Week Two of Pythonalia
All are Welcome to rejoice and enjoy our first week of
Pythonalia. Pythonalia is the six week (in honor of the six holy
prophets) celebration of our religion's rich history and impact on
civilization.
Please
open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional “O Lord
Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1
O LORD, please don’t burn us, Don’t grill or
toast your flock,
Don’t put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock,
Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir fry us in a
wok.
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(Cut
instantly to sky. CAPTION: 'SCOTT OF THE SAHARA') |
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Voice Over:
Booming out of the pages of history comes a story of three men and one woman
whose courage shocked a generation. |
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(Blinding
sun. Pan down to Paignton beach. Scott, Evans, Oates and Bowers wearing furs
crossing sand on snow shoes. With sledge pulled by motley selection of
mongrel dogs, badly disguised as huskies.) |
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Voice Over:
From the same team that brought you ... (the names come out
superimposed) 'Lawrence of Glareorgan' ... 'Bridge Over the River
Trent' ... 'The Mad Woman of Biggleswade' ... and 'Krakatoa, East of
Leamington' ... comes the story of three people and a woman united by fate
who set out in search of the fabled Pole of the Sahara and found ...
themselves. See ... Lieutenant Scott's death struggle with a crazed desert
lion. |
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(The four
are walking along. Suddenly they stop, stare, and react in horror. Scott
steps to the front to defend the others. Intercut, non-matching stock shot of
lion running out of jungle and leaping at camera. Scott waits poised and is
then struck by completely rigid stuffed lion. Montage of shots of him
wrestling, firstly with the stuffed lion, then with an actor in a tatty lion
suit. The lion picks up a chair, fends Scott off, smashes it over his head.
Finally Scott kicks the lion on the shin. The lion leaps around on one leg
and picks up a knife. Scott points, the lion looks, Scott kicks the knife out
of the lion's paw. He advances on the lion, and socks him on the jaw. The
lion collapses in slow motion. After a pause, phoney blood spurts out.) |
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Voice Over:
See Ensign Oates' frank adult death struggle with the spine-chilling giant
electric penguin... |
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(Oates looks
up in horror, a shadow crosses him. Reverse shot of model penguin [quite
small, about a foot] which lights up and looks electric. The penguin is close
to the camera in the foreground and appears huge. Oates looks around
desperately then starts to undress. Shot of penguin throwing tentacle.
Half-nude Oates struggles with it. Intercut a lot of phoney reverses. Oates
by now clad only in posing briefs sees a stone. He picks up the stone, then
camera zooms into above-naval shot; he removes his briefs, puts the stone in
the briefs, twirls it like a sling, and releases stone. The penguin is hit on
beak, and falls over backwards.) |
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(Cut
instantly to sky. CAPTION: 'SCOTT OF THE SAHARA') |
|
|
Voice Over:
Booming out of the pages of history comes a story of three men and one woman
whose courage shocked a generation. |
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Please open
your hymnal to page 29 and join us in singing “Finland” Verse 3
You're so sadly
neglected, And often ignored,
A poor second to Belgium, When going abroad.
Finland,
Finland, Finland, The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty, Your treetops so tall,
Finland, Finland, Finland, Finland has it all.
Now please
open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 45 page 332 where the prophets say
…
Man: Come
on, please try some.
Dad: All
right I'll have some Icelandic Honey.
Man: No,
there is no such thing.
Dad: You
mean you don't make any honey at all?
Man: No, no,
we must import it all. Every bally drop. We are a gloomy people. It's so crikey
cold and dark up there, and only fish to eat. Fish and imported honey. Oh
strewth!
Mother: Well
why do you have a week?
Man: Listen
Buster! In Reykyavik it is dark for eight months of the year, and it's cold
enough to freeze your wrists off and there's only golly fish to eat.
Administrative errors are bound to occur in enormous quantities. Look at this -
it's all a mistake. It's a real pain in the sphincter! Icelandic HoneyWeek? My
Life!
Mother: Well
why do you come in here trying to flog the stuff, then?
Man: Listen
Cowboy. I got a job to do. It's a stupid, pointless job but at least it keeps
me away from Iceland, all right? The leg of the worker bee has... (They
slam the door on him. Someone rather like Jeremy Thorpe looks round the door
and waves as they do so.)
Homily Parishioners,
the Democans endless work towards starting another Civil War continues
apace. As I.C.E. agents are openly
attacked in Chicago by armed people who open fire on the agents and attempt hit
them with vehicles the Democans continue to claim that such activities are “legal”
(https://www.zerohedge.com/political/ice-agents-ambushed-10-cars-chicago-suburb-attackers-armed-semi-automatic-weapon-dhs). It is ironic that such was the same claims of
the Branch Davidians in Waco and the people on Ruby Ridge. The arguments did not get accepted by anyone
then, but seem to have some traction with Democan supporters these days.
Meanwhile a
Democan judge appointee in Oregon declares that the National Guard is NOT
needed to keep the Antifa scum off the ICE agents while they do their legal
work (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/judge-blocks-trumps-portland-guard-deployment-amid-antifa-violence-ice-targeted-chicago)! And now when Texas and Missouri are willing to
step up and do what the Kalifornia and Illnoise governments are unwilling to do
another Democan judge has moved to block them as well.
Meanwhile, making
a mockery of these political hack judges drug cartels are now doxing
immigration officials and placing bounties on their heads, “dead, or alive” (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/cartels-dox-set-10k-bounties-kill-us-immigration-officials-dhs). So when the Fraternal Order of Police national
and state presidents in Kalifornia and Illnoise as well as the national
president all sign off that they believe that the I.C.E. agents need the
support and they are willing to provide the support, it puts the situation in
crystal clarity that the politicians are the ones calling this shot.
Amen
Please
join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn
Us” second verse.
Oh Please don’t lightly poach us, Or Baste us with hot
fat,
Don’t fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in
a vat,
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, In a
Rotissomat.
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