but looks embarrassed) Now, this expedition is primarily to investigate reports of cannibalism and necrophilia in... this expedition is primarily to investigate reports of unusual marine life in the as yet uncharted Lake Pahoe.

Homily Parishioners, in recent weeks some serious news has broken around the central question of Religion in the 21^st Century, so I thought this an appropriate time to share these developments.  I will open with a couple examples of the central nature of religion in the world.  Recently scientists have begun speaking of the idea of “ethically” vat growing “humans”, without brains so that the resultant organs could be made available as an endless supply of “spare parts” for humanity, meaning those wealthy enough to afford it (https://www.technologyreview.com/2025/03/25/1113611/ethically-sourced-spare-human-bodies-could-revolutionize-medicine/).  The idea that any of these ‘scientists’ (in the sense that Joseph Mengele was a scientist) can even say the word “ethically” without choking is stunning.  Meanwhile in a similarly stunning, although for very different reasons announcement the deputy Prime Minister of Sweden has called for “banning Burqa and Niqab while they still can” (https://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/a/JbVR1b/ebba-busch-forbjud-burka-och-niqab-medan-vi-kan)!  Shows that Sweden seems to know they are in trouble, but does not have a real clue on how to get out of their difficulty.   Too late these idiots realize that their population importation plan is their own destruction.  Putting the worms back in their can is both impossible and too late. 

In even more serious news as the American media falls all over themselves wailing about the ‘genocide’ in Gaza (the population is still growing so I am unclear on the “genocide”) noted atheist Bill Maher launched a tirade about Muslims slaughtering more than 100,000 Christians during the same time frame (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/bill-mahers-unexpected-rant-targets-crisis-ignored-media).  This slaughter of Christians is COMPLETELY ignored by the Gaza obsessed media.  These murders continue on a weekly basis.  Meanwhile, the current occupier of the Vatican is literally ‘bowing’ to the climate crew and blessing blocks of ice instead of doing ANYTHING about the mass murder of Christians (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/wtf-pope-doing-here)!  Perhaps his eminence could focus on a real problem for a change and do something to protect the Christians getting mass murdered in Nigeria? 

Finally, although relying on anecdotal evidence (like bible sales) one positive seems to be happening in all this religious carnage.  It appears that there is a vast “Christian Awakening” sweeping across America that was accelerated by the assassination of Charlie Kirk (https://www.foxnews.com/video/6382805658112).  This last notion is based on things like streaming of Christian Music on services and requests for Turning Point chapters to be opened in schools as well as the Bible sales previously mentioned.  One of the Turning Point USA spokesmen said that Charlie’s goal of a chapter in all 23,000 U.S. High Schools could come true as soon as this school year.  So let us hope that in spite of all the above human hubris and vileness, there is some good on the horizon. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.