The Third Week of Extra Ordinary Time

Welcome to the Third week of Extra Ordinary Time. Year Six

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you for the gentle rendition, my feet are in pain from the start of outdoor season in this part of the world.  Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 18 page 242 where the prophets say …

Schoolmaster	'Seven Brides for Seven Brothers'. (slight applause)
	The curtain pans. Enter headmaster in mortar board and gown.
Headmaster	'Tis time the seven Smith brothers had brides. Fetch me Smith Major.
	Enter Smith Major in short pants.
First Smith	Sir.
Headmaster	'Tis time you and your six brothers were married.
First Smith	Thank you, Headmaster.
Headmaster	Fetch me your six brothers, that the seven brothers may be together.
	Smith Major rings handbell. Three boys enter and stand next to him.
Boys	Behold, the seven brothers.
Headmaster	Right, I'll see Watson, Wilkins, and Spratt in my study afterwards.
First Smith	(has to be prompted, then declaims badly) But where shall we find seven brides for seven brothers?
Second Smith	The Sabine School for Girls.
Third Smith	Yes, and it's the Annual Dance.
Headmaster	Fetch hither the seven brides for seven brothers.

Open the Blue insert in your hymnal page K and join us in singing “Knights of the Round Table” verse 1

We're Knights of the Round Table,  We dance when ere we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes,  With footwork impeccable

We dine well here in Camelot,  We eat ham and jam and spam a lot

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page 211 where the prophets say …

Voice Over	There now follows a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Conservative and Unionist Party.
	Cut to a politician sitting on a chair. He is in fact in a rehearsal room, but we don't see this for the first six lines.
Politician	Good evening. Figures talk. We have already fulfilled over three of our election pledges before the end of our second year of good Conservative rule. And, what is more (gets up and starts to do dancing movements as he speaks) We hope ... that in the aut-tumn we shall int-ro-duce leg-is-lat-tion in the House to bene-fit all those in low-er in-come groups. And fur-ther-more we hope...
	Enter a choreographer.
Choreographer	No, no, no, no... look, luv, it's and... (does the movements) one and two and three and four, and five and six and seven and down.
Politician	(trying the last bit) ... five and six and seven and down... it's so much harder with the words.
Choreographer	Well, don't think of them. Just count four in your head.

Homily: Parishioners, at this moment of high gas prices I thought it an opportune time to look at the chicanery of the “Econuts” to remind us all not to go overboard about a temporary problem in the strait of Hormuz.  First up a recent article from Zero Hedge about the hidden costs of electric cars (https://www.zerohedge.com/technology/green-mirage-hidden-costs-behind-electric-car-hype).  Like everything else in the “Green Agenda” it is all about the “Green” of money.  When the battery  pack will cost you five years worth of gas, the electricity is the least of your concerns. 

Continuing on the theme of cars, the “Green Brigade” also wants to limit how far you can drive your own car (the real reason for the electric car push?).  It turns out that in the once great state of Massachusetts Democans want to put limits on how far a person can drive their own vehicle regardless of fuel (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/massachusetts-dems-advance-bill-limit-how-far-you-can-drive-your-own-car).  Just think, if they can pull it off, the people in Massachusetts will be less free than the “Oakies” of the Great Depression, and pretty much at the same level as the Kulaks of Joseph Stalin’s Russia (he starved 25 million of them to death).  Lets hope that idea does not spread. 

Apparently the “Econuts” can not make up their minds about trees.  On the one hand they are worried about people using wood burning stoves and want to ban them (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/theyre-coming-your-wood-burning-stove-again).  Because of Repudicrats say that the homeless should not be allowed to start fires to keep warm as building get burned down when they do not tend them they are “cruel”.  However if “Econuts” say EVERYONE should be banned from burning wood they are just “good environmental stewards. 

Meanwhile it also turns out that the “Econuts” favorite thing in the world – Windmills, are very bad for rainforests (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/half-million-balsa-trees-illegally-logged-amazon-rainforest-every-year-feed-global-wind).  Half a million rainforest Balsa trees are illegally logged every year to build windmills!  Just another example of you can not have your Windmills and preserve the rainforest too. 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.