The Twelfth Week of Extra Ordinary Time

 

Welcome to the Twelfth week of Extra Ordinary Time. Year Six

Please open your Hymnal to page 3 and join in our processional  “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” Verse 1

O LORD, please don’t burn us,   Don’t grill or toast your flock,

Don’t put us on the barbecue,  Or simmer us in stock,

Don’t braise or bake or boil us,  Or stir fry us in a wok. 

Thank you, your joyous rendition I know it is taxing when the weather is this hot outside, I am also certain the prophets were pleased by your iambic pentameter.  

Please open The Holy Text volume 1 to episode 9 page 116 where the prophets say … gumby crooner

Pepperpot	Well I object to all this sex on the television. I mean I keep falling off.
	Shot of battered trophy. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'THAT JOKE WAS BRITAIN'S ENTRY FOR THIS YEAR'S RUBBER MAC OF ZURICH AWARD' ROLLER CAPTION: 'IT CAME LAST' Cut back to Canadian backdrop. In front, a man with a knotted handkerchief on his head, a wooly pullover, and braces. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'PROF. R. J. GUMBY'
Gumby	Well I think television's killed real entertainment. In the old days we used to make our own fun. At Christmas parties I used to strike myself on the head repeatedly with blunt instruments while crooning. (sings) 'Only make believe, I love you, (hits himself on head with bricks) Only make believe that you love me, (hits himself) Others find peace of mind...'

Open your hymnal to page 7 and join us in singing “The Ferret Song” Verse 2

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose,  And what is worse it constantly explodes
Ferrets don't explode you say,  But it happened nine times yesterday
And I should know 'cause each time,  I was standing in the way

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose,  I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
How it got there I can't tell,  But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what is more it radically affects,  My sense of smell

 

Now please open The Holy Text volume 2 to episode 38 page 223 where the prophets say … spot the looney

Presenter: Yes, you're right. The answer was, of course, number two! (cut to stock film of Women's Institute applauding) I'm afraid there's been an error in our computer. The correct answer should of course have been number four, and not Katy Boyle. Katy Boyle is not a loony, she is a television personality. (fanfare as for historical pageant; a historical-looking shield comes up on screen) And now it's time for 'Spot the Loony, historical adaptation'. (historical music) And this time it's the thrilling medieval romance 'Ivanoe'... a stirring story of love and war, violence and chivalry, set midst the pageantry and splendour of thirteenth-century England. All you have to do is, 'Spot the Loony'.

CAPTION: 'IVANOE'

(Cut to a butcher shop. A loony stands in the middle (this is the same loony from 'Silly Election' with enormous trousers and arms inside them and green fright wig). Another loony in a long vest down to his knees with a little frilly tutu starting at the knees and bare feet is dancing with a side of beef also wearing a tutu. Another loony in oilskins with waders and sou 'water ard fairy wings is flying across the top of picture. Another man dressed us a bee is standing on the counter. Another loony is dressed as a carrot leaning against the counter going: 'pretty boy, pretty boy'. A cocophony of noise. We see this sight for approximately five seconds. Fantastic loud buzzes.)

Presenter: Yes, well done, Mrs L of Leicester, Mrs B of Buxton and Mrs G of Gotwick, the loony was of course the writer, Sir Walter Scott.

Homily: Parishioners, the news on “The Great Replacement” has continued unabated this past week so here we go again.  As a quick follow up it turns out that a secret police memo was leaked last week in Spain, the announced legalization of half a million “migrants” was actually the legalization of a full million migrants and more than that have flooded into Spain since the April announcement (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/collapse-schengen-over-1-million-illegal-migrants-apply-spanish-citizenship).  Who knows how many the loony Spanish communists will eventually legalize, but as the article explains this action is sparking general concern as a Spanish “citizen” can meander and live any where they want in the Euro Zone, so MANY countries are getting upset. 

So much so that Sweden, one of the big proponents of “The Replacement”, has now started a “uturn” on migration (https://www.zerohedge.com/political/major-u-turn-swedish-parliament-abolishes-permanent-residence-visas-migrants).  Announcing that there will be no future “permanent status” for migrants.  I am sure that the Soros bunch are not amused. 

But the Soros reaction has not deterred the Swedes as they went on this last week to also announce that even existing “Migrant Permits” will be subject to yearly “behavior reviews” to get to stay in country (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/sweden-passes-law-revoke-residence-permits-migrants-who-fail-good-behavior-test).  These reviews will include police reports and a good faith effort that the migrant is trying to mainstream into Swedish Culture.  George and Alex must be frothing at the mouth at the idea that if a migrant rapes a Swede they can now be tossed out.  At least they will still be welcome in Spain! 

Amen

Please join us in our recessional on page 3 of your hymnal “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” second verse. 

Oh Please don’t lightly

poach us,  Or Baste us with hot fat,

Don’t fricassee or roast us,    Or boil us in a vat,

And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord,  In a Rotissomat.