The Fifth Week of Extra Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Fifth week of Extra Ordinary Time. Year Six

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for your spirited rendition of our processional, as my youngest graduates from high school and prepares to go to college I am feeling rather low, I appreciate the effort though.  

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 4 page 44 where the prophets say …

Cut to colonel: army recruitment posters on wall behind him.

Colonel

Right, cut to me. As Officer Commanding the Regular Army's Advertising Division, I object, in the strongest possible terms to this obvious reference to our own slogan 'It's a dog's life... (correcting himself rapidly) a man's life in the modern army' and I warn this programme that any recurrence of this sloppy long-haired civilian plagiarism will be dealt with most severely. Right, now on the command 'cut', the camera will cut to camera two, all right, director... (cut to a man sitting at desk) Wait for it! (cut back to colonel) Camera cut. (cut to man; he has a Viking helmet on)

Open your hymnal to page 38 and join us in singing “Accountancy Sea Shanty”

It can be manly in insurance,  We'll up your premium semi-annually
It's all tax deductible,  We're fairly incorruptible
We're sailing on the wide accountancy!

Oh, this is fun, Mr Cohen, fetch me another exotic cheroot,  Up, up, up your premium
Up, up, up your premium (Scribble away!),  Up, up, up your premium (And balance the books)

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 45 page 334 where the prophets say …

Brigadier	Dear Sir, I wish to protest in the strongest possible terms. Yours sincerely, Brigadier N. F. Marwood-Git (retired). Read that back, will you, Brian.
Bishop	And when he had built up Cedron, he sent Horsemen there, and an host of footmen to the end that issuing out they might make outroads upon the ways of Judea, as the King commanded them...
Brigadier	Good! Pop it in an envelope and bung it off! It's no good bottling these things up, Brian. If you feel them you must say them or you'll just go mad...
Bishop	Oh yes indeed ... as the book of Maccabee said ... Ye as the flea is like unto an oxen, so is the privet hedge liken unto a botanist black in thy sight, O Lord!
Brigadier	Quite... Look why don't you just nip out for lunch, Brian...
Bishop	Yea ... as Raymond Chandler said, it was one of those days when Los Angeles felt like a rock-hard fig.
Brigadier	Brian, let's stop this pretending, shall we.
Bishop	Oh... ye... as Dirk Bogarde said in his autobiography...
Brigadier	Brian... let's stop all this futile pretence... I've... I've always been moderately fond of you...
Bishop	Well to be quite frank, Brigadier ... one can't walk so closely with a chap like you for... for so long without... feeling something deep down inside, even if it isn't anything... anything ... very much.
Brigadier	Well, splendid... Brian... er... well I don't suppose there's much we can do, really.
Bishop	Not on television ... no...
Brigadier	No... they ... they are a lot more permissive these days than they used to be...
Bishop	Ah yes... but not with this sort of thing...
Brigadier	No ... I suppose they've ... got to draw the line somewhere...
Bishop	Yes...
Brigadier	Well take a letter, Brian. Dear Sir, I wish to protest...

Homily: Parishioners, and NOW for something completely different!  This week as I am hardly able to keep a coherent thought in my head I decided to just run with some random observations for the Homily instead and organized theme.  However, taken as a whole, these could be construed as good news.  First off it was recently announced that a new species of rat has arrived in Kalifornia (https://www.sfgate.com/local/article/nutria-spread-in-bay-area-19811411.php?fbclid=IwY2xjawFsVw5leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHZN_m24S_xPN5FzDn2h_HnHc7PNLPnniAt--82RTPrzZNBX3e_y4_stpjw_aem_0xRkAA87FfdKnVQDFyXuXA&sfnsn=mo).  The critters are called “Nutria’s” and can weigh as much as 20 pounds.  So now in addition to all the giant rats in the movie industry we will have giant rats running the street of Kalifornia, I can not think of a better place for them. 

Next up, it was recently announced that an Anthropic AI program “threatened its programmers with blackmail to try and avoid being shut down (https://www-cdn.anthropic.com/4263b940cabb546aa0e3283f35b686f4f3b2ff47.pdf).  The positives in this case are two fold.  First off, I thought it nice that the AI was afraid of us for a change.  Second, it is still nice to know that we can shut them off! 

Finally, it was also recently announced of the seven different types of plastic, they are identified by the number inside the recycling symbol of plastic items, Only three of the seven are actually recyclable.  In the final analysis actually only two of them are actually recycled; numbers “1” and “2” (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/recycling-makes-plastic-pollution-w  orse).   At first glance this may seem like bad news as much of the “recycling effort is thus a waste of time.  However, the good news here is that armed with the facts we can now safely focus on the two types that really do get recycled and get as much of them as possible sent in.  “Effective” action is always the best type of action. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.