The Third Week of Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Third week of Ordinary Time.  

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for that spirited rendition on a cold day like this every little bit helps warm the altar area.  Now please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 17 page 222 where the prophets say: 

Second City Gent	Quite agree. Quite agree.
Mr Leavey	Thank you very much. Thank you. (he shakes hands with them in an extraordinary way)
Mr Wiggin	(at door) It opens doors, I'm telling you.
Voice Over	Let's have a look at that handshake again in slow motion.
	CAPTION: 'BBC TV ACTION REPLAY' They do the handshake again, only slowly.
First Voice Over	What other ways are there of recognizing a mason?
	Shot from camera concealed in a car so we get reactions of passers-by. A busy city street - i.e. Threadneedle Street. In amongst the throng four city gents are leaping along with their trousers round their ankles. They are wearing bowler hats and pinstripes. Another city street or another part of the same street. Two city gents, with trousers rolled up to the knee, approach each other and go into the most extraordinary handshake which involves rolling on the floor etc.
Second Voice Over	Having once identified a mason immediate steps must be taken to isolate him from the general public. Having accomplished that it is now possible to cure him of these unfortunate masonic tendencies through the use of behavioural psychotherapy. (we see a cartoon city gent locked into a cell) In this treatment the patient is rewarded for the correct response and punished for the wrong one. Let us begin. Would you like to give up being a mason? Think carefully. Think. Think.
Cartoon City Gent	No.
	A large hammer attacks the city gent.
Voice	No? That's wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! No! No! No! Bad! Bad!

Open the Blue insert in your hymnal page K and join us in singing “Knights of the Round Table” verse 1

We're Knights of the Round Table,  We dance when ere we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes,  With footwork impeccable

We dine well here in Camelot,  We eat ham and jam and spam a lot

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 42 page 285 where the prophets say …

Mrs Elizabeth III: (Terry J.) Yes, repeats or war films. It really makes you want to micturate.

Mrs Mock Tudor: People on television treat the general public like idiots.

Mrs Elizabeth III: Well we are idiots.

Mrs Mock Tudor: Oh no we are not!

Mrs Elizabeth III: Well I am.

Mrs Mock Tudor: How do you know you're an idiot?

Mrs Elizabeth III: Oh, I can show you!

Mrs Mock Tudor: How?

Mrs Elizabeth III: Look!

Chief Executive (Terry J.): You see the public are idiots ... (he has a conference tag on his lapel which reads `Chief TV Planner'; he turns from the window to a conference table, piled with drinks) Yes ... you might just as well show them the last five miles of the M2 ... they'd watch it, eh?

 

Homily Parishioners, as the holidays approach I know that we all find ourselves with more time at hearth and home.  This can lead to an increase in “tele” watching so I thought it appropriate to remind all to never trust the media.  Having already lost 16 million dollars for libeling President Trump (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/paramount-trump-60-minutes-lawsuit-settlement/) one would think that CBS would get its act together and start playing “fairer”, at least for awhile, but naturally the “Liars got to Lie” and they just keep digging their credibility hole deeper (they have already added 20 million in free advertising to the cash settlement). 

In more recent events CBS has continued their unhinged and unfair coverage.  First off, one of the network’s reporters who was at the attempted assassination last year has declared that they have “PTSD”, on the surface a reasonable reaction to that tragic and horrible event.  However, the reporter claims that he got PTSD from the behavior of the MAGA crowd BEFORE the shooting happened, not because of the shooting (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/sanctimonious-reporter-says-he-got-ptsd-trump-assassination-attempt-because-maga)!  So, a mass shooting did not cause his PTSD, being insulted and jeered by the crowd set off this snowflake! 

Meanwhile, CBS has also demonstrated that they learned NOTHING from the Trump Lawsuit as they decided to edit (chop) an interview with Kristi Noem the cabinet member responsible for DHS (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/cbs-changes-policy-face-nation-interviews-after-shamefully-editing-noem-interview).  The Lying scum attempted to edit the secretary so that it appeared she was trying to dodge answering questions from the CBS employee.  In total 23 minutes of answers were deleted in the blatantly lying edit. 

Finally, going full circle, CBS was nominated for an Emmy for the edited 60 Minutes interview of Kamala Harris in last year’s political campaign (https://jonathanturley.org/2025/05/04/cbs-nominated-for-emmy-for-the-editing-of-controversial-harris-interview/).  That is right, the hominids that determine who gets nominated for an Emmy decided to nominate the blatantly lying 60 minutes propaganda piece for Kamala Harris!  Parishioners remember, they are lying to us all.  The way to know they are lying is to watch their mouth, if they are talking, they are LYING!  Do NOT be deceived. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.